7 Month Update

Henry turned seven months old today and looking back on this past month, it is hard to believe how much he has changed in one month.  I'm going to try to remember everything, but I'm sure I will forget some things.

Stats:

• Weight- I have no idea...we haven't had a sick visit or a regular one (yay!)
• Size 3 Pampers Baby Dry--no longer in swaddlers and since the switch....no more leaks and they do great overnight (12 hours=very heavy but dry diaper)
• Wearing size 9 months in some things but mainly 12 months

Milestones:

• Saying dada often...still doesn't associate it with Shaun but still sweet to hear (I love when he just mouths it like a whisper instead of saying it loud like he is practicing-so cute)
• Signing "out" when he wants to get out of his jumper or walker
• Looking around objects to see something (like if I'm in the way of seeing his daddy...he will lean over to one side until he catches a glimpse)
• Using pincher grasp to pick up small gerber star puffs (this was just this past week--I started putting two on his tray at dinner and at first he would only rake for them.  After a few days, he caught on and used his thumb and pointer finger to pick it up.  The first time was adorable because he was concentrating so hard.  His little hand was slightly shaking as he ever so carefully brought it up to his mouth.)
• Finally locking his arms in a push-up on his tummy
• Starting to sleep the entire 12 hours without a feeding (first time was last night so I'm not expecting it to be quite just yet but we are close--usually just a 4 or 5 am feeding)
• "Walking" in his walker on our kitchen floor...just figured out how to go forward and not just backwards
• Sitting independently (although I still sit nearby because he will throw himself back sometimes)
• TEETH!!  Two cute little bottom teeth came out this month.  He worked on them while he was five months old and they popped out when he was six months old without too much fussiness.

Eating/Nursing

• Not too much to report all is going well with breastfeeding...he is still speedy, and we still have approx. five feedings per day
• Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner--starting some stage 2 foods but mainly still on stage 1.  Can't really tell what Henry's favs are anymore because he gobbles up everything.  He even leans forward for me to put his bib on...he is ready to chow down!

Naps

• Well naps were going well most of the month, but they haven't been going as well the past week.  I'm going to thank tooth #2 for that as well as I feel like Henry is "learning" a new skill.  He rolls over to his tummy now when I put him to bed, and this makes him get upset. It seems though like he might be turning into a tummy sleeper because he is doing it in his sleep at night.

 Now for the pics...

First time in a baby swing--loved it!

Working hard doing my push-ups

Loves his ducky tub....best 10 bucks I've ever spent on baby gear!

Hanging out with mommy in the nursing room at church because I'm too cool for nursery :)--today.

I was not a happy camper today but you wouldn't be able to tell from this pic.  Happy 7 months to me!

A silly new post below too....just keeping it real here!

"Well you never know"

Lately, I've been told by many "well....you never know," in reference to the fact that sometimes a couple can have infertility problems the first time but then can subsequently have a surprise pregnancy.  And since we aren't preventing...well they are right, I guess we don't really know....stranger things have happened when two people get together on a regular basis ;).  On one hand, it is an encouraging and happy thought that it is possible that we could never have to find ourselves trying to conceive in a doctor's office again and would instead enjoy hearing the "you do know how that happens" comments.  But on the other hand, it means that I have to have this tiny little nagging thought in the back of my brain that it is possible that I could be pregnant or have two close together in age.  I don't think about it too much because I really feel that we will continue to have a difficult time conceiving (endometriosis/high fsh/poor ovulation), but at the same time we all know that God can do anything.  For my readers who have been with me from the beginning, you know how addicted I was/am to peeing on sticks.  If it wasn't an ovulation predictor kit test (by the way for those who are trying...answer ovulation test strips pack of 20 were my fav)...it was a pregnancy test way too early at like 8 days past ovulation.  I pretty much couldn't help myself and spent way too much money on tests.  Well I must confess that recently I had the urge again to take a test.  It just hit me all of a sudden in my bathroom because I've been dealing with frequent urination issues lately (mind automatically jumps to pregnancy instead of UTI!).  I searched and searched through my bathroom cabinets.  There were NO new tests (I know...shocking).  But I did find some positive pregnancy tests from when I found out I was pregnant with Henry (I can't throw them in the trash...they are too pretty to look at) so I did what any normal infertile person would do, and I peed on the old stick.  The second line didn't get any darker so I called it a negative and went about my day/week/month.  I just felt the need to get that off my chest so thanks for listening.  Hi my name is Courtney and I'm a POAS addict.

Remember This

I'm starting a new series of posts "Remember This" that are basically notes to myself to remember sweet things about Henry.  Feel free to skip these short posts or read along as Shaun and I might be the only ones that find these posts interesting


The first feeding of the day (still have a night feeding around 12 am and 5 am) is such a sweet time with Henry. He is full of giggles, squeals, and he wants to talk so he says dada to me like he is trying to tell me about his dreams.  He is almost too excited to eat because he is so excited about starting his day.  We sit in the rocking chair in his room next to the window, and I love how the sunlight hits his little face and beautiful eyes.    

Praying for a Little One--for Lisa

Go over to prayingforalittleone to read Lisa's story and leave a comment letting her know that you are praying for her.  I know it will mean a lot to Lisa to hear of perfect strangers taking a moment to pray for her.

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20

We did it!!

Henry made it an entire church service without the nursery workers paging me!  (if you don't know what I'm talking about see separation anxiety post below).  Well....maybe not an entire church service...I picked him up as soon as I could tell the sermon was coming to a close.  Another confession is that I lurked around the hall by the nursery, sat in an empty dark classroom, and then found myself walking outside around the church to the narthex so that I could even listen more closely.  I left the church service after the first two hymns because I just couldn't stomach the anxiety of thinking that Henry was losing it in the nursery, and I needed to know that he was okay.  Thank you all for the many wonderful suggestions and encouragement.  So what did we do? Well we skipped sunday school, put him down for his morning nap later so he would be fresh, packed a bottle of juice for comforting (mostly water--I know...don't give me the speech...he only had a little), and daddy helped with dropping off.  Henry and Dada also spent Saturday morning together picking up chicky breakfast and going to l.owes.  When I picked up Henry, you could tell that the sweet nursery workers were proud of themselves for keeping him happy the whole service (as they should be!).  They told me that he cried right at first when he was dropped off but that they were able to calm him down.  I know it couldn't have taken that long since I was snooping by song #3.  Oh the love I have for this little boy.  I really thought I couldn't possibly love him more when I first held him in my arms but approaching seven months the bond and love is just too much to even put into words.  Not saying this is the end of our nursery/babysitting problems but happy to see some progress!

Remember This

I'm starting a new series of posts "Remember This" that are basically notes to myself to remember sweet things about Henry.  Feel free to skip these short posts or read along as Shaun and I might be the only ones that find these posts interesting.

