Birth Story

This birth story is going to be detailed and will have lots of tmi so only read if you are okay with that...you have been warned :).  

Moving to a new state two days before your due date might be the exact definition of crazy but that is exactly what we did :).  We really had to make a hard decision as we knew that Shaun had to start a new job (couldn't miss orientation) on August 1st which was exactly one week past my due date.  I really thought at the time that I would have her by then but there were no guarantees, and my cervix had not changed at all.  I started to wonder if I was really meant to have Kate in Texas all along.  When I went through my doula training six weeks pregnant with Kate one little activity that we did was to describe our ideal/dream birth.  I knew exactly what I wanted and that was a birth at a birth center close to a hospital with a giant tub and highly skilled and trained midwifes.  At that time, I thought there would be no way possible that I could have that kind of birth as there are no birth centers in Mississippi.  Shaun and I talked and prayed it over and felt a peace that could only come from God that we needed to go.  I can't remember how many days it was between making that decision and leaving Mississippi, but it couldn't have been more than a couple days.  We literally got a copy of my medical records, made a hotel reservation, packed up the van with as much as we could and left.

My first appointment with the birth center was on my due date.  It was a long appointment as they went through my entire medical history, but it felt absolutely wonderful to be in that place.  It was fun to think about all of the sweet miracles that had taken place in that old house (birth center was in a redone Victorian home) as I looked around at all of the precious footprints of the babies born on the wall.  There was so much excitement building inside of me as I realized I was literally due any day and that I was finally in the place that we would meet Kate.  And then we waited...

The birth center that I went to has a very good relationship with their backup obs and hospital that is blocks away, which is one of the things that I liked about this birth center.  But it also made it difficult since I was overdue as I was on an ob's time clock and felt very pressured to have Kate asap.  We had an ultrasound to check on her at the ob's office and since everything was great...it bought me a few more days.  The midwives set Friday (Monday was 42 weeks) as a "labor start" day if I didn't have her before then because they couldn't let me go any longer.

