I've been planning all week to write a post called "Already Six Weeks??!!," and now that I have time to actually sit down and write...my little love bug is seven weeks!! I have a lot to catch all of you up on so I will start with the fun stuff and then I will give an update on everything else.
Henry has really started to smile, and it is just precious. Oh it just makes my day! I can't wait to get a picture of him smiling because it is soooo cute. I realize that I'm partial, but it is a really big somewhat elvis smile with dimples...I mean how could it be any cuter? He is also getting to be such a big boy...11 lbs 4 ounces at our doctor appointment today (more about that below). My mom helped me realize this past week that it was time to move on from the newborn clothes. Once again...I was in denial...she pointed out to me that his sleeves were now three quarter length, his hand hardly fit through the hole, and I was having to pull on his onesies to even get the snaps closed. We have now moved up to 0-3 months, and I don't think we are even going to get to wear them for very long since I squeezed him into newborns for so long. Henry has also lost almost all of his hair on the top of his head. I was giving him a comb over for as long as I could, but now there is nothing left to comb. I can already see where the new hair is coming in so I know it won't be long until I can comb his hair again, but I miss not being able to give him a little boy hairstyle. One of things I love to do is to lay him on my belly for tummy time and watch him lift his head to look at me. He started out being such a mr. bobblehead doll, but now he is getting to where he can hold his head up and remain pretty still for a few moments.
Now for the update...I'm going to be honest...it has been a rough couple of weeks. Henry's reflux was bothering him so badly that he wasn't even sleeping very much at night. I finally came to my breaking point about a week ago. After some major crying, I broke down and called my mom and asked her if she wanted to come to Mississippi or if she wanted me to come to Alabama. We decided that it would be best for me to come to my mom and dad's house (aka henry's mimi and pops). My house is so small that if Henry was crying, I would still be wide awake listening to him cry even if my mom was taking care of him in the other room. I packed us both up in less than an hour and hit the road! Shaun was okay with us leaving because he knew I needed some sleep, and he couldn't give me the help I needed since he has to work. I was so sleep deprived by the time I got to my parents house that I could hardly talk. I would start to say something, but I couldn't finish a thought...my brain was NOT working. Mom and Dad later told me that we both looked pretty rough. I hate to hear that Henry was looking ill, but I know he wasn't doing well since he wasn't sleeping. Zantac did not work for us so my nurse called in Axid, and we started Henry on his first dosage the first night at my parents. We also started putting Henry to sleep on his side (I'm sorry but he wasn't sleeping on his back so what am I supposed to do??) on am inclined sleep positioner. And I stopped eating and drinking dairy...I had a milk allergy when I was little so it is likely that Henry has one. Mom slept next to him and came to get me when it was time to feed. It was absolutely wonderful to finally get some sleep. Mom also fixed and brought to me all of my meals and drinks...it was fabulous. Pops was also a great help with Henry and could get him to fall asleep on his chest. We affectionately called him the baby whisperer. By the end of the week, we all saw a major improvement in Henry. I think the medicine is definitely helping, and hopefully the not eating/drinking dairy is too (way harder than I thought it would be). We are definitely not there yet, but the fact that Henry is sleeping in between some feedings at night is a major improvement. We are all praying for him, and we know that God is answering our prayers and giving us wisdom and good ideas to help Henry to feel better. One of those ideas came from a fellow blogger (sorry I don't have time to look back to see who it was) who mentioned thrush as a possibility. I looked up the symptoms, and it sounded like we had that too! The main symptoms we have is a painful letdown, Henry pulling off the boob during feedings, and he has a white patch on the center of his tongue (it was always there, but I thought it was milk--whoops!). We went to our breastfeeding doctor today, and she was able to take a look at my nipples and Henry's white patch to confirm that we do have thrush. For those of you who don't know thrush is a yeast infection that is passed back and forth between the mother and baby during breastfeeding. Poor Henry has an itchy tongue on top of everything else, and the yeast could be causing him to have an upset tummy (which would explain the foamy poop). He is not going to know what to do with himself when he is no longer in pain from reflux, a dairy allergy and thrush! We will both be treated together for meds the next two weeks and hopefully our yeast problem will go away soon!!
I can't post on September 24th without taking a moment to remember what happened on this day two years ago. Two years ago I was told on an ultrasound table that my sweet baby no longer had a heartbeat. I can still remember the face on the ultrasound tech, the exact layout of the room...pretty much everything about that day. Shaun met me at the house with bbq takeout, tons of snacks (I think he was afraid I wasn't going to eat) and pads (he knew I was bleeding heavily). We cried for a long time. One of the snacks Shaun happened to buy at the store was cashews. He offered some to me, and I started to cry again..."they look like a little baby fetus." I looked up at him, and we both started to laugh hysterically. I still can't look at a cashew without smiling. I think we went right back to crying again after our laughing, but it was a good break from all of the sadness of the day. September 25th (which is now today considering it is 1 AM) is actually the day that I consider the anniversary of my loss because it was the day of my D&C surgery. It is very hard to explain this feeling unless you have experienced it, but I didn't really feel like she was gone until I woke up from surgery realizing she was no longer inside of me. Two years later as I'm holding my sweet baby boy on my chest, the hurt is still there. It doesn't sting the same, but it is still there. I no longer get a lump in my throat when I see the two little girls that I know that were born around her due date, but I do feel a little sadness. Baby Faith was a miracle from God, and I consider myself blessed to be able to carry her even if it was for such a short time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
Oh Courtney, I feel for you. Thank goodness you were able to go to your mom and dad. I remember feeling that sleep deprived that you can't even speak. I'd forgotten until you mentioned it but it's true.
So glad things are a bit better now - henry is on the up!