(There is another new post below as well so please give me your advice on that)

A couple times a week, Henry and I go to Shaun's work to either bring him lunch from home or take him out to lunch.  Today when we pulled in to Shaun's office, Henry started squealing with delight and throwing up his arms.  He was sooooo happy.  I was confused at first while all of a sudden he went from quiet to excited, but then it hit me that he actually knew we were going to see his daddy.  The building is really tall and is very distinguishable from other buildings around our area, and I guess he has started to figure out that his daddy is in the tall building during the day.  He kept his eyes locked on the front doors, and he could hardly contain his excitement.  When Shaun walked through the doors, his face lit up, and he squealed again with happiness.  It warms my heart so much to see the relationship that Shaun and Henry have already in just six months.  They really have a special father-son relationship.  So cute :)

Separation Anxiety

Henry is having a really hard time in church nursery these days.  I get paged EVERY Wednesday night and Sunday morning.  I rush as fast as I can to the nursery to find my little man crying this awful cry.  The only other times besides nursery that I've heard him cry like this is when he gets his shots so that should tell you how bad it sounds.  It is impossible for him to fall asleep in nursery because he is not used to tuning out other babies crying and bright lights so I thought his crying was just related to being overtired.  But this past Sunday, I got paged early in the service, and Henry was crying like crazy.  I picked him up and cuddled with him in a rocking chair, and he immediately started getting happy.  He was even smiling at the other nursery workers.  They have been telling me for weeks that he is spoiled, and they have been begging me to go back to work (it always cracks me up when they say that!).  I gave him back to a nursery worker, and he was being sweet and cuddling with her while I was in the room talking to them.  I decided to try to leave the room to see how he would react since he was calm and happy again.  They said he watched me the entire time I was leaving the room, and the moment I shut the door...he started screaming again.  I guess this confirmed for me that he is having some separation anxiety issues.  Part of me wants to just think that is the sweetest thing ever that he is upset because he doesn't have his mama, but the other part of me knows that it is best for him and for me to have a few moments away from each other.  I can count on one hand the amount of times I have left Henry (except for church nursery) always for a short amount of time and the amount of bottles he has taken on two hands.  We don't have any family in town, and it sure is a lot of money to hire a babysitter for the night, and I don't like to pump (excuses, excuses, excuses).  I know we need to start getting better about planning some dates and maybe some mommy time twice a month or so.  I have gotten pretty close to giving up on nursery for Henry and just keeping him with me at church, but I know he is going to have to go at some time so we might as well keep trying.  Tonight I'm going to just drop him off for ten minutes so that he can have some play time and maybe I will just try to increase that time from week to week.  Any advice on this??

 

For THIS Child I Prayed

Several months ago, I remember receiving a devotion from Sarah's Laughter (you can find more information about their ministry and even an online video chat support group here) about Hannah and the verse that this blog is based on 1 Samuel 1:27 "For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him."  The author of the devotion imagined that if we were able to hear Hannah speak those words that the emphasis would be on "this."  For this child I prayed.  All of the tears, all of the heartache, waiting, and prayers..it was for this child.  The moment that I saw Henry's face...I got it...I remember thinking, "I know you.  I've just been waiting for you."  For this little one we prayed.  I still remember the pain of infertility like it was yesterday, and I still process things through the lenses of infertility but I understand why I had to experience it now.  We were waiting for Henry.  I was just praying for A baby, but God wanted to give us Henry.  I desperately cried out for God to hurry up and give us A baby, but He knew all along that His plan was much greater than ours.  

For this little one we prayed...

and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him.

6 months....What??!!

So I know that I start pretty much every monthly update on Henry with "I can't believe he is...," but I really, really can't believe that my little buddy is six months old already.  A half of a year!  This was by far the fastest and sweetest six months of my life.  I just love him to bits.  I love the way his skin feels...the way he smells (his breath smells so sweet!)...the facial expressions he makes.  I just can't get enough of my sweet little boy.  This has been a huge month of development and changes for Henry.  He is growing up so fast!

Stats:

Weight- 18 lbs 14 ounces at six month checkup on Monday
75th percentile in height and weight
Size 3 diapers
Wearing size 6-9 months clothes but already starting to outgrow them!

Milestones:

Starting to speak in single consonants...mainly babababa but we have heard dada and mama in there somewhere :).  Love listening to him talk!

Sitting up with little if any support.  I love watching Henry sit and play.  He looks like such a big baby.  He is no longer content for long laying on his back to play.  He wants to be sitting up which requires mommy since he hasn't completely figured out yet that he can't throw himself back.  But I did setup the pack and play yesterday, and he really enjoyed sitting in a corner playing (yay!).
Fine Motor Development--This is where I've especially noticed a significant difference this month.  Henry is getting his hands on everything.  He can grab something so fast that I can't even get it before he has it in his hands.  He picks up small items...rakes or reaches for toys or paper or whatever he can find and transfers them easily from hand to hand.  His paci tricks are pretty impressive.  If his paci falls out in the crib next to his ear or on top of his head, he can reach back without looking and pop it back into his mouth.  It is so funny to watch him on the video monitor.  And he even kept stealing his little friend's toy at a super bowl party this weekend.  Hmmm...wonder what this means for when he is a toddler??!!

Stranger/separation anxiety-- I keep getting paged to calm Henry down in the nursery because he has started crying really, really hard, and they can't get him to stop.  We are working on trying to figure out a sunday and wed night routine that will hopefully prevent this from happening.  His cry is soooo sad...I never hear that cry when I'm around.  It is a very distinct--scared/in pain cry.

Tummy Time- Henry is starting to grunt a lot on his tummy because he wants to move.  He is sticking his butt in the air and starting to tuck his feet under his butt to try to scoot.
Eating- Breastfeeding is still going great.  He is super fast!  One thing that is new this month is that he has to keep his "free" hand busy the entire time he is nursing by touching my face, lips, grabing my nose, pulling my hair (ouch....trying to get him to stop that!)...it is precious.  I guess six months is when most people think it is normal to quit because I've had a lot of people asking me if I'm weaning lately.  My goal is still a year but of course we will just have to see how it goes.  The thought of quiting makes me really sad.  Henry loves solids, and we are now having a breakfast, lunch and dinner.  His favs are green beans, carrots (loves them), and applesauce.

Sleeping- Giving up the dreamfeed this week, and Henry is sleeping through the night now.  Naps are so much better this month thanks to the routine and CIO but if he gets overtired then forget it!! And I almost feel like he might be starting to go to two naps soon...is that possible?

Favorite Toys- Henry loves boxes and anything that doesn't look like a real toy lol.  He also loves his taggie ball and keys.

I have been blogging a lot in my head (does anyone else do that?) so I hope to have time to blog more soon.  Until then....here are some sweet pics from this month.

First time riding without the carrier in the big stroller...he loved it!

First time in the cart without the carrier...liked it for a little bit, but couldn't handle it for long.

First time in high chair

I can sit-up!

Henry loves his jumper saucer

Playing in the pack n play...he loves that book too!

My Big Boy

Oh how I'm enjoying this stage!  I finally feel like Henry and I have a little routine, and it feels great!  It seems like Henry is doing something new everyday, and Shaun and I can't get over how much we love him and how our love continues to grow daily.  Before I continue with a little update...here are a few fav pics of this stage....can't you tell already that he is such a little character?!

Henry can't sit-up on his own yet without a little support, but he enjoys playing in boxes in the meantime.

This is one of my favorite photos....He was playing with the duck, and I looked down to wash his feet, and this is what I saw when I looked up!!

And we are finally taking regular naps without putting up too much of a fight (as long as Mommy puts me to bed on time!).  Note:  I was washing his crib sheet that is why the other blanket is down.  And yes he sleeps with a blanket and a blankie for naps...scared me to death right at first but he sleeps better, and I still watch him carefully on the video monitor.  I also want to say that babywise works.  It took us a lot longer than most to get there, but it is sooooo great when I can tell that he needs a nap, give him a good squeeze, place him in his crib awake with all of his goodies, give him a kiss and say night night and he falls asleep!!