Friday morning, I woke up feeling crampy...my back hurt...and I had a bloody show.  I was thankful to see that my body was cooperating with everyone else's timeline, and we took our time going in to the birth center for the "labor start."  We got to the birth center and met a really sweet friend of a friend, Emily, who picked up Henry for us and took such great care of him (even took him to a fire station...he didn't miss us at all!).  The midwives wanted me on the monitor for a hour to check on Kate since we were post-term, and they also checked me at that time (3 cm).  I wasn't hurting at this point at all so I was just laying on the bed talking to Shaun and sipping on the grape juice with crushed ice that they brought me (yummy!!  my fav drink...has to be welch's though!!).  After a hour on the monitors, the midwife (she was a CNM) came back and checked me and I was now 4 cm and Kate looked great on the monitors.  Since they wanted me to have my baby for sure that day, they asked if they could break my water (I don't think I really had a choice at almost 42 weeks!) and I agreed.  After a little bit more monitoring, they sent us off to walk and to get lunch (I had to wear a depends as anyone who has ever had their water broken knows it just keeps coming).  Traffic was horrible and we had to be back in a hour so we had a quick lunch at chip.otle (yum), and there was no time for a walk.  The midwife checked me again when I got back, and I was 4 1/2 cm.  So I progressed 1/2 cm in a hour.  Well at this point I was feeling very discouraged as I could tell active labor really hadn't fully kicked in as my contractions were not getting stronger, and I knew I was on a serious time clock with having my water broken.  They told us to go downstairs to the birth room (which is a huge ridiculously nice bedroom/bathroom with comfy furniture and built in speakers for music and a giant bathtup :) to get settled in for the day.  Once in the birth room, a different midwife came in to talk to us.  Let's just say that this pep talk was NOT helpful at all and that Ina May is soooo right about how emotions/negative words etc can stop labor.  To quote the midwife, "Courtney 1/2 cm in a hour...we are not impressed...we can only give you a few more hours before you are going to have to get transferred to the hospital."  She instructed us to do nipple stimulation for 30 minutes to get labor going and mentioned that it works for almost all of their past due labor starts to get a labor pattern going.  Shaun knew I was upset.  He was upset.  She was really rude (or came across that way to us), and we were pretty surprised.  Shaun tried to make me feel better by saying that maybe she was just trying to get me fired up, but it was too late...the damage was done.  I knew I had to let go of everything that just went on and all of the pressure I felt to labor so we put on my labor music playlist and got in some comfortable clothes/lit the labor candles and well...had our session :).  We laughed for awhile about how absolutely crazy it was but then it just felt normal and was a very special intimate time for us to be alone and to get to talk about this new exciting chapter in our lives. I'm sure there was some oxytocin involved but I didn't have a single.contraction....not one.  Nothing.  So I knew when the midwives came to check in on us that there would be no change.  Kate was still high in my pelvis so they got me to do some deep squats.  It was encouraging to hear that once her head was down during a squat that I was six centimeters, but we needed some stronger contractions to get her head down on to my cervix.  At this point, we were given two options.  We could try a half dose of cyto.tec there, or we could go to the hospital for pitocin.  I obviously didn't like either of these ideas, but I knew I had to pick one as my water was broken.  Shaun asked if we could take some time to go power walk around the park next to the birth center before making the decision.  We walked....and I had a few contractions but again nothing.  At this point, I was soooo done emotionally.  I think I cursed a few times and then had a big talk at the bathroom sink with God where I just gave it all to Him.  I was really concerned about using cyto.tec because of the fda warnings that I had read, but we talked it over with the midwives and felt comfortable as they only use a very small dosage and then they actually half that pill before they insert it.  But if that didn't work, we already decided that we weren't going to do a second dosage of cyto.tec and were going to go to the hospital.  The labor assistant got me on the belts (yes they have the ability to monitor just like the hospital), and I had to lay in the bed for 30 minutes for the pill to dissolve vaginally.  At about ten minutes in, I started to feel crampy again.  I think this might have just been my own body starting to kick in again as the labor assistant said that it shouldn't work that quickly.  And then a little after 5:00 PM, I had my first big contraction and knew that I had to get out of that bed asap.  They wanted to make sure to have a good strip on the monitors, and I understood that....but there was NO way I was staying in that bed.   Labor is 100X more painful when you are laying in bed.  I consider it torture.  Next contraction came, and I jumped out of the bed and leaned over.  I knew they could still monitor me in that position so I didn't hesitate for a second.  Shaun asked me what massage lotion I wanted, and I was already annoyed at having to answer a question so I knew that I was for real in labor then :).  He massaged my lower back, which is what I liked during Henry's labor and what felt the best this time too.  These contractions were very powerful, and I had a difficult time working with them as they came out of nowhere.  We didn't have a slow buildup to get into a rhythm together so I was just having to go with it and Shaun was too :).  Only after a few contractions, the midwife (this is NOT the midwife who was rude...thank goodness) checked me again and said that baby's head had already moved all the way down.  Everyone was very relieved.  I decided that the contractions were feeling like they were working way too fast so I got on hands and knees on the bed.  At this point, I looked over to the sweet labor assistant and asked "how soon can I get in the tub??"  She said that it would take ten minutes to fill the tub, and she went right away to start filling it up.  Ten minutes sounded like a really long time to fill up a tub at the time :).  Contractions at this point were probably coming every 2-3 minutes.  I wasn't getting much of a break at all.  The labor assistant came to tell me that the tub was ready, and I think I ran to the tub while taking off my nightgown.  Modesty was gone.  There was only one thing on my mind at that time and that was focusing on getting this sweet baby out.  And oh that tub felt amazing.  They call it the midwife's epidural...and it was for sure.  I felt so much better in the water especially between contractions.  I wasn't really sure what position to get into in the tub at first.  The labor assistant (I'm going to call her D from now on) said that some moms like to lay all the way back into the water.  I tried that position but then immediately went into a kneeling position because it felt so much better.  Shaun was continuing to massage my back and encouraging me while putting cold rags around my neck.  I was really hot at this point (nearing transition) so the washcloths felt great.  I remember thinking to myself in the tub and then saying out loud "this has to be transition right??!!"  "I need to know how much longer this is going to be?"  They always replied back with there is no way to know without checking you, but you are probably getting close.  I was a very vocal laborer which surprised me but I felt so comfortable with Shaun, D, and midwife that I just let it all hang out.  Shaun said that some times when a contraction first started I would let out a little high pitch noise while tensing but then he would remind me to make "birth sounds" and "that's it...let it out."  I remember being surprised and amused that he was telling me that but it really was helpful to be reminded (making lower groans etc is better for labor...high pitch means you are tensing)...he really has soaked up a lot of labor knowledge over the last two years :).  I thought a lot during labor about the three women that I had supported through labor and how strong they all were and that inspired me to keep going.  I also prayed outloud a few times.  D kept telling me to blow out breaths when she could see me tensing too much during contractions, and this really, really helped and felt good.  And then D did the double hip squeeze on me, and I could not believe how good it felt!!  It seriously almost took all of the pain away.  Shaun attempted the next contraction but I ended up asking D to please do it again :).  There was a point when that was no longer helpful (probably after 4 contractionsish), and it felt better to have them help me sway my hips back and forth.  All that I have talked about so far was probably 45 minutes or less.  And then I had my "transition moment" (almost every woman has it and from a doula perspective you always know it is a good sign).  I said, "this was a BIG mistake!!"...and I didn't mean the cyto.tec (as Shaun thought I meant)...I meant natural childbirth, birth center, being a doula etc etc.  All of a sudden...I felt like I had to go poo right away so I told them, and they took me over to the toilet.  It was a little more difficult than I expected to poo but I was able to, and I knew this meant baby was probably coming soon.  I buried my head into Shaun during the contractions on the toilet, and he held me tight which felt really good.  The hardest contraction I ever had was going from the toilet back to the tub.  I collapsed into Shaun and didn't know what to do with all of the pressure I was feeling while standing so I started doing horse lips, which helped tremendously.  I remembered later that this was a Ina May Gaskin trick that I had read about, but I think I actually did it instinctively.  Got back in the tub which felt so much better for probably only one or two more contractions when I felt that I needed to go poo again.  I again knew in my head that this was a good thing but still wasn't sure how much longer I had left and was sad that I had to get out of the tub again.  Midwife applied some pressure to help me go and also moved the little lip of cervix that was left, and they also encouraged me to bear down a little with the contractions which felt nice.  A little funny...Shaun kept flushing the toilet with me still on it...I was NOT a fan and had to tell him to stop.  I think D and midwife thought that was funny :).  And then I felt something unbelievable....my body was literally all of a sudden pushing my baby out.  There was no stopping my body from doing what it needed to do at this point.  I had two options...I could just ride it out and feel my body pushing or I could bear down a little to help.  I think I just rode out the first push because I was so surprised at how it felt.  I told the midwife that I was pushing, and she encouraged me to bear down on the next one.  This part for me felt way better than those transition contractions.  It actually felt good to bear down!  After that first sensation of my body pushing, I had what is called the "rest and be thankful phase."  I knew in my head that it was my rest phase when I had enough time between contractions to walk from the toilet to the bed :).  I squatted next to the bed and pushed for one contraction and could tell that her head was almost out.  I hopped onto the bed on hands and knees and felt like that was the position that I needed to be in, but the midwife told me to turn around into a sitting upright position.  I should have told her no :) (because I ended up tearing and I don't think I would have had the same tear in h&k) but at this point I was just doing as I was told because I had no idea what to expect.  The next contraction came, and I remember the midwife telling me not to bear down anymore and out she came :).  Born at 6:18 pm...just a little over a hour labor...8 lbs 8 ounces!  Shaun caught Kate and lifted her up on to my bare chest.  I could try to put into words what this moment felt like, but it is impossible to describe.  It didn't hurt at all... just a very warm and beautiful feeling.  I felt relief and immediate love.  She was absolutely gorgeous and wide awake.  I couldn't believe how much she looked like Henry when he was born.  And then the most wonderful thing happened...no one took my baby away from me.  I got to keep her and soak her up skin to skin, which made delivering the placenta/getting stitched etc so pleasant.  I was laying down to get stitched and decided to put Kate up to my breast to see if she wanted to nurse.  She self-latched immediately (probably three seconds!), and we couldn't believe it!  She was also pushing off the bed using her crawling reflex that babies without anesthesia have when they are born.  Amazing!  I could not get over how good I felt after the birth.  I had of course read about all of the hormones/endorphins etc that rush into your body after natural childbirth but literally couldn't get over how good I felt.  I've never been that relaxed in all of my life!!  I kept saying to the midwife and D, "I can't believe how great I feel."  I could tell they hear that often :).  Shaun and I couldn't get over how wonderful of an experience this birth was for us.  D got a fresh warm bath ready for me and brought my candles over to the bath.  She seriously thought of everything.  She made sure we had everything we needed to have a great experience.  I got in to the tub by myself for a few minutes and then Shaun brought Kate back to me into the bath to nurse some more.  Kate was very alert for probably close to two hours, and she nursed most of that time :).  It was so wonderful to be able to soak her up and to look into her sweet eyes.  What a miracle...God is so good.

We moved to Texas!!

