I have several posts that I need to write including our ten year dating anniversary (yesterday), our first trip, and a funny poop story, but today those will have to go on the back burner because I need advice. Here is our current "schedule/routine"...it is not working, and I need some advice on how to fix it...any and all suggestions are welcome!
Our "morning" starts at around noon (as both of us finally sleep during the morning hours)- we do the eat, wake, sleep cycle every 2 1/2 hours (which is fine with me). Breastfeeding is going pretty well, but Henry does like to take cat naps during feeding, which makes it hard to wake him up to give him a full feeding (it takes effort, but I'm usually successful with a full feeding). He hates being on his back alone so I just lay him on the couch next to me until he wakes up for more. After his diaper change, Henry is awake and ready to party. He is very alert during his activity time, and he stays awake a lot longer than what the books say for his age
(around 45 mins after his feeding). I put him down as soon as he shows signs of being sleepy. Activities during the awake time--tummy time once a day, bouncy seat, bath, a walk outside). I've tried to put him down sooner wondering if he was overstimulated, but he just looks around his bassinet and coos and then as soon as it is time to sleep--the screaming starts. I will go in and comfort him several times and give him his paci, but he still stays awake and screams. Henry will nap great in my arms, his bouncy seat (sometimes), his carseat (if it is moving--like walking around the neighborhood or riding in the car), and an infant carrier (but I have to walk around the house the entire time- no sitting :). This pattern continues until the first "night" feeding at midnight.
After the midnight feeding- mom wants to go to bed! I want him on his back, alone, in his crib where he is safe. Henry looks like someone just gave him a shot of espresso at this feeding. (By the way I don't drink any caffeine at all so that isn't an issue). He stays wide awake like "you are not going to get me to sleep Mom!" And I don't! I go in a calm him down many times, and calms right down, but usually by the time I get to bed and maybe fall asleep...he is screaming again. This continues until it has been 2 1/2 hours, and I decide to go feed him again (around 2:30). Sometimes (on great nights) he is so tired at this feeding that he goes into a deep sleep, and we are both able to sleep for 2 hours. On a usual night, he acts like he is never eaten before and becomes a wild man-- extremely aggressive and clumsy, and he takes both of his hands and grabs my skin the entire time. It is during a feeding like this that I can definitely understand why women have trouble breastfeeding