Teething- I can still tell that his bottom gums bother him at times, but I'm able to usually make him feel better with the OHTC combo--orajel, hylands teething tablets, tylenol, and chewing washcloth or teether.  I can't tell you what works...I just know that all of them combined make him happy so when I can tell they are bothering him (now only about once or so a day....I give him the combo).  No teeth sightings yet, but I do feel a little something when I rub his gums so maybe just maybe one will pop out soon!

Sleep Training- Yes maybe teething wasn't the best time to decide to do nighttime sleep training.  Call me a bad mom or whatever you want to call me because I couldn't take anymore.  Henry was acting like he was a newborn again waking every one to two hours, and I was feeding him every time he was waking (new mom mistake).  And this was going on for weeks before the teething started so it wasn't related.  Talked to his pediatrician, and he told me that I needed to stop feeding him at night and then gave me advice on letting him cry it out.  Well I didn't want to do it all at once since that would be a major shock so I started with one week of night weaning.  Instead of feeding him every time he woke up, I started not feeding him ONE feeding at a time per night.  I still would go give him his paci and pat him and then I left the room.  If he fussed (not hard crying), I just set a timer next to my night stand, and he never fussed more than a few minutes before falling back asleep.  This was hard, but at the same time it felt like parenting.  I knew it was best for Henry to be able to have a good night sleep and not rely on me (or my boob lol) every hour to sleep because that is not a restful sleep--believe me I know!!  I could tell that I was doing the weaning gradually enough because although my boobs were full...they weren't killing or hard.  Once I completely eliminated the night feedings, the next step was to not go into his room and let him cry it out.  I really, really didn't want to have to do this step.  I tried doing the baby whisperer method of picking the baby up just until they calm down and then putting them right back down (she would sometimes do this hundreds of times the first night), but it did NOT work and made Henry very upset.  So I finally listened to my pediatrician and my wise friends and stopped reading about how I was going to hurt him forever and just did it.  I thought about blogging so I would have a record for if/when we have another baby, but I didn't and now I can't remember the exact details.  All I know is that he never went past ten minutes with crying it out!  The first night he woke several times and every day after that he stopped waking as much.  Last night he slept without a peep until 5:45!  wooohooo!  I did feed him then, but I put him back in his bed to sleep a little longer.  One tradition/habit that we have started that Shaun and I both really like is that Henry gets tired of his bed during the 6 AM hour, and he really doesn't want to be in there any longer (can you blame him...that is almost 11 hours!).  So I go get him and put him in bed in between us so we can get another hour or so (we are 7ish AM people).  Henry is soooo cute.  He smiles at his daddy and then he stretches out his arms so he can touch both of us at the same time.  He pats his daddy's face and grabs my nose or whatever for a few minutes and then he just falls asleep...so sweet!  I really don't mind it because it is good quality family time (we watch daddy get ready for work), and so far it hasn't caused any problems with Henry sleeping in his crib for naps and nighttime sleep.     

So yes for me it took five months (almost six!!) to get a routine (and sleep!) and to feel like I'm back on my feet again and I'm okay with that.  The house is starting to get clean again.  I'm cooking every night of the week (major budget restrictions while we pay off these medical bills).  And most importantly, I'm just loving being a mommy to my sweet little big boy.  I ran into a friend of mine at a birthday party this weekend who also had a baby about six weeks after me.  When we first met, we hit it off talking non-stop about endometriosis and infertility treatments as we were both feeling alone and emotionally drained from treatments and waiting.  On Saturday, we talked about night waking, teething, breastfeeding and what miracles our little babies are to us.  She got her butt kicked by motherhood too so it was good to see that I wasn't alone.  I guess I just expected more out of my infertile self.  I thought I wouldn't skip a beat and that I would know exactly what to do.  I was/am prideful and thought that if God could just give me my baby that I wouldn't need any help after that.  I now find myself in constant prayer for my little one and for wisdom, strength, and energy to be a good mother and wife.   

Poor Guy :(

Thanks for all of the great teething advice!  Henry just got a dosage of tylenol (can't start motrin until 6 months--only a few more weeks), hylands teething tablets and orajel.  He is currently gnawing on a cold washcloth in his crib with his mobile entertaining him for a few minutes.  Today makes two weeks of the slight fever, fussiness, drooling, and chewing.  I think I saw some white starting to show through the gums on the bottom so I'm hoping this means the tooth/teeth will come out soon.  Even with being fussy most of the day, he still has his moments where his giggle box gets the best of him and those precious smiles and giggles make my day.  He really is a cutie even when he doesn't feel good.  I put the washcloth on his head because I think it makes him feel better with his "fever."  I don't care what the pediatrician office says 99 something is still a fever to me!  See Poor Mr. Henry below...

New post on prayingforalittleone....

Teething.

I had to laugh when I came upon this from the Dr. Sears' website today:
"Your beautiful five-month-old baby boy, who has been the most perfect little angel since birth, has suddenly turned into a cranky, fussy, drooling, chews-on- everything-in-site little monster! He is now keeping you up half the night, and needs to be held, bounced, and nursed all day long. Welcome to the wonderful world of TEETHING!"
We are coming up on two weeks now that Henry has been running a slight fever (pediatrician's office doesn't even technically call it a fever) and being a little fussy buddy.  The fever and the pain isn't all the time (thank goodness!), but even when he isn't screaming while touching his gums, the drooling and chewing speaks for itself.  It seems to bother him more in the afternoon/evening for some reason and especially when he is playing by himself.  The pain is making him more of a "needy" baby than he has ever been in the past, and he starts to fuss the moment I even think about leaving the room.  I know that some of the extra fussiness is probably just Henry's frustration of not being able to move yet and maybe some slight seperation anxiety, but I can also tell that teething has something to do with it too.  So how am I doing?  I have my moments.  It just makes me literally sick to see him in pain and sometimes by the end of a long day I feel very overwhelmed and  inadequate as a mom. Shaun will come home and spend every little bit of energy he has left giving Henry the happiest ten minutes of his day.  While I'm incredibly grateful for such a loving husband and daddy and for their precious relationship, it has (just being honest) made me question why I can't do that for Henry.  But Shaun has been so sweet to remind me that he can keep that energy level up for ten to fifteen minutes, but he couldn't do it all day long.  This week I'm trying not to feel guilty when Henry doesn't seem happy, and I'm instead just focusing on soothing him and being a good mommy.  This too shall pass and in the end two sweet little baby teeth will pop out, and I'm sure I will cry when that happens because it will just be another sign that my sweet boy is already growing up.

Encouraged.

Thank you so much to all of you who let me know you were reading during international de-lurking week.  It meant the world to me to hear from all of you.  I felt so discouraged after the below trip to Wal-Mart when I saw one of our sisters hurting, and I did nothing.  I prayed that if God wanted me to speak to her that He would give me the opportunity, but I struggled with why He would let me overhear her conversation if He didn't want me to speak with her.  After reading your comments, it is clear to me that God let me see the girl in the purple shirt so that He could encourage some of you who needed to know that you are not alone.  Some of you mentioned that you haven't shared your struggles yet with anyone in real life.  It really is such a hard decision of when and who to share infertility with because sometimes putting yourself out there can lead to some hurtful comments but at the same time, it is very hard to walk this journey alone.  If you aren't ready to share with those in real life (and only you and your husband will know when is the right time) know that there is an amazing support group in the infertility blogging community.  A good place to start is Stirrup Queens with her very well organized blogroll of the ALI (adoption, loss, infertility) community.  Your encouraging comments have made me start thinking and praying more about Praying for a Little One as I really would like to be able to continue to write about infertility.  More on that later...  