So if you aren't friends with me in "real life" then I seriously left you hanging with my last post (so sorry about that!).  Life has been crazy!!!!  At the time that I last wrote, I was in the middle of my 39th week of pregnancy, and we had just decided to take a job offer in d.allas, texas that would require us to leave town in a few days.  So at two days before my due date, we packed up our van with everything we could possibly need for the first few months and headed west to Texas.  We found a birth center who would take us in at the last minute (literally as my first appointment with them was ON my due date), and we stayed in several different hotels that first week and half waiting for our cor.porate furnished apartment to be ready.  We were also waiting for Miss Kate who was apparently not ready to join us.  It was a difficult and fun two weeks with a lot of ups and downs and A LOT of crying from me.  I will be the first to admit that I did not handle going over my due date well at all.  I felt a ton of pressure to go into labor before Shaun started work, and it was hard waiting.  A huge blessing though (God's timing is perfect!) is that we were able to get settled into our apartment before Kate came, and just the three of us were able to do all kinds of fun things to begin to learn our new city.  And we ate soooo goood....thanks to per diem for eating out all week!!  This was of course a very welcome change from not eating out at all and trying to eat incredibly cheap while Shaun didn't have a job.  We loved getting to show Henry all kinds of new things, and he absolutely adored staying in a hotel etc.  Birth story and pics of Kate coming soon...Here are a few pics from our first week in Texas:

Van LOADED down

Henry is saying "Texas!!"

The zoo here is sooo fun!

Record breaking heat wave in Texas....enough said.

Henry checking out the penguins...my fav!!

Finally some good food!!

Aunt Sarah came for the first three days of Shaun's job and moved us into our apt and took care of Henry
....couldn't have done it without her!!

      

So much to say...

There is SO much that I want to blog about right now....lots of news....but I can't make it public yet (hopefully soon!!).  Okay wish I could say more.

I'm 39 weeks now...due date is MONDAY!!!  I'm actually anticipating going past my due date though as I wasn't progressed at all at my friday checkup.  I will have another dr appt on Thursday morning but honestly not expecting much news from that either.  Since I'm not going to be electively induced, I just get to be a patient mama and wait on when miss sweet kate is ready to show her pretty face.  I was induced with Henry at 39 weeks 3 days, which would be like having Kate today...wow!  Makes me realize how close I am to getting to hold her (so exciting!).  Please pray for a happy and healthy delivery....the last three months have been SO crazy around here that I'm hoping that this birth can be calm and normal :).

Remember how I said how badly I wanted maternity pics and how sad I was that we wanted be able to get them because of $$$ with Shaun's job loss??!!  Well just an example of how God provides...my friend is a photographer, and she asked me if we would be willing to get our pictures taken by some photographers for use for their portfolios.  Well we got there, and I think there was seriously like six or more photographers taking pictures of us.  I want to post some on here but want to make sure that I use the right format with their logo that they want so for now I can only post a link to one of the photographers blogs with a pic of me :).

Also a little update on my sweet boy.  Henry is almost two!!!!  He is talking in sentences now and is seriously cracking us up with the stuff that he says.  He talks pretty clearly but some of his words he can't say exactly right, and they are my favs...helipopter, waccles (waffles), pee woo (instead of pee you for smelly), Chomas (Thomas the train).  We have also been amazed by how much Henry loves to sing and how he can really keep a tune.  He has always been very auditory but lately it has become even more clear how much we pays attention to sound.  One of my favorite things to do now is to leave out words in a book or song, and he tries to fill in the blanks.  I've been surprised what he actually has memorized :).  One of the sweet things that he does that melts our hearts every time is that when we tuck him in at night, he waits for us to close the door and then he yells as loud as he can "I yove you mama!!"  "I yove you dada!!"  I don't think it gets much better than that :).  This is definitely a challenging age as he thinks he is capable of doing so much more than he can (independence is kicking in!!), and he is sooooo destructive and non-stop....but it is also such a sweet and cute age.  He is growing up too fast...sigh.  And he is going to be a big brother soon (oh I can already tell I'm going to be an emotional wreck after Kate is born :).  

Packing our bags :)...

You know you are getting close when it is time to pack your bags for the hospital and install the carseat in the car!  We are nesting this weekend so little tiny pink things are getting washed (oh so much fun!!) and everything is getting setup around the house.  Definitely making things feel more real!  I'm so excited to meet my sweetie pie that I can hardly stand it.  I can wait to hold her!  But I'm not wishing for delivery this week (37 weeks) as I did with Henry because there is still a lot to do before she comes.  I'm going to try to be patient as I can be this time :). 

Wanted to give y'all an update on my ob appt on Wednesday.  I will admit it was pretty emotional for me meeting a new doctor at 36 weeks, and I didn't love everything she said.  But the good news is that she had no issues with anything on my birth plan, and she said that the l&d nurses will already know that she is okay with the things I have listed on my birth plan (but it will be in my chart also) so I shouldn't have any problems with them (not that I would anticipate ANY issues with them because I already know a lot of them and they are wonderful).  We talked specifically about each item, but I won't bore y'all with that much detail.

I thought I would post what I'm packing this time in my labor bag especially since it would be fun to compare to last time (makes me a little nauseous when I read those blog posts from last time...definitely learned a lot about trusting my body and labor in the last two years).  By far the biggest bag for me will be the one that we will carry in with us when I'm in labor...my labor bag (We will leave the postpartum bag and the diaper bag in the car until after delivery).  It is really my doula bag of tricks and comfort measures :) with some added personal items for me.  I am all about setting up a home environment (as much as possible) in the hospital room.  Things like low lights, music etc really made a difference for me with Henry's labor so I try to setup a similar environment for my doula clients (if we have time!).  I also think it helps the nurses/hospital staff/doctors etc to respect the moms space when they enter the room, and it is always fun to see their reaction (they can tell something special is going on in the room).  So here is what is in my labor bag!

Labor Bag for Hospital—
-Ponytail holders
-Music (jim brickman piano "faith" cd and then I will also have a playlist on my ipod with portable speakers of my favorite slow/sappy songs...lots of country music...stuff like "remember when" -alan jackson)
-Laptop (this might not end up coming in until after delivery)
-Chargers for laptop and cameras and phones
-Video camera
-Flip Flops
-Socks
-Swimming suit...(probably won't wear the bottoms...this is for the bathtub/shower)...one for shaun too.
-Birth Ball!! (a must have...I would be sooooo upset if I didn't have my ball)
-Comfy blanket (just to wrap around me if I want it...NOT to lay down :)
-Led candles (4)--I like to put two in the bathroom so moms don't have to turn the big lights on when they need to go in there and then two/three more around the room so that we can turn the overheads off
-Sound machine for bathroom (tiny little battery operated sound machine that I put on the sink counter behind a candle with water sounds)
-Nice handsoap for bathroom
-Nice toilet paper for bathroom
-Small water fountain (this might end up next to the bathtub because there is a large area at my hospital...it is battery operated too)
-Focal points—ultrasound pic of kate in frame, newborn pink shoes -Happy for l&d nurse (I have a super cute little container for this...just going to be some yummy chocolates with a sweet note)
-Bath pillow ( have this one from homedics...it vibrates!)
-Kneel pad for doula/shaun
-dum dum suckers
-Ziploc of massage oils/lotions
-Freezer Ziploc bags for putting ice chips and washcloths in so that they are cold for transition
-Battery operated fans (2)
-Extra double A batteries
-The Birth Partner book
-Warm compresses (I love these...I have two of them so I can change them out without taking it away from mom...especially great for back labor while mom is in hands/knees position or for wearing around back or lower belly while on ball....the handles are also great for if mom wants to stand and rock side to side while pulling on the straps for some pressure on the back).
-Instant hot/cold packs
-Birth ball pump (in case it needs some air!)
-Bendy straws for gatorade!

