Henry is having a really hard time in church nursery these days. I get paged EVERY Wednesday night and Sunday morning. I rush as fast as I can to the nursery to find my little man crying this awful cry. The only other times besides nursery that I've heard him cry like this is when he gets his shots so that should tell you how bad it sounds. It is impossible for him to fall asleep in nursery because he is not used to tuning out other babies crying and bright lights so I thought his crying was just related to being overtired. But this past Sunday, I got paged early in the service, and Henry was crying like crazy. I picked him up and cuddled with him in a rocking chair, and he immediately started getting happy. He was even smiling at the other nursery workers. They have been telling me for weeks that he is spoiled, and they have been begging me to go back to work (it always cracks me up when they say that!). I gave him back to a nursery worker, and he was being sweet and cuddling with her while I was in the room talking to them. I decided to try to leave the room to see how he would react since he was calm and happy again. They said he watched me the entire time I was leaving the room, and the moment I shut the door...he started screaming again. I guess this confirmed for me that he is having some separation anxiety issues. Part of me wants to just think that is the sweetest thing ever that he is upset because he doesn't have his mama, but the other part of me knows that it is best for him and for me to have a few moments away from each other. I can count on one hand the amount of times I have left Henry (except for church nursery) always for a short amount of time and the amount of bottles he has taken on two hands. We don't have any family in town, and it sure is a lot of money to hire a babysitter for the night, and I don't like to pump (excuses, excuses, excuses). I know we need to start getting better about planning some dates and maybe some mommy time twice a month or so. I have gotten pretty close to giving up on nursery for Henry and just keeping him with me at church, but I know he is going to have to go at some time so we might as well keep trying. Tonight I'm going to just drop him off for ten minutes so that he can have some play time and maybe I will just try to increase that time from week to week. Any advice on this??
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7 comments:
First of all, your little Henry is adorable! I have a baby girl who's about one month younger than Henry. Could you plan some outings where you leave Henry with his daddy for a few hours once per week while you go run errands or do something just for yourself? That way, you wouldn't have to spend money on a sitter and Henry can have some one-on-one time with Dad--and Henry will get some practice spending time away from you. You'd still probably have to pump, but just a bottle or two. :o) Hope this helps!
Oh, poor thing, I know! Emma has started that too-but all you can do is try to get them used to increments of time slowly. :D Hope it gets better-it's hard to concentrate at church when they are coming to get you!
I used to go to class with Chloe Jo and started leaving her at the beginning of the year. Tonight was the first night that she didn't cry when I left her in the class room. It's been awful because I can hear her from my classroom, but the fact that she is finally at a point where she will stay and is happy made the last couple of months totally worth it!
My advise isn't really advise, and it may not be good, but I'm reading "the wonder weeks". you can google what it's about - but basically it's about the emotional milestones they hit at certin ages (which my DS is going through one now and is really clingy). It just helps me understand what he may be going throuh and gives me hope that its temporary - that I'm not doing anything wrong, and that he will be okay.
when my guys started that we moved slowly, using daddy as a baby sitter, until they got used to not having mama ther 100% of the time. we don't do any kind of group child care right now, but after getting used to solo time with daddy, they have done better with other babysitters (in our case, grandparents, cousins & their aunt... all of whom spoil them rotten, but that's a different issue!) be patient, & keep trying! good luck!!
Oh I know that is so hard on you. My baby goes to daycare so I can't relate as much. But it does break my heart when I walk in to get him sometimes and he is crying. But I am sure it is temporary.
We too have started slow, like with daddy being the "babysitter" (as my DH likes to jokingly call himself)...like others said, so that they can get used to it not being 100% mommy. Daddy is someone they love and trust, not to mention YOU love and trust!
Then, moving to smaller times at the church nursery and so on.
But, this phase for both of mine was just that, a phase. Not that it breaks your heart any less when it's actually happening. Currently, my 12 month old is very clingy to mama, but once I'm out of site, she's fine. But 6 months ago, she would go over to someone fine, until she realized I wasn't there or I was leaving. So, it's gotten easier, just different.
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