Dear Girl in the Purple Shirt

Dear Girl in the Purple Shirt at Wal-Mart,
You don't know me, but I couldn't help but overhear your phone conversation today with your mom.  I really didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you said estrogen really loud and words like that get my attention.  A progesterone level of 14 isn't the best, but it isn't nearly as bad as your gyn nurse made you think.  I don't know why they wanted it to be at least 18...pretty sure 16 was the "great" ovulatory number just last year.  I would be surprised if your dr already wants to up your dosage just based on that progesterone number.  I really wanted to say something to you, but you made absolutely no eye contact with me, and I don't blame you.  I was just another young "fertile" mom to you with a sweet baby asleep in my cart, and you were in too much pain to look.  I even heard you complain to your mom about how walmart has now changed their layout so that you have to walk right through the baby section to get anywhere.  I remember all too well avoiding "that" corner of walmart, and I really do understand why walking by something as simple as formula and baby food causes a lump in your throat on a bad day.  It was like baby was everywhere in the store (including this really adorable baby girl with a sheep coat on), and I felt terrible that I was part of causing you pain.  I really hope your miracle is coming soon and that one day you will be able to do something as simple as grocery shopping without feeling the pain.  I've been there, and I know how infertility follows you throughout your day. 
Love,
An Infertile Wal-Mart Shopper   

5 Months Old!

Look at those chunky cheeks!  Henry is growing like a weed, and he has changed so much in just one month.  I packed clothes for him to go to my parents for the holidays, and he completely grew out of them and his diapers in the two weeks that we were there!  I love my little buddy.  I have to hear at least one belly laugh a day--I call it my giggle quota.  Now for the stats....

Size:
I haven't gotten him weighed this month but I did step on the scale with him, and he is somewhere between 18 and 19 lbs.
Diapers--size 2 but we are going to need to move to size 3 as soon as we finish this little batch
Clothes--he is not out of 3-6 month clothes and already starting to fill out 6-9 month outifts.

Milestones:
Still not rolling over, but I know he can do it.  If I give him the slightest little help, he can roll over.  I honestly just don't think he has figured out yet that he can use it for transportation.
The biggest milestone I've noticed this month by far is his hand coordination.  He is reaching for everything in sight (including anything I have in my hands), and he can pass objects from one hand to the other.  We upgraded his pacis to 6 month size (thanks Mimi--I still had him in 0 month size) and now Henry enjoys showing off his paci tricks.  My favorite thing to do is to move the paci into his reach and watch him grab it and put it in his mouth.  He is sometimes successful with getting it in his mouth correctly but other times he just chews on the sides. 
Preference for toys- he is definitely starting to show that he likes some toys more than others.  He loves the little ducky in the picture above.
Talking- Henry loves to talk/scream especially with his daddy.  It always cracks me up and warms my heart to listen to all of the little sounds that he comes up with.  This morning, he woke up wanting to spit and talk at the same time, and he continued to do this all day long...so funny!
Henry is also starting to get upset when he sees me leave the room while he is playing during the day.  And he goes absolutely crazy over his daddy.  Here is their favorite activity by far....airplane.  Henry just squeals and squeals when Shaun starts the plane.

Sleeping and Eating:

Naptimes are so much better.  I've really worked on getting a nap routine this month, and Henry seems to be responding.  I have found that Henry and I both don't do well with strict crying it out so I do the Baby Whisperer method of going in just to settle him and then leaving.  I put his paci back...hand him his blankie...tuck his blanket around him and if he is very upset I hold my hand on his chest until he calms down...then I tell him night night and leave the room.

Nighttime- Well we have some good and bad as far as this month goes with night sleeping.  The good is that we have a great evening routine that is working for all of us.  Henry usually goes to bed around 7:30, and I try to stay pretty consistent with his bedtime.  The bad is that with moving up his bed time...I'm losing a little more sleep because his longest stretch is when I'm awake.  I'm trying not to feed as much at night, but I can still tell Henry is hungry so I'm working on trying to get him to eat more during the day.  I'm still hoping and praying that Henry will soon sleep through the night.  I'm getting up about 3-4 times a night and that is pretty much like a newborn ;).

Eating--Nursing is still going well.  We just have to have complete silence and usually a pretty dark or boring area to nurse.  I have also found that I need to feed him as soon as he wakes up without waiting no matter what time it is because he eats better when he is still a little sleepy.  Henry is adoring solid foods.  He gets pretty excited when I put his bib on him and open a jar of food.  I'm hoping he is going to continue being such a good little eater.   

On another note....this week is international de-lurking week.  There is nothing wrong with just reading and not commenting, but it would bring me so much joy to hear from who is reading out there.  How did you find my blog if you remember?  There is an option where you don't even have to log in to comment so feel free to use that option.  I lurk on many blogs without commenting myself so I completely understand if you have never commented before but it would just be so much fun to hear from all of you.  I know y'all are out there because I have a counter!  
    

Best Year of My Life

Last year, I was glad to say goodbye to 2008 with hope in my heart and my tummy for a great 2009.  And 2009 did not disappoint...it was by far the best year of my life.  Sure there were trials like bedrest for six weeks, but I only look back on that time with the fondest of memories. I absolutely loved being pregnant with Henry.  It was such a precious time.  And of course the highlight of this year and my life was the birth of Henry.  We just love him to pieces.  There are times where we just have to pinch ourselves because we can't believe that Henry is our son and how blessed we are to have him in our lives.  Shaun and I had a moment like that the other day riding in the car.  Shaun looked back in the rear view mirror, and Henry was completely out asleep (we have a mirror so we can see him).  "Just look at him," he said with obvious amazement in his voice.  I looked back and just took a moment to see him sitting there with his chunky cheeks asleep with his head over to one side.  I can't describe the joy that filled my heart.

This year might have been full of trials for you.  It could have been the worst year of your life (like my 2008), but rest in the knowledge that we serve a most faithful and sovereign God.  Our timing isn't always His timing, but His timing is always perfect.  2009 wouldn't have been so sweet without the trials of 2007 and 2008.  So I raise my glass to all of you my sweet readers who have been there through the good and bad and who have treated me (a complete stranger!) as one of your good friends.  Praying that 2010 will be a most precious year for all of you!