Will also have a seperate little cooler bag with ice with gatorades and quick energy snacks for me and shaun and my doula :). 

So that is what is in my labor bag...did I forget anything??!!

The Birth Plan...

Some of you have been curious about what I have in my birth plan so I thought I would just go ahead and post it.  A lot of the requests that I make in my birth plan are standard procedure in some areas of the country but not where I live so I have to include them :).  If you are currently pregnant and thinking that you don't need a birth plan, you might want to reconsider.  Making a birth plan gives you the opportunity to research what you and your hubby want for your birth, and it is a great way to talk to your ob about your birth preferences at your prenatals.  You can learn A LOT about an ob by how they react to your birth plan.  If they immediately start acting defensive, using scare tactics (like talking about dead babies) and telling you what they are not going to do before you even get to talk about your birth preferences, then you might want to look into finding another OB.  As a doula, I hear a lot of negative reactions to birth plans by OBs that really surprise me.  They usually say something like "I don't want you to make a birth plan because I don't want you to be disappointed if it doesn't work out that way" or "Birth is so unpredictable.. there is no need to make a plan because it won't turn out the way you planned."  While it is absolutely true that birth is unpredictable, there is nothing wrong with having a plan and making educated choices.  I could go on and on about this but since this isn't a doula blog...I will just get off my soap box and post my birth plan.  Feel free to ask me any questions about it!  And feel free to copy it :)!

Birth Plan

Mother:  Courtney ******
Father:  Shaun ******Doula:  Maddy ****

All of the below preferences are given with the understanding that medical emergencies can occur.  We will of course be completely flexible in the event of an emergency.

First Stage of Labor:
-No IV just Heplock
-Intermittent monitoring for more range of movement and the use of the shower/tub
-Dimmed lighting
-Limited vaginal checks
-NO pitocin or artificial rupture of membranes
-No pain medication unless requested…please don’t offer medication

Second Stage of Labor:
-Would like to “labor down” until the urge to push is felt
-Spontaneous pushing
-Push and deliver in side lying/squatting/hands and knees positions
-No episiotomy

After Birth:
-Delayed cord clamping…please wait until the cord is no longer pulsating
-No afterbirth shot of pitocin…would prefer immediate breastfeeding and to only use if needed
-Natural delivery of the placenta
-Extended skin to skin contact with mother
-Suctioning/warming/cleaning baby/apgar scores etc while held by mother (skin to skin with warm blanket)
-No eye treatment
-Breastfeeding immediately after delivery
-In-room transition

 Nursery:
-Breastmilk only
-No vaccinations
-Pacifier is fine
-No formula or sugar water

A little update :)

Just wanted to let y'all know that I did find a new ob that I'm hoping I'm going to like very much.  My first appt with her is this wednesday afternoon (36 weeks!!!) so I'm looking forward to meeting her.  My friend gave me a really great idea that I honestly had not even thought about doing until she mentioned it.  This is one of those tips that I know I will be using for doula clients in the future.  She knows a l&d nurse at the very mom/baby/natural childbirth friendly hospital that I want to go to so she asked her for an ob recommendation.  I also decided to just call l&d to talk to one of the nurses that I had with a doula client who was really sweet and very supportive of natural childbirth.  Unfortunately, she only works on the weekends, but I ended up having a great talk with one of the nurses there who gave the same recommendation.  She told me exactly what I wanted to hear that this ob "really listens to her patients" that she "wants the birth that her patients want" that she is a "patient advocate who is very supportive of natural childbirth" and that "we all love here here."  It speaks volumes to me when the l&d nurses love the ob because they see the behind the scenes so I feel really great about going with their recommendation.  We are back in town so it is time for some serious nesting!!  Here is my to-do list to be completed in one week (eek!!).  I want all of this done by 37 weeks just in case I get suprised by an earlier labor!
1.  Put up the crib in our room (a friend is letting us borrow one and we got to paint it pink!)...wash bedding and setup bed.
2.  Wash carseat cover, swing cover, and bouncy seat cover
3.  Install carseat base in van (shaun)
4.  Paint changing table pink (another friend is letting us use theirs too and we get to paint it pink too)-shaun will do this for me too :)
5.  Buy newborn diapers and sensitive wipes and a changing pad cover and setup changing table
6.  Wash and fold newborn clothes (yay!!!)
7.  Pack labor bag and hospital bag (will do a post later about what I'm packing in my labor bag)
8.  Birth playlist for music during labor
9.  Buy snacks and juice for labor
10.  Thank you notes!
Okay I think that is everything.  I just have to remind myself that all we really need is a few gowns, lots of newborn diapers/wipes, my boobs, receiving blankets, nursing pads and burp cloths for those first few weeks anyways :).  Now I better go start on this list while I still have a little energy!    

35 weeks and an update!

It is absolutely unbelievable to me how fast the weeks are going by right now!  I can't believe we are only two weeks away from full-term :) (although I bet I will still be going into labor closer to my due date).  It is starting to feel more and more real that I'm about to get to meet this sweet baby girl, and I couldn't be more excited!  I can't wait to labor....can't wait to hold her...can't wait to see her....can't wait to feel her soft skin.  My belly must be huge because I'm getting stopped now everywhere I go and everyone that talks to me thinks that I'm due any day.  Their eyes get huge when I tell them that I'm due at the end of July :).  I wonder what the reactions will be when I'm actually out in public at the end of july :).  Oh my...I can only imagine.  I'm definitely at the uncomfortable stage now, but I'm still treasuring every moment as I really love, love being pregnant.

I'm hoping to post a few more blog posts this week with pics (including a few bump photos) and an update on my sweet Henry (almost 2...wow!!!!) since I have some time as we are here at my parent's house in AL to recharge for a few days.  I really appreciate all of the kind and encouraging words on my last post.  It has been a very hard month as you can imagine, but God is so good.  He has provided all of our needs (and more!), and we are so very encouraged.  We are constantly blown away by the generosity of our friends, church family, and family.  We have already learned so much through this experience.  Every plan that I had in place (and I had a lot!)  at the beginning of May has totally changed.  In fact, the one little plan that I was soooo happy to still have in place (my dr)...just changed today.  Today (on a Sunday afternoon...imagine how surprised I was to get this call) my dr called me to let me know that she was part of a large l.ayoff this past week.  I have the option to be "transferred" to a random ob that I know nothing about, but I'm really not willing to do that for obvious reasons so I'm going to have to do my research and pray that I'm able to find a good natural childbirth friendly doctor with decent backups.  I'm really sad because I really liked my dr.  She really listened to what we desire for our birth, and we both made sure that we were on the same page with my birth plan.  I'm honestly not asking for much in my birth plan (will post it soon), but you would be surprised how hard it is to find an ob in my area who is willing to even let you go a day/week past your due date or to just have a heplock instead of an IV or to have intermittent monitoring (as the ACOG actually recommends for low-risk l&d).  All of these things and a few more on my birth plan are completely standard and can be backed by medical research that they are best for mom and baby. 