Courtney,
I'm glad Henry is doing so much better! I'm sitting her with tears in my eyes-remembering my two I lost before Emma. They would be 2 and 3 now. It's crazy how you are so grateful for this little one, but still think and make comparisons to the other one(s). I know we will meet them one day and I am so excited about that. But for now, I am so thankful for Emma, as I know you are for Henry. We worked hard to get these angels here! :D
Blessings,
Susannah
I am so glad that you and Henry are doing better! It sounds like you really needed that break. Thank God for your parents!
As I was reading that last part about Faith I got tears in my eyes remembering my Ella. I remember everything about that moment too. And I also feel like waking up after the D&C was such a horrible feeling. I couldn't hold on to her anymore. You are right; our girls were miracles and blessings from God, and I know our lives have been changed by them.
Your post about the D&C brought up some feelings for me that I have pushed down for 2 years now. I had a D&C 2 years ago and have since had a healthy baby girl. But I totally remember the feeling of waking up from the surgery. I;m going to go give my Peanut a big sqeeze now.
My youngest was on Axid and it worked wonders. I am surprised that it took you 7 weeks to break down and have your parents help you. I have to have c-sections so I need help right away. With my first my MIL came to help me for a week along with my husband and with the second, my husband did it alone.
Henry will be a different baby in a few weeks. He will start to feel better on the Axid and once the thrush is gone, a WHOLE lot better. My youngest had thrush also and the treatment isn't pleasant. Are you using Gentian Violet-the purple stuff?
So sorry that today and yesterday bring you sadness. I have not experienced that before and I am sorry for your loss of baby Faith.
(((HUGS))) this is a hard time of year for me too... both my losses were missed m/c... the first one I found out about on Oct. 5 (3 days before my 21st b-day... happy birthday to me) and last year's miscarriage I found out about on October 17. I "should" have a 2.5 year old and a 5 month old. However, I am so happy to have my little Nolan inside me kicking and moving around.
You have been down a long and hard road. You deserve so much happiness with Baby Henry.
Hope he feels better soon. Aren't moms the best? I'm so glad yours was there for you when you needed her.
**hugs**
I'm so glad Henry is improving! You must all feel so much relief. God answered your prayers!
I'm sorry about your painful anniversary also, but hopefully your sweet little boy has made this one a little easier.
Lauren
Courtney-
You don't know me. I've followed your original blog since you were about 10 wks pregnant with Henry. I have a suggestion that you may want to try for Henry's reflux- I'll get to that at the end but wanted to tell you a little bit about my story. You and I have had a very similar journey. I came across your blog when I was looking up ultrasound pictures of 5 wk gestational sacs on the internet. I had just had an ultrasound, after a miscarriage about a year before, and I wanted to see if my picture looked like it was supoosed to. So from then on I have followed your blog. My husband and I had prayed for years that God would give us a child. Long story short, we went down the infertility treatment road, but felt God was telling us that we needed to stop and wait. So we did, and we were able to conceive, but had a miscarriage beginning on Christmas Day 2006 at about 7 wks. I could so empathize with your experience with your Baby Faith. Then on New Year's Day this year, we found out we were expecting. I was a nervous wreck and expected something to happen any day. Well something did happen, we were blessed with a precious Baby Boy, Quinn, on August 21st. He is doing well except for his REFLUX! Ugh. He is on Zantac now, but still pretty miserable, but I have found something that I think is going to help and you may want to look into it. It is called the AR pillow and it is a 30 degree wedge that the baby can sleep on. I've just ordered it for my little Quinn. It may be worth a try. I've wanted to write and encourage you several times and tell you what an encouragement your blog has been to me during this journey. We have had very similar experiences and I was on bedrest also, although mine started at 34 weeks due to blood pressure issues and we had to deliver Quinn early for that same reason. When I read your post today, I could just relate so much with the misery you and little Henry have gone through with the reflux.
As a pediatrician, I have realized over these last few weeks that a lot of the advice that I had been giving to parents over the last few years was pretty useless when it came to helping with reflux, but I do think this 30 degree wedge is going to really work better than anything.
Take care and God Bless you and your precious family.
Jori
Livingston, TN
drjori@twlakes.net
~hugs~ about the anniversary of your loss.
YAY for getting the sleep you needed. Newborns are HARD in those first weeks and breaksdowns are normal. Good job at knowing when you needed to ask for help. :)
(by the way, I ~love~ the name Henry!)
Hi Courtney,
I found your blog looking for information about infertility. My husband and I have our own infertility story but were blessed with our own miracle baby who is 8 months old now. I like to read your blog from time to time, I can relate to a lot of what you are going through being a first time mom myself.
I wanted to let you know that my baby girl had bad acid reflux too. She also had the silent kind until she went on Previcid and then she started spitting up a lot more but feeling better. I wanted to give you hope that this will end soon (they really start getting better at about 5 months, that's when I took her off the meds)and that a mother's love is truly the best medicine. I found what really helped was when she would spit up instead of getting sad or upset, I would smile and rub her cheek and say, "that's ok baby" in a happy voice and that really helped her not be bothered by it, in fact when she spits up she will smile. I also breastfed my baby and found that if I kept up the frequent feedings every 1.5-2 hours that helped with her digestion and discomfort. Keep fighting for Henry, I realized as a mother you know your baby best. I had to convince the doctors that my baby had reflux because they wouldn't believe me at first. Try different things until you find a solution, but also realize there may not be a perfect cure that will help the spitting up and discomfort, it may just take time like it did with my baby. It is so hard to watch your baby suffer, but HANG IN THERE, it will get better in a few months, just start counting down. Thanks for your blog, it's good to know there are other women out there going through the same journey!
Post a Comment