Never Say Never

The first four months of motherhood have been the most challenging and rewarding time of my life.  It is hard to put into words the joy that I feel in my heart when Henry giggles with me or even just looks up at me with such a deep serious look on his face.  I'm so in love. But it is hard to believe what a huge transition having him in our lives has been for us even when we waited and prayed so long for him.  I thought I was "prepared" and that surely since we went through all of the infertility treatments and emotional pain that the actually having a baby part of this journey would be easy.  I was wrong.  Before I continue, let me be completely clear that suffering (and yes I do believe it was suffering) through infertility was definitely the hardest part.  It was a daily/hourly/minute by minute constant struggle and life consuming trial.  It is just that my perception/dreams of how it was going to be and actual reality...well there is a big difference between the two.  I listened and watched as mothers around me would say and do things, and the thought would pop in my head..."oh I would never do that."  Or "it is not going to be like that for me because all I want more than anything is sleepless nights." So many things that I said or thought that I would never do...I have done.  I no longer give advice to friends with older babies than Henry as I get that I really have absolutely no concept of what awaits me in a few weeks let alone in a few months.  So for everyone's entertainment...here is just a little sample of the never say never lessons learned.
-never will i ever breastfeed in public--let's see where has henry eaten?  restaurants, park benches, backseat of my honda, underneath cape at the hair salon, parties...my personal fav...in the waiting room of a car repair shop while the repairman discusses repairs with me.  I do attempt to cover up though!
-never will i ever leave a shirt on that is drenched with spitup--daily occurence.  I have also abandoned burp cloths...my shirt and hands are so much easier.
-never will i ever let my baby cry it out--as much as I hate this...it actually does work.
-never will i ever put my baby in bed with me (too dangerous!/also hurts sleep training mentioned above)_...I do it all of the time.
-never will i ever get mad at my baby--I know it is hard to believe how I could ever get mad at such a sweet little guy but it is possible when sleep deprivation takes its toll.
-never will i ever still be getting up several times a night at four months--haha.
And there are sooooo many more where that came from!  So grateful for the opportunity to learn these lessons the hard way.

Yawn.

I'm exhausted.  Soooo tired and no matter how much sleep I get...I can't seem to feel better.  I finally broke down today and went to the doctor.  Dr ran a thyroid and CBC that they will get back on Monday.  Apparently there are several postpartum thyroid conditions so dr wants to rule those out.  Will keep y'all posted!

4 Months Old!

4 Month Update!

Stats: 

75th percentile in height and weight...16lbs 2 ounces, mainly still in size 3-6 months, size 1-2 diapers (need to move up as soon as we are done with our big box from Sams!)

Milestones: 

Almost rolling over!  He completely moves his body all the way over except for the last little bit so he could probably do it any day now.
Laughing- He has been doing a short giggle for weeks now, but Henry is starting to belly laugh, and I don't think I've ever heard a more precious sound in my entire life.  Shaun found a spot this morning (right under his chin on his neck) that gets him to laugh just about every time.  I'm very excited about this!

Hands- Starting to grab objects and check them out.  Still putting his hands in his mouth every chance he gets.

Kick, Kick, Kick- Henry still loves to kick, and he can kick very hard.  He has actually hurt me a couple
times.

Talking- Henry is still a very talkative baby and a good listener.

Favorites:

Music and Singing- I sing to him all of the time, and he smiles and coos every time.  My favorite song to sing to him is "I've Got My Baby" by Fatih Hill (post with lyrics coming soon).  I also have two songs that I've made up called "I Love My Baby" and "It's bath time or It's nap time."  Henry loves music!  If he is a little fussy, a little music usually makes him stop and his eyes light up.

Daddy Time- Henry LOVES his daddy.  They play airplane and make silly noises.  He gets a big smile on his face when Shaun gets home from work, and he follows him around the room with his eyes.
Favorite Toy- A little blue dinosaur that plays music

Sleeping and Eating:

Naps- We've been doing some major sleep training for naps (babywise) around here the past week, and I can't believe the difference it has made in our days.  I never thought I would be able to let him cry it out, but he made the decision easy for me because he was crying hard while I was holding him before every nap.  So I had the choice to either try to bounce and rock him to sleep every nap while he screamed or I could lay him in his crib and let him fuss a little before falling to sleep.  I figured out after looking back at some babywise info and this awesome blog that Henry's awake time was too long and that he was getting overtired which was causing him to fight his sleep and only take short naps.  Once I started putting him in his crib at the right time, there was much less crying and longer naps.  For my records, current awake time is only an hour for the first morning nap and somewhere between an 1:15-1:30 for the rest of the day.
Night Sleep- Don't even get me started!  We are experiencing the "four month sleep regression," and it hasn't been easy.  Currently, I'm waking up about 3-4 times a night to comfort or feed Henry.  Here is a link with more info.  We will be working on this soon once we get our days straight!  Henry's doctor thinks the nightwaking is Henry asking for more calories so we are also starting solids.

Eating- Henry says, "Shhhhh Mommy!  I'm trying to eat here, and I want complete silence."  Henry has become a very distracted eater so I'm having to feed him in silence and sometimes in a dark room.

Starting solids- We started Henry on rice cereal mixed with applesauce in a jar last night, and he LOVED it.  He just kept kicking his little legs in delight.  It was soooo fun!  But a little sad for me because from now on I won't be his only source of food.

Summary:  I can already tell that this is a great age!  We are starting to get into a routine which is nice.  I'm really enjoying motherhood, and I'm starting to feel a little more settled into my new role.  Henry is adorable, and he needs to stop growing up so fast!

P.S.  Y'all were right about Shout--it is the best at getting out poop stains!  I have the best readers!  And feel free to give me some advice on this nightwaking!

Baby It's Cold Outside

It snowed here in Mississippi last night!  When it snows in Mississippi, it is a HUGE deal.  Everyone stops what they are doing and goes outside to watch the snow.  Shaun and I were actually out on a date (thanks to our friends Jessica and Jay for keeping Henry) when the snow started coming down and everyone was freaking out at the restaurant (including us!).  Here is a pic of us enjoying the snow before getting some coffee (not the best picture of us but still it was SNOWING!).  We love the song "Baby It's Cold Outside," and we have memorized all of the words because we are dorks so we sang the song while driving around with the snow...so much fun!

And the best part about it is that it stuck (another huge deal) so we got to show Henry his first snow this morning.  We love his new hat :)

(yes my husband is hot...he lost 25 lbs of baby weight so far)

What a Difference...

a year can make!  This was me last Thanksgiving...the day we found out we were pregnant!  (yes I took that many tests...actually I took more)

Thanksgiving Day 2009

A Year Ago

On this day a year ago, Shaun and I went to our fertility clinic for our 4th IUI attempt.  I can still remember how I felt as we drove through all of the morning traffic to get to the clinic.  I was trying so incredibly hard to be relaxed, but I was a mess.  We were running late (you can't really rush the important part!) and so many thoughts were running through my head that all I knew to do was to hold on as tight as I could to that plastic cup.  After dropping off the sample, we had a nice breakfast together as we always did for our IUIs and then it was time to get back to the clinic.    

Here I am on the table waiting for "the guys" to travel looking so hopeful after Shaun prayed for a miracle (one of our many IUI traditions).

We prayed for a miracle, and a miracle did happen that day.  God created Henry.  And just a year later, I'm sitting here listening to him snooze in his swing.  I'm just amazed.

During the two week wait last year I wrote this:

Recently, I’ve been thinking about our happy ending. I know we are going to be parents. God has an amazing plan for our lives, and I have faith that He will give us children. And when that day comes, when we finally hold our baby in our arms, I know we will look back in amazement at how He has provided. If I tried to write my fairy tale story now, it would not even begin to compare to the story my Heavenly Father has written for me.



For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

It hurt to write those words last year.  As hopeful as I sounded, I was drowning in a sea of doubt.  I was desperately trying to cling to God's promises but even as I wrote that post I struggled to believe what I was typing.  But now I do look back in amazement at the story God has written for us.  And it is definitely way better than I ever could have written. 