So literally every single plan from big to small that I have made in the last few months has changed.  But there is peace in knowing that God does have a plan and that He is in control.  Will keep y'all updated :).         

Dear Baby Kate

Dear Sweet Kate,
I can tell you are getting so much bigger now.  Your movements are getting really strong, and my belly is getting huge.  I can't believe we are going to be meeting you in ten weeksish or less...wow!!  And I still can't believe you are a girl.  We are going to have so much fun together.  I can't wait for all of the pink and playing kitchen and princesses :). 

I had lots of plans for the last two months of this pregnancy.  I was planning on moving your brother to another room and making a very pink and girly nursery for you. I was planning on getting all fixed up and taking some much needed belly shots (I really hope to still do this but we will have to see).  But everything changed about a week ago when your daddy lost his job out of nowhere.  This has been one of the hardest (if not the hardest) weeks of our lives.  We've had to make some very difficult decisions including putting our house on the market.  And so I sit at 30 weeks pregnant with you, and I have no idea where I'm bringing you home to?!  My emotions have been all over the place and so have your daddy's, but we know that God is faithful (you and Henry are testaments to that!) and that gives us a lot of comfort.  When I'm having a "moment," you sometimes will give me a nice kick, which turns my tears into smiles.  Shaun and I have talked so much about how grateful we are that we have you and Henry.  We couldn't imagine going through this without y'all to make us smile and to help us remember what really is important.  Kate, you are such a blessing already in our lives.  We love you so much!!  It really doesn't matter if you have a fancy going home outfit or a pink nursery...you aren't really going to care are you?  Well then I'm not going to either.  Can't wait to hold you tight and to take care of you and to give you a million kisses. 
Love you,
Mommy

Can I get it all in one post??!!

I have so missed blogging.  I find myself blogging in my head sometimes when I'm running around cleaning the house or cooking etc.  I think the main reason why blogging has taken a back seat lately is that I'm napping during the time that I used to blog (henry's naptime).  I really thought the naps would stop after the first trimester, but I've still needed them so I've tried not to let myself feel too guilty about taking a nap.  I'm also usually completely in veg out mode after Henry goes to bed at night.  It takes a lot of physical energy to run/waddle after a 20 month old all day!  Today I heard from several of you via email and comments and just hearing from my bloggy friends encouraged me to come spend some time at the computer tonight.  Thanks for making me feel loved girls!  So here is my attempt at trying to fit a lot of updates into one post!

Pregnancy update!- I'm 27 weeks along and my belly is definitely showing it :).  I really need to take some belly shots so I will just have to do a photo post soon with a bump photo and some update pics of hen hen.  I still can't believe that I'm having a girl!  And it really still doesn't even feel completely real that I'm having another baby.  I feel so blessed and so grateful to God for this precious sweet baby girl.  After all that we have been through in the past, I just can't help but want to soak up every second of this pregnancy.  I really love being pregnant.  I wish I had a pause button so I could really soak it up like I want to!  Staying busy with Henry has made this pregnancy go by way too fast.  I am starting to get to the uncomfortable stage where sleep is starting to be difficult at night, and I'm having the same severe rib cage pain that I had with Henry.  If you read back in the pregnancy days with Henry, then you might remember that I started having regular contractions at 27-28 wks that landed me on bedrest for six weeks.  They have started back again but given that I went full term with Henry, I'm just counting on them being from my "irritable uterus" unless they become more strong or really regular etc.  I recently have changed OBs so that I can deliver in a very natural childbirth friendly hospital here in town.  I just had a doula client deliver there, and it made me soooo excited to be in such a supportive and welcoming enviroment (definitely an answer to this doula's prayers).  Can't wait to go back there in a few months to meet our sweet baby Kate!

Doula update--It is hard to blog about being a doula because I just can't say very many details about the births for my client's privacy!  I can say that I have had three births so far (that should be it until after my break although I really want to add one more) and that they have all been completely different but equally beautiful.  I have loved every second of being a doula.  Who would have ever thought that I would have gone from having a lump in my throat at the sight of a pregnant woman to supporting a couple through labor and delivery??  I really feel like I need to write a separate post about this because I have a lot to say, but this is just one more area in my life that has caused me to actually be grateful for infertility.  God definitely taught me through infertility and loss to appreciate the miracle of life.  As the title of Ina May Gaskin's new book puts it..."birth matters," and to pretend as though we can take control of the process by scheduling every single delivery (as is almost the case in my city) or discouraging movement in labor etc etc without any risks to mom or baby has me very concerned  So without starting into a very long post of its own...I feel very called to be a doula, and I'm just going to have to blog more about some of my thoughts on the subject soon!

Henry update!--Oh my sweet boy.  This age is too cute.  Again where is the pause button??  Henry is talking up a storm, and his personality cracks us up.  He is such a joy and brings so much laughter into our home.  I absolutely adore the way he says some things.  Right now he loves saying "uh oh fall doooown"...it could be from a tantrum or just because he feels like laying down at the time but either way it makes me giggle every time.  Obviously impossible to descirbe on the blog but just take my word for it that it is cute!  I just want to go sneak in his room right now and scoop him up.  Everyone tells me that he is going to look huge when we get home with Kate...makes me sad to think that he is growing up so fast.

Okay so I got it all in one post!  Definitely more to come...hopefully more frequent but shorter posts!

It's a...

Hello sweet blogger friends!  Sorry I've been MIA and so sweet of some of y'all to check on me :).  See below post update below on Henry and why it has been so long since I have posted.  Way past time for a pregnancy update.  This pregnancy is flying!!  Unbelievable how fast it is going...almost to the point where I wish I could stop time for a second to just enjoy this moment.  Given our infertility history, pregnancy is an especially sweet time for me. I just love every second of it!  And I've also been blessed by easy pregnancies both times especially this time.  I'm 19 weeks pregnant, and I wouldn't know it if it wasn't for the sweet baby kicks I'm feeling now and my growing bump....and the need for naps and reflux issues :).  I feel bad blogging because I know so many who are still waiting for their precious miracles whether through adoption or attempting treatments, and I don't want to make anyone feel bad.  I haven't forgotten for a second the pain of infertility and the daily struggle of walking through it. 

At our most recent dr appt (18 weeks)...we had our big ultrasound!  And we found out that our sweet baby is a.....




GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I can't believe it!!  I really thought I would be a mom to a bunch of boys :).  I'm the youngest of four with three brothers...shaun has three brothers and there is one granddaughter and seven grandsons on my side!  lots and lots of boys and blue.  So everyone is excited for some pink, bows, baby dolls, dresses, tutus etc etc etc :) :) :)!!!!

