The first four months of motherhood have been the most challenging and rewarding time of my life. It is hard to put into words the joy that I feel in my heart when Henry giggles with me or even just looks up at me with such a deep serious look on his face. I'm so in love. But it is hard to believe what a huge transition having him in our lives has been for us even when we waited and prayed so long for him. I thought I was "prepared" and that surely since we went through all of the infertility treatments and emotional pain that the actually having a baby part of this journey would be easy. I was wrong. Before I continue, let me be completely clear that suffering (and yes I do believe it was suffering) through infertility was definitely the hardest part. It was a daily/hourly/minute by minute constant struggle and life consuming trial. It is just that my perception/dreams of how it was going to be and actual reality...well there is a big difference between the two. I listened and watched as mothers around me would say and do things, and the thought would pop in my head..."oh I would never do that." Or "it is not going to be like that for me because all I want more than anything is sleepless nights." So many things that I said or thought that I would never do...I have done. I no longer give advice to friends with older babies than Henry as I get that I really have absolutely no concept of what awaits me in a few weeks let alone in a few months. So for everyone's entertainment...here is just a little sample of the never say never lessons learned.
-never will i ever breastfeed in public--let's see where has henry eaten? restaurants, park benches, backseat of my honda, underneath cape at the hair salon, parties...my personal fav...in the waiting room of a car repair shop while the repairman discusses repairs with me. I do attempt to cover up though!
-never will i ever leave a shirt on that is drenched with spitup--daily occurence. I have also abandoned burp cloths...my shirt and hands are so much easier.
-never will i ever let my baby cry it out--as much as I hate this...it actually does work.
-never will i ever put my baby in bed with me (too dangerous!/also hurts sleep training mentioned above)_...I do it all of the time.
-never will i ever get mad at my baby--I know it is hard to believe how I could ever get mad at such a sweet little guy but it is possible when sleep deprivation takes its toll.
-never will i ever still be getting up several times a night at four months--haha.
And there are sooooo many more where that came from! So grateful for the opportunity to learn these lessons the hard way.
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12 comments:
You really never know what you will and won't do until you have kids. The more you have the less you look at other's parenting style. What works for one, may not work for another.
Merry Christmas Courtney. I hope your first as a mom is spectacular. Wait until next year, it will be so much FUN!
So true! I've learned so many lessons through my losses and motherhood...I used to be so quick to judge or say "never would I ever!"...boy oh boy...I've learned to keep my mouth shut! LOL!!
I am due to have an IVF baby in 8 weeks time. It is hard to know what to expect. I really enjoy following your blog and I appreciate your honesty. Wishing you and your family a wonderful Christmas.
This is so funny! I have had the same experience. I am feasting on all the words I said before I had Chloe Jo!
Courtney,
This post actually made me smile because I can SO relate. It's really hard being a Mommy! While it's the most rewarding job in the world it's also the most difficult job you will ever have. I hope you guys have the best first Christmas with Mr. Henry!! By the way....how did your doctors appointment go?
This was a good post to write and share. It was brave of you to bring this out in the open because it is very, very true.
I hope you and your family have a fantastic first Christmas together!!
Thanks for sharing!! I always said I would keep my whining about pregnancy to a minimum, but as I approach 38 weeks I am ready to just be done. LOL!!
Thanks for being so real and honest about the realities of parenting!
Made me smile. Too true. I have eaten my words over and over again since having children. So good to see you this past week. Henry is precious!
Heh, what a great post. It is so true one what we “think” will be, and what actually "is" are two different things.
I was totally expecting all the same trials with #2 as #1. I thought for sure I'd be more of an attached parent, I was wrong. I thought for sure I'd let things go more often, I was wrong.
Nothing is predictable – not even with the second child. It does get easier. I thought #2 would be just as hard and overwhelming, I was wrong.
I love you, Court! All I can do is laugh at this one and be so thankful that you're now sharing in the daily struggles I've "complained" about to you for the last two years! I mean that in the sweetest, happiest way. I promise!!!
oh i bet! i am a nanny. so i gte to see what different families do when raising their children. and there are things i will do like them and other's i will NOT do. but who's to say if my child (or children) will act the same as their children? we never know until we are in the actual situation. and you know what? that's fine. we learn every day. i bet i will still say "i never" until i actually have children. and then i will understand.
it's like when we were 16. didn't we think we had the whole world figured out then? lol! and even now!? lol! i bet when we're 60, we will say 'wow, i thought i knew it all in my 20's, 30's, 40's" and so on. :)
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