Oh Poop!

Henry is breastfed exclusively, and we are constantly dealing with blow out mustard (yuck!) diapers.  When I hear him start, I immediately grab a receiving blanket to wrap around him to try to avoid getting the poop on me (mostly unsuccessful) and probably 95% of the time some of it gets on his clothes.  We have a big celebration at the changing table on the rare occasions that it actually stays in his diaper.  Those poop stains are tough to get out of clothes!  I immediately rinse the poop off of his clothes in the sink, and I even use my hands to try to get all of the poop off (I know....gross!).  Sometimes the oxiclean stain remover spray works...sometimes it doesn't.  I just got the powder version that I'm going to try to use immediately after a poop in a bucket of water in the tub.  Should I use cold or hot??  Come on girls...I know y'all have some tips.  Pass them on!

Also, wanted to add to Henry's 3 month post that Mr. Henry has now found his feet and his hands.  I wasn't sure when I wrote the post if he found his hands or not, but I now know for sure he has because he grabs my hair every time I pick him up (I LOVE this), and he uses his hands a lot during nursing now.  A couple days ago, he found his feet.  Now whenever I help him sit on my lap, he looks down at his feet with a confused look on his face and grabs his feet.  He also is rubbing his feet together.  Last night, I was brushing my teeth, and Shaun was holding Henry, and I could hear Shaun trying to tell me something, but I had no idea what he was saying because the water was running.  When I came to see what all the fuss was about, Shaun was so excited because Henry was playing with his feet for "forever."  So cute!

It seems that all of these recent discoveries have made Henry less interested in eating.  He would much rather kick, talk, look around.  It kinda makes me nervous because he is eating so quickly that I can hardly believe he is getting enough.  And he is spitting up SO much more.  I had my daily call to his nurse yesterday, but their suggestion was pumping with rice cereal.  And I don't want to do that!  I keep trying to put him to the boob, and he will eat for a little, but then he pulls off and talks.  I had him weighed yesterday, and he gained 10 ounces in 2 weeks, which they said was just fine for three months.  Any advice on this as well??!

3 Months!

I'm going to try not to say this at the beginning of every Henry update, but time is flying!  I can't believe my sweet boy is already 3 months old!  My love grows deeper and deeper for him every day.  I thought I already loved him as much as possible when he was placed on my chest three months ago.  But right now as I type this post, he is snuggled up next to me snoring, and it is hard to put in words how much I love him.  Henry is already such a little boy!  He woke up on Saturday morning (which was officially three months), and he discovered somehow in his dreams the night before that he could make really loud noises.  I brought him into bed with us, and he started out just talking and then all of a sudden...he started making squeals and loud noises and was obviously entertained by himself.  Shaun and I kept looking at each other and cracking up.  It was such a special moment for me.  While we were going through treatments, I would sometimes daydream about Shaun and me cuddling and talking to our baby in our bed on a Saturday morning.  And there we were...enjoying our Mr. Adorable, and it was even better than I dreamed.

Some fun facts about Henry at 3 Months:

• Henry LOVES to watch me brush my teeth.  I discovered this one day when I got out of the shower, and he was crying.  I was in a hurry to get ready so I started to brush my teeth and ran across the house to check on Henry.  He immediately went from crying to smiling.  I thought it was just a coincidence, but it has worked without fail numerous times.  It cracks him up!  I'm not sure if it is the fact that Mommy has white foam coming out of her mouth or the sound or movement, but he loves it.
• Henry is a very happy baby.  After he eats, we always have awake time, and he is all smiles.  As I've mentioned before he has several different smiles, but my favorite is his crooked grin.  And those dimples!!  
• About an hour and fifteen minutes into awake time (almost to the second)--he is done, and it is time for a nap!  But Mr. Henry doesn't like naps, and he definitely fights them.  I'm sure there will be a post about that soon :)
• Henry loves his daddy.  They've had some great bonding time over the last two weeks, and I love watching them together.  When I got home from a baby shower this weekend, Henry was propped up in a boppy pillow sitting on the couch with his hand on Shaun looking at the computer with him.  Henry looked so old...it was hilarious!  Shaun has also started giving Henry airplane rides all of the time, and Henry loves it!  I need to get a video of that soon.
• Kick, kick, kick!  Henry enjoys kicking so much.  He kicks every chance he gets! 

      

Healthy! (knock on wood)

We took Henry to the dr on Friday since he develped a fever after I had the flu.  I did not like this doctor at all (our usual ped was off on Friday).  I felt like I had to pull information out of her, and she didn't seem to know what she was doing.  Henry's swine flu test came back negative, but she said we could give him tamiflu, but she wasn't sure what to do.  Apparently they have authorized some emergency dosages of tamiflu for babies as young as 3 months.  I did not feel comfortable at all giving him tamiflu because from what I have read they typically don't give it to babies younger than a year old.  I just felt like she wasn't researched or confident at all.  We absolutely adore our ped so maybe I was just comparing her to him.  The good news is though that Henry's fever was gone yesterday, and he seems to be doing great!  Thank you for all of your prayers of protection over our sweet little guy.  I was going to be a disaster if he had it because I know how bad I felt.

Henry is such a little character already.  We just got out this baby einstein play tunnel out for him (got it as a baby present), and he adores it!  He kicks so hard and just looks around at all of the toys and pictures.  Shaun calls it his "man cave" lol.  He loves his daddy and especially enjoys when his dad plays the guitar for him.  Henry has several different smiles, but my favorite is when he smiles and turns his head like he is being shy.  It is precious!!  We have enjoyed being stuck at the house all together for five days.  We really needed this down time.  I hope to post some new pics and video soon so stay tuned!      

Henry might have it too...

waiting for a call back from the dr.  He has a fever, and he is fussy.  Will update when I can...I've been praying so hard that this wouldn't happen.

This post is brought to you by the swine flu

Finally have time to blog...just wish it was under better circumstances. I'm starting to feel better today as this is day 3 in bed with the swine flu. Yesterday was the worst as I couldn't keep anything down. I will spare y'all the details, but just take my word for it and get the shot. Shaun has been absolutely wonderful. He went in to work yesterday morning, but I think he could tell that I wasn't going to make it without him so he came home at lunch to take care of Henry, and he is working from home today as well. Henry is happy and doesn't have a fever so we are just praying he doesn't get it. I'm still breastfeeding to make sure he gets my antibodies, but we did have to supplement with a little formula last night since I wasn't making enough milk because I was completely dehydrated from hugging the toilet. I was really anxious about giving him formula, but he seemed to tolerate it well. And he slept through the night! I don't think he has done that since I last blogged (note to self: might need to stop blogging when he sleeps through the night). He usually has a quick 4 AM feeding.

The last thing I want this blog to turn into is all of the happy with no honesty about what is really going on in our lives. It was much easier to write my true feelings during infertility...call it survivor guilt or whatever you would like, but it is much harder for me to be "real" now. So here is my first attempt at telling it like it is...