Honestly, I feel like I'm in a dream right now and that someone needs to pinch me and wake up.  I feel so blessed to have such a sweet little boy and now a girl.  I've only known for a week now and with all of the sickness in our family, I haven't even had time to look at girl stuff and plan and dream and really believe that I'm having a girl.  We had a great report that she looks healthy and that everything so far is going well which is of course what is most important to us.  I don't want y'all to think I didn't want a boy...I really didn't care either way!  I was actually super excited about having two boys and had the cutest name picked out :). 

So now we have to name her!  We really love the name Kate so I think that will be the name, but Shaun wants to go through the entire baby name book before we decide for sure.  Now the challenge is to come up with a middle name....Kate (insert three syllable name here??) two syllable last name.  Comment if you have any ideas :).     

Here are some sweet pics of miss precious :)

baby feet

sweet button nose

She had her two hands together by her cheek and I said that looked "girly" before I knew she was a girl :)

sweet profile shot

18 wk bump...actually much bigger now :)

18 Month Update

It has been way too long!  I've been a horrible little blogger lately.  I really hope to get better at posting more often soon so if anyone is still out there reading...thanks for still following along :).  The first few months of 2011 are flying by with keeping up with my busy little guy, napping during henry's naps (my former blog time), enjoying this sweet baby and pregnancy, doula clients, and lots of sickness!!!  We are all well right now, and I pray that it stays that way for some time...we need a break.  But so thankful that all we've had to deal with are things like stomach bugs, colds etc and nothing more serious. 

Now to talk about my little man :)...there is so much to say that it is hard to know what to even include in this blog post.  I have found 18 months old (he's almost 19 mo now...eek!) to be the perfect combination of the cutest/sweetest age mixed with the most challenging age yet!  Let me explain. 

First the cute....Henry is talking up a storm and everything that comes out of his mouth is about as cute as it gets.  He is also showing quite the little personality lately with the way he interacts with us, and it is just adorable.  For instance, he will say "oh no" while holding his cheeks and just yesterday he struck this little pose while asking if he could see pictures of babies that had me laughing so hard (it is hard to describe but put your chin on the top of your shoulder and you might be able to tell what I'm talking about).  The other day at the bookstore, Henry saw two cute little toddler sisters and turned on the charm big time with a cute dimple smile and said "hey girls!" really loud.  He just never stops amazing us at the stuff he comes up with every day.  One of his favorite things to do righ now is to make "a mess."  He will go around the house looking for how he can make a mess while mommy cleans.  As much as we sing the cleanup song, and I try to demonstrate putting away toys etc...he has absolutely no interest....he just wants to make a mess.  And so I will hear him around the house saying "oh no!  a mess" or just "a mess!!"  Henry loves all things boy...his favorties right now are still choo choos but he is also getting more and more into "race cars."  I can't believe how much he can distinguish between vehicles/construction equipment...he will see a jeep, sports car, race car, backhoe, crane, fire truck etc and tell me what he is seeing.  It is so fun to see his little brain just soak up as much information as he can.  He has also started singing some of the songs we sing like twinkle twinkle, row row, splish splash, old mcdonald, shake your booty....is there a sweeter sound??  He can even him the thomas the train theme song!  Henry also loves to talk about what belongs to who like "mama's shirt, dada's pants, papa's trucks"  We will even be going down the road, and he will say "samuel's shirt" (his cousin) or "micah's shirt (his friend).  Naps are finally wonderful.....woooohooo!  He goes down at noon and takes usually a 2 hr nap (even a 3 hr the other day!!).  He also is getting better about not being as cranky when he wakes in the morning or from his nap...he will cry for just a minute and then he will yell for me as loud as he can so I hear him across the house "mama!!."  I love waking up to that ;).  So now sleep gets to be in the cute category for Henry...if y'all have followed me from the beginning...I bet y'all are all shocked...me too :).

Now for the challenging part...I've heard that some toddlers start the twos a little early, and I think that is the case for our sweet Henry.  I've wondered if maybe because he is talking so much that might be why he is starting so soon.  Tantrums are very frequent at our house right now.  It could be he couldn't get a toy to work like he thinks it should or that I didn't do something they way he wanted etc.  The funny thing about Henry is that he gives us a pre-warning of his tantrum by saying "uh oh" and then he proceeds to throw himself on the floor.  I ignore the tantrums for the most part and just walk away because I've heard that is the best way to teach them that they don't work.  I don't think that he is trying to throw the tantrum to get me to change his mind...it is more of an involuntary response of his body to the frustration he is feeling so I almost feel sorry for him.  I have really come to accept that this is just part of being 18 months.  He thinks he is capable of doing so much more than he actually is so it is very frustrating for him and as a mom there is very little that I can do to reason with him logically at this age which also makes it challenging.  I really just recognize this as a stage, but it does make for some long days sometimes.  Another issue we have with our sweet Henry is some very aggressive behavior...pinching, pulling hair, biting etc.  And I'm going to vent for a second because this is one of the reasons I like to blog :).  This is probably the most challenging issue I've faced yet with behavior with Henry because it involves others.  It makes me so upset that he would hurt other children and me and his daddy but at the same time it is hard to deal with being told your son is so awful all of the time.  It starts to really get to a mama when every time I pick him up from nursery/mother's morning out etc...I get a report on how my little guy has "beat up" on all the kids in the nursery (and yes Henry I know you are laughing about this if you are reading this twenty years from now :).  I get all of the advice at the nursery door about saying no, time outs, spanking etc, and it just gets hard to hear.  I'm glad that they are giving him timeout and being consistent and that some kids are scratching him back etc because that is how he is going to learn.  But I'm being consistent at home too!!!  Just because your child has a behavioral problem does not mean the mama is at fault :).  I got so sick of it on Sunday that I told the nursery worker (who was a fill-in so it wasn't the nursery worker that Henry and I love and know well) that "well I guess you will understand one day when he is a nfl football player."  How hillarious is it that I said that?  I'm so hormonal right now that sometimes things just come out of my mouth especially when they are talking about my baby :).  I also get it from other mamas too.  And yes I know it is not fun to see your child to be pinched etc, but if you don't like it then remove your child from the situation.  Moms need breaks too, and I can't watch Henry every second when we are at a social function.