The first seven weeks of Henry's life were incredibly hard. I know that some of my friends and family might have thought I had postpartum depression, but I was really just sleep deprived. There were nights that I only got ten to fifteen minutes of sleep at a time. I did it by myself because I didn't want Shaun to lose sleep and then have to work a long day at the office. Those few weeks were some of the hardest in my life. And I felt incredibly guilty for feeling that way. I had my precious little healthy miracle, but I was a complete disaster. If I had to give anyone with a new baby advice it would be this...throw everything you just read during your pregnancy out the window for the first eight weeks! If the only way you can get sleep or a nap is to hold them...then do it. If the baby needs a car ride to calm down or fall asleep...take one. If anyone offers to come hold your baby while you nap...go ahead and schedule a time that works for them. Just do what works because they are too young to know the difference. This is what my friends tried to tell me, but I didn't listen. I thought I would cause sleep problems. But around 8 weeks (from my experience and what I've heard from others) no matter what you do, it gets better. Of course we had trush and reflux so that was part of the reason it was so bad, but he really started sleeping so much better.

My other confession is that this has been a hard time in our marriage. I never knew it would be so difficult. We've always been such a great team that I really didn't anticipate having much of a transition. Part of what was/is making it so hard is Shaun's work schedule. For the past four weeks, he has been working long nights and weekends on a huge, stressful project (tons and tons of overtime). When he would finally get home from work, I was ready to hand Henry off to him for diaper changes and holding, and he was so tired that he really couldn't deal with a crying baby. I guess I felt like I was working all day/night too and that I deserved a little break. Looking back now, I realize that I was being way too hard on Shaun. We were both just exhausted, and it didn't help to come home to a winey wife. When we finally had time together, we just weren't in sync. He didn't know what Henry needed or what I needed for him because he hadn't been around. With all of that said, the past two days have been great. Shaun has gotten to catch up on some much needed father/son bonding time while being an incredible caregiver to me. It almost makes me a little thankful for the flu :) (okay not really), but I think it has helped get us back on the same wavelength.

What a Big Boy!

Last night at 10:30, I put down a wide awake little Henry in his crib. We said our prayers, and he smiled at me like he was ready to play. I turned on his mobile without sound...kissed his forehead and walked out of his room. I woke up around 3 surprised that he dropped the 1 AM feeding for the third night in a row and watched the monitor for a few seconds to watch his belly move up and down. Next thing I knew...it was 6:30! I quickly looked at the monitor to see Henry still sleeping and sucking his thumb. My boobs were killing! They were hard as rocks! I even made Shaun put his hand on them to feel them lol. So I got up and pumped so it wouldn't be too hard for Henry to nurse. Henry woke up at 6:45!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a big boy! I was one proud Mama, and I was happy, happy, happy to get Henry out of his crib. I just made the biggest fuss over him, and he was kinda like..."okay mom...enough already...all I want to do is eat...what is the big deal?!" I realize that it will probably be some time before this happens every night, but I'm so encouraged! So for those sleep deprived moms that will arrive to this post via google in the future...here is what I think is helping his sleep.
1. Reflux is better now with meds...Just got treated for thrush...and elimination of dairy from my diet. He seems to just be feeling better overall!
2. Cluster feedings in the evening- he wants to eat often, and I let him! He stays on me most of the evening (or at least it feels like it!)
3. Bedtime routine- bath and changing clothes plus putting him in his sleep sack
4. Thumb sucking!!- just in the last week or so, he has started really sucking his thumb to self-soothe. This is huge!
5. Pumped bottle- Shaun also gave him a bottle of pumped milk...I feel like my supply can't keep up with his need in the evenings!
6. Babywise daytime routine- eating approx every 3 hours and a eat, wake, sleep routine. I've also started a morning routine...we start the day around 7, and I pull back all of the curtains/turn on a bunch of lights and sing the Good morning song and lots of talking!
7. Henry's age and weight- 9 weeks and 12 lbs 6 ounces or so

In other Henry news not related to sleep... just in the last week or so, Henry has really started to smile a bunch (love it!). It is getting easy to make him smile now. And he loves to talk and make eye contact. We have really deep conversations. I'm really loving being his mommy. For those of you still waiting...I promise it is worth it.

New post on prayingforalittleone!

Two Months Old!

I was on facebook yesterday looking at pictures of Henry as a newborn, and I can't believe how much he has changed. He is a big boy! Okay he really isn't that big still, but he doesn't look like a tiny little newborn baby anymore. I can't believe how fast he is growing before my eyes. I have only been away from him for like 30 minutes one time about a month ago so it is hard to notice the changes as much until I look back at pictures. Henry's new hair is already growing fast in the front so I know it won't be long until he has a head full of hair again. His eyelashes are super long (yay! I'm hoping this means he has his dad's adorable eyelashes), and I'm starting to feel extra fat in his chest and thighs :). We have our 8 week checkup tomorrow so I can't wait to see how much he weighs. Henry is starting to show us more of his sweet little personality. This morning at a 6 AM feeding I was exhausted from a long night, Henry was just eating away when all of a sudden he pulled off looked up at me and smiled. And the smiles continued along with precious baby talk. Oh it just melted my heart! It was as if he just wanted to tell me how happy he was to be eating and that it was morning time. Just that one minute of sweetness made any screaming the night before completely worth it.

As I mentioned above, tomorrow is our 8 week checkup, and I hope our doctor is ready for a million questions! We haven't seen him in over six weeks, and I have a lot to ask about with Henry's reflux and sleep problems. Before I list all of the things I'm going to ask about (using my blog to think this through!), I want to thank all of the mothers who have left encouragement about reflux, thrush, and sleep problems....it really means a lot and all of your thoughts have been very helpful!

Okay my list...feel free to comment with suggestions!

Reflux:
--Saw improvement with Axid, but still not sure that it is much better. Henry is still waking frequently in between feedings, and he is sometimes wet from spitup when I go to comfort him.

Spit-up is thick like it has been in the stomach, goes through nose sometimes (poor little man), projectile several times (completely freaked me out--pretty sure he lost close to his entire meal)

Worst time of day is from 8:30 to 10:30 PM not sure if this is reflux related or just typical newborn fussiness.

Sleep:
Still waking frequently between feedings…again sometimes wet from spitting up…but calms down immediately if I pick him up. Also tried paci and patting without picking him up. He will calm down easily either way, but he is awake again crying usually within a few minutes.

Going down for sleep- seems to really fight going down at night. Doesn’t matter if we put him to bed still awake, dreaming or a deep sleep…usually wakes up within minutes of laying him down on back in crib. And he is not a happy camper!
Any suggestions??!!

Still feeding about every 2-3 hours at night, but doesn't seem to be eating much before he falls asleep. Comfort nursing? He can't be getting very much!

Stool:
Foamy Stool—do we need to be concerned about it? What causes it?
Stool on average three times a day—is this too much? (typically explosive)

Milk Protein Allergy:
Is there a way to test for this?
In the meantime...I've eliminated dairy (for the most part) from my diet

Thrush:
Currently being treated for thrush from our breastfeeding doctor. I'm on difflucan daily for two weeks, and Henry is getting his tounge scrubbed with a qtip after every feeding with nystatin (he likes this by the way--super cute)

Extra info for y'all-- We are on a baby wise routine with feedings every 2 hrs and 30-45 minutes. Feedings last about 30 to 40 minutes. First feeding of the day around 7 AM, and I try to put him in bed at 7 PM for night but he fights it the entire time. Shaun and I take turns going in to calm him down for that feeding and then I'm on my own for the rest of the night!

How about a pic of mr. henry?

The Postpartum Appt of Two Infertiles

Also posted on prayingforalittleone

At my postpartum visit this week another new mom in the waiting room saw that I just had Henry and decided to strike up a conversation with me. We talked about feeding and sleeping schedules and all of the typical newborn mom small talk, but as we were talking I couldn't help but notice another woman sitting close by and her body language as she listened to our conversation. I cringed as the new mom talked about how "weird it was to be at the clinic without being pregnant" and many other comments that I knew would have hurt me if I had overheard them a year ago when I was at the gyn for my annual in the middle of fertility treatments. The woman nearby was flipping through a magazine and cringing every time I was cringing. I tried to tell myself that I was just imagining things, but when I saw her obviously make a face when the lab tech said, "see you next year." I knew she was struggling with infertility. I decided that if anyone said anything about Henry while I was waiting for bloodwork that I would say something so that she could be encouraged or she could talk to me if she wanted. The lab tech that I had for what felt like a million appointments during the pregnancy started ooing and aahing over Henry so I took the opportunity to say, "he really is a miracle." She started talking about how all babies are miracles once you learn what can go wrong and then I replied that every baby is for sure a miracle once you realize all that has to happen. Immediately my infertile friend spoke up (took the bait!)..."did you have to do fertility treatments to get pregnant?" I couldn't believe I was actually right about her! But it turns out I was only partially right. She did previously struggle with infertility, but she was there for a postpartum appointment. She had to do IVF to get pregnant with her first, but then had two surprise pregnancies so she has her hands full now with three under three! After she made sure to tell me to be careful (that advice went in one ear and out the other-no birth control for us!), we discussed infertility treatments like we were old friends. I know infertility is common and that I could have just made a lucky guess, but there was something about her body language. She heard things the way I heard them. She was sitting there with three babies at home, but infertility changed her just like it changed me. We can't sit there and hear "see you next year" and not think about the poor girl that is there for her yearly and praying that it is not another year before she makes it back to the clinic again. Our prayers were answered...we have our miracles, but going through infertility will forever change us.

Already Seven Weeks??!!

I've been planning all week to write a post called "Already Six Weeks??!!," and now that I have time to actually sit down and write...my little love bug is seven weeks!! I have a lot to catch all of you up on so I will start with the fun stuff and then I will give an update on everything else.
Henry has really started to smile, and it is just precious. Oh it just makes my day! I can't wait to get a picture of him smiling because it is soooo cute. I realize that I'm partial, but it is a really big somewhat elvis smile with dimples...I mean how could it be any cuter? He is also getting to be such a big boy...11 lbs 4 ounces at our doctor appointment today (more about that below). My mom helped me realize this past week that it was time to move on from the newborn clothes. Once again...I was in denial...she pointed out to me that his sleeves were now three quarter length, his hand hardly fit through the hole, and I was having to pull on his onesies to even get the snaps closed. We have now moved up to 0-3 months, and I don't think we are even going to get to wear them for very long since I squeezed him into newborns for so long. Henry has also lost almost all of his hair on the top of his head. I was giving him a comb over for as long as I could, but now there is nothing left to comb. I can already see where the new hair is coming in so I know it won't be long until I can comb his hair again, but I miss not being able to give him a little boy hairstyle. One of things I love to do is to lay him on my belly for tummy time and watch him lift his head to look at me. He started out being such a mr. bobblehead doll, but now he is getting to where he can hold his head up and remain pretty still for a few moments.

Now for the update...I'm going to be honest...it has been a rough couple of weeks. Henry's reflux was bothering him so badly that he wasn't even sleeping very much at night. I finally came to my breaking point about a week ago. After some major crying, I broke down and called my mom and asked her if she wanted to come to Mississippi or if she wanted me to come to Alabama. We decided that it would be best for me to come to my mom and dad's house (aka henry's mimi and pops). My house is so small that if Henry was crying, I would still be wide awake listening to him cry even if my mom was taking care of him in the other room. I packed us both up in less than an hour and hit the road! Shaun was okay with us leaving because he knew I needed some sleep, and he couldn't give me the help I needed since he has to work. I was so sleep deprived by the time I got to my parents house that I could hardly talk. I would start to say something, but I couldn't finish a thought...my brain was NOT working. Mom and Dad later told me that we both looked pretty rough. I hate to hear that Henry was looking ill, but I know he wasn't doing well since he wasn't sleeping. Zantac did not work for us so my nurse called in Axid, and we started Henry on his first dosage the first night at my parents. We also started putting Henry to sleep on his side (I'm sorry but he wasn't sleeping on his back so what am I supposed to do??) on am inclined sleep positioner. And I stopped eating and drinking dairy...I had a milk allergy when I was little so it is likely that Henry has one. Mom slept next to him and came to get me when it was time to feed. It was absolutely wonderful to finally get some sleep. Mom also fixed and brought to me all of my meals and drinks...it was fabulous. Pops was also a great help with Henry and could get him to fall asleep on his chest. We affectionately called him the baby whisperer. By the end of the week, we all saw a major improvement in Henry. I think the medicine is definitely helping, and hopefully the not eating/drinking dairy is too (way harder than I thought it would be). We are definitely not there yet, but the fact that Henry is sleeping in between some feedings at night is a major improvement. We are all praying for him, and we know that God is answering our prayers and giving us wisdom and good ideas to help Henry to feel better. One of those ideas came from a fellow blogger (sorry I don't have time to look back to see who it was) who mentioned thrush as a possibility. I looked up the symptoms, and it sounded like we had that too! The main symptoms we have is a painful letdown, Henry pulling off the boob during feedings, and he has a white patch on the center of his tongue (it was always there, but I thought it was milk--whoops!). We went to our breastfeeding doctor today, and she was able to take a look at my nipples and Henry's white patch to confirm that we do have thrush. For those of you who don't know thrush is a yeast infection that is passed back and forth between the mother and baby during breastfeeding. Poor Henry has an itchy tongue on top of everything else, and the yeast could be causing him to have an upset tummy (which would explain the foamy poop). He is not going to know what to do with himself when he is no longer in pain from reflux, a dairy allergy and thrush! We will both be treated together for meds the next two weeks and hopefully our yeast problem will go away soon!!

I can't post on September 24th without taking a moment to remember what happened on this day two years ago. Two years ago I was told on an ultrasound table that my sweet baby no longer had a heartbeat. I can still remember the face on the ultrasound tech, the exact layout of the room...pretty much everything about that day. Shaun met me at the house with bbq takeout, tons of snacks (I think he was afraid I wasn't going to eat) and pads (he knew I was bleeding heavily). We cried for a long time. One of the snacks Shaun happened to buy at the store was cashews. He offered some to me, and I started to cry again..."they look like a little baby fetus." I looked up at him, and we both started to laugh hysterically. I still can't look at a cashew without smiling. I think we went right back to crying again after our laughing, but it was a good break from all of the sadness of the day. September 25th (which is now today considering it is 1 AM) is actually the day that I consider the anniversary of my loss because it was the day of my D&C surgery. It is very hard to explain this feeling unless you have experienced it, but I didn't really feel like she was gone until I woke up from surgery realizing she was no longer inside of me. Two years later as I'm holding my sweet baby boy on my chest, the hurt is still there. It doesn't sting the same, but it is still there. I no longer get a lump in my throat when I see the two little girls that I know that were born around her due date, but I do feel a little sadness. Baby Faith was a miracle from God, and I consider myself blessed to be able to carry her even if it was for such a short time.