But the good news is that the cuteness far outweighs the challenges!  So blessed to have my sweet little guy, and I'm so enjoying this time with just him.  He really is about as precious as they come :)

first juice box by myself

so proud!

so happy and cute...and yes I love this shirt on him :)

        

Baby Update :)

Well here I am in the last week of my first trimester (12 weeks)....hard to believe!!  This pregnancy is going by so much faster than Henry's because I'm not as worried this time, and I'm so busy chasing after my precious little guy :).  I'm honestly still having a hard time even wrapping my brain around the fact that I'm pregnant.  It just doesn't feel real (more like a dream) and even when I talk about it...it almost feels like I'm pretending.  I remember struggling with similar feelings during my first trimester with Henry, but I also think that I was a little bit more emotionally prepared for that pregnancy.  This pregnancy was a huge surprise (in an infertile getting pregnant naturally surprise...not the annoying we didn't even try and we want to tell the world how fertile we are surprise) so I think it is taking a little longer to soak in this time.  I know once I start feeling stronger movements (just started feeling some tiny flutters recently) that it will become more real to me, and I honestly can't wait to get to that stage!!  I'm not calling this baby "baby #2" because I don't think it is fair to my first baby that I lost.  I just don't feel comfortable calling him or her that and so we are just calling the baby "baby" and then by his or her name after the big ultrasound.  I want this sweet baby to know (in case you read this someday) that just because our season of waiting was shorter than with Henry, it doesn't mean you were wanted any less.  We wanted you just as much as your brother, and you are just as much of a miracle!!

I've enjoyed looking back at old blog posts of Henry's pregnancy so I want to make sure that I write down some of the symptoms and fun stuff to remember.  This pregnancy so far hasn't been too difficult.  I was a little more nauseaous this time but only from weeks five through eightish and not enough to make me throw up (except for a horrible stomach bug at 7 weeks).  I've definitely been tired as I always feel like I need a nap in the afternoon, and I almost always fall asleep on the couch in the evening.  Looking forward to getting a burst of energy hopefully soon!  Frequent urination--oh wow. definitely had this so much more this time from weeks 4 to 11.  Now that the baby has popped up and out a little and taken a little pressure off my bladder, I'm not needing to go as often (for now!).  Gag attacks--gag attacks are back!!  I was wondering where they were because I'm pretty sure I got them earlier with Henry, but they started last week at 11 weeks.  I just gag out of nowhere or especially if a smell gets to me.  Mood--I feel like I haven't been that moody yet (Shaun might disagree), but I can definitely get emotional at sillly things especially on tv.   Starting to show--I feel like I just pop fast compared to some girls, but it is definitely time for some maternity jean shopping this weekend!  Cravings--Henry was my mexican baby couldn't get enough of it but this baby has been my italian baby.  I could eat spaghetti like several times a week.  I couldn't stand sweets with Henry, but I love a good sweet treat with this pregnancy.  I'm honestly surprised that I've only gained 2 lbs so far (think it was six at this point last time) because I've got a serious appetite.  I couldn't eat very much from like 5 to 9ish weeks, but I'm starting to get to eat bigger portions now.  I know some women get really annoyed at women like me because I have it easy in the first tri unlike my sweet friend Andrea (send her some hugs and congrats!).  I honestly can't imagine how hard it would be to be that sick for that long :(.  Andrea was such a wonderful friend to me through my infertility before Henry and then I got to walk with her through hers the last two years.  We are blown away that God would have us to be pregnant together only like four days apart.  What a blessing!!!!  We both didn't even dream that as a possibility!

I really need to get better from here on out with belly shots...I just took one this morning so that I could post one (no face in the pic=no makeup...a southern girl just doesn't post that to the world :).

12 weeks...already starting to show?

Front view

and my buddies :)...aren't they the cutest?

 

Time for an update on hen hen...

I can't believe it has been October since I have last blogged on here.  wow.  This fall has really gone by fast!!  I wanted to take a few moments to write down a few things about sweet Henry because he is turning into such a big boy, and I don't want to forget this precious age (16 months).  We just love him to bits!!

Size- 18 mo clothes and starting to look so long...can't believe how long he looks when he stretches out in the tub to "swim"

Henry's Favorites- He is still absolutely obsessed with choo choos, but he is also starting to love trucks and cars more too.  I love the way he says "choo choo"...melts my heart every time.  He says "tank you" the same way he says choo choo too.  His favorite animal right now is probably an elephant, dog or cat, but he loves to say all of the animal sounds.  His favorite book is any train book but especially "the little train" that we ended up buying from the public library because he destroyed it/loved on it so much. 

Favorite words/phrases- We definitely have a talker!  Henry loves to communicate, and he is getting to the point now where he is almost adding a word daily.  I was writing down his first words through 15 months, but there is no way that I can keep up a list now.  I really believe the reason he has started talking early is baby signs.  I'm a huge fan of starting baby signs around 6 to 8 months of age.  I've seen so many moms afraid of teaching signs to their babies because they think that it will keep their baby from talking but all of the research shows (or at least the studies I've seen) that it actually helps babies/toddlers to talk early.
His favorite phrase by far right now is "fix it."  He absolutely loves to bring me or Shaun something that is "broken" to "fix it."  He actually put three words together for the first time this past weekend when Shaun was working with tools in the garage..."Dada fix it!"  Thankfully, the door from the house to the garage was open so I got to hear it too.  Other favorite phrases are "all done" and "all aboard" (this one melts my heart every time too).  I'm trying to get as many of these first words on video because obviously writing doesn't even begin to do it justice. He is starting to have fun with opposite words too like open/close, up/down.  He loves saying "shirt" right now and just recently said "mama's shirt"...although sometimes that "r" goes missing so it sounds pretty funny :).

Henry is such a boy!  He absolutely adores making sounds and mimicking and thinks certain sounds are especially funny.  Especially....poots :).  I can thank his dada for teaching him this one.  I will never forget recently when I was sitting with Henry in a rocking chair, and he pooted.  He looked up at me with the biggest proud eyes and said "poot" and then laughed his head off.  THEN...he proceeded to hike up one leg and do it again.  I was laughing so hard...it was too funny.  I guess since I grew up with three brothers that bathroom humor doesn't bother me too much.  Now Henry even says the past tense "pooted"...oh boy!  I'm in for it!

Other fun firsts this month-
Turning around in a circle for dancing
Stomping
Using a fork (just starting this one...)
First time to see santa!
Loving Christmas this year (amazing to watch Christmas through his eyes)
Saying "no" to questions that we ask him sometimes now...oh boy starting the twos early?

I need to upload the pics from my camera but until now how about a cell phone pic of a pic?

Here is Henry sitting on Santa's lap!  He actually liked Santa and was talking to him.  I was so surprised!

 
And for those of you who don't read prayingforalittleone...Henry is a big brother!  Baby Sirmon is due July 25, 2011!!!  Praising God for this precious miracle!!  I will be blogging over here about my pregnancy so look for a post coming soon! 
 
         

What made you want to be a doula? Part One.

A common question that I'm getting right now as more of my friends are hearing that I'm training to become a doula (along with "what is a doula?"..dona.org has great info on that but I will address in another post) is "what made you want to be a doula?"  I really feel like in order to answer this question that I need to start back to why I desired a natural childbirth with Henry and what I've learned about my body since labor/delivery/breastfeeding.  So this is just part one :).

Growing up, my mother always spoke of her labor and deliveries so positively that she made me see labor and delivery as something to look forward to in the future.  I loved hearing her birth stories growing up (all four of them!) and how she described labor as "Christmas morning" for her.  I've always been proud of my mom for many reasons but lately I've come to an even greater appreciation of how she was willing to be different.  For example, my dad was the second dad to ever be allowed in the delivery room in our small town (because they asked!!) and my mom's labor and delivery nurse asked if she could watch my mom's first latch with breastfeeding because she "never saw that before."  I guess we have come a long way in some aspects of the l&d process since the 1970s :).  My mom's descriptions of her labor and contractions made me realize that this "pain" was different.  Labor "pain" is different than any other pain that we experience in our life because it is pain that actually means that something good is happening.  She explained to me often the importance of relaxing during a contraction as becoming tense made it so much worse.  I kept this advice in mind when I wanted to curl up in a ball with horrible menstrual cramps (thanks to endometriosis).  One of my favorite parts of my mom's first birth story with my brother Ethan is how she tells about how the first l&d nurse that saw her (checked her) told her that she wasn't in labor and how my mom knew that wasn't true.  I love how my mom believed her own body at such a young age when someone older and experienced was telling her differently.  I wish I could say that I had the same strength when it was my turn.  After experiencing a miscarriage and infertility, I felt that my body was broken and was extremely fearful that my body would not know what to do when it came to labor and delivery and breastfeeding.  I can remember answering people's questions about if I planned to breastfeed with "I definitely want to breastfeed if I can" as if my body literally wouldn't produce the milk (which by the way only happens in a very, very small percentage of women).  It would be like me saying that I definitely want to get some ice cream if I don't get struck by lightning on the way.  I will never forget a comment left on my blog by my friend from high school Elizabeth who is training to be a midwife (yay!) when I was in tears (okay sobs!) over another fingertip dilated vaginal check (which I now know was completely unnecessary...please read this article if you are preg) and the possibility of csection/induction.  She gave me the famous quote by Ina May Gaskin..."your body is not a lemon."  Oh how I wish I would have listened to the truth behind that quote.  I wouldn't have had an elective induction at 39 weeks.  I was so terrified of my body not acting correctly or the baby being "too big" that I would "need" a csection that I didn't listen to my gut or my friend.  For years, I dreamed of what labor and delivery would be like...making the phone call to shaun to come home from work because I was in labor...resting and breathing deeply in the arms of my hubby during labor...feeling every contraction and knowing we were one step closer to finally meeting our baby.  I didn't want to be propped up in a bed while everyone came to visit like it was a party completely unaware that a miracle was taking place.  Some women desire that type of labor and delivery and that is their choice (one of the reasons for the high csection rate), but it wasn't for me. 
Even though my birth story with Henry has some regrets, it was still the best day of our lives as we met our sweet Henry.  The time that we spent in labor were some of the most bonding moments in our marriage.  We just needed someone to help us along.  Someone who could have assured me that my body works and that I wouldn't carry Henry around for 11 months and to talk to my doctor about my options.  Someone who could have told me that I was in transition and that ten cm was right around the corner.  Someone who could have make sure that the music playing that was helping me so much would stay on (it kept turning off and shaun didn't have time to fix it in between contractions!) or done something with the alarm that kept going off.  Someone who could have gotten my nurse when I needed to go to the bathroom or to remind me that I needed to go (always hurt worse with a full bladder!).  Someone who could have given my poor hubby a break who rubbed me without time for food or drink for hours and hours (he told me later that this is part of the reason why he didn't try to encourage me to rethink the epi when I asked for it...oh and he had a pulled muscle in his back that hurt so bad the entire day and didn't say a word about it...wow.). 

I want to be that someone for couples in our area who are desiring natural childbirth.  I can't imagine what a joy it is going to be for me to guide my first couple through their labor and delivery and first latch.  And that is just one of the reasons why I want to be a doula :).          

14 Month Update (very late!!)

Before my sweet little boy turns fifteen months (what??!!), I wanted to take a moment to write down a few things that I don't want to forget from 14 months. I know I can write some long updates, but I'm going to try to keep this one as just a little summary :). October is getting away from me so fast (I keep writing this post and saving because I never have time to finish it so now it is like 3 days away from November…wow.). If you aren't a follower, you might want to also check prayingforalittleone as I'm posting a little more over there these days too.


Size: no weight or height update...still wearing 12-18 mo

Baby Signs: No new signs this month because mr. henry is moving on to words! He definitely still uses some of his favorite signs, but I haven't been teaching him any new ones. His favorite signs: keys (he made up the sign for this!! it looks like he is turning the key...so cute!!), airplane, bird, bath, more, please, book.

Words: Henry has really started talking this month, and it has been sooooo much fun. I love to hear his sweet voice....oh it just melts my heart!! I'm going to be annoying and list all of his new words but as I've said before this blog is my baby book so I use it for my record :). And yes, I had to start writing them down this month on a notepad on our kitchen counter.

baby, cheese, hot (one of his favs) choo choo (his favorite word), shoes, bus, truck, yay, ball, poopoo, spoon, book, grape, juice, yuck, chip, night night, go, balloon, gatti, teeth, belly button, keys (calls them da now he was saying keys), hello, three, bread, stuck (another fav), bubbles.


Book- Favorite book this month is any "choochoo" book...the boy is in LOVE with trains. It is so cute :).

Breastfeeding- Still going strong...not weaning yet because I don't want to, and I can tell Henry doesn’t either. He does seem to be able to tolerate goat's milk so I'm very happy that we have something to wean to now when we decide to someday.

Sleep--no comment. lol just kidding...but seriously sleep and henry just don't belong together in the same sentence :). I'm sure that good long afternoon nap will come someday....(and since this is a late update…he is starting to do a lot better now at almost 15 months).

A couple cute things:

Middle of the night talking—If Henry wakes in the middle of the night and I go in to see him, he immediately stops crying and starts talking. I sometimes wonder if he is telling me about his dreams…”choo choo” or “dada” “book” “mama” are some of his favs ;).

Snap—One day Shaun was snapping to some music, and Henry started trying to snap. He was moving his fingers and not hearing any sound so he started making the sound with his mouth while moving his fingers. He still does it sometimes if we start snapping…so cute :)

Pointing out dada/mama- Henry now loves to point out everybody in pictures around our house especially mama and dada. He especially loves our wedding photos and always says our names with the most excited voice.

Imagining- Henry is just starting imaginary play, and I’m so excited because imaginary play is so fun to me. The first time I ever noticed Henry pretending was when he went over to his music table and pinched like he was picking up some “food” and brought it over to me to “eat.”

I know I say it every month, but this really is such a sweet age. We are so love with our buddy. I can’t believe how big he is now. He really is such a little toddler now :)

No pics this time because I haven't uploaded them on my computer...will just have to put a bunch on the 15 mo update soon :)!

But here is an adorable video of a duet with my favorite two people in this entire world!  Hope you enjoy!  (Shaun is embarassed by his singing voice but I think he sounds great!)...And because it is in hd...half of the video is getting cut off because of the way my blog is formatted...so it might be easier to watch on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg7WC8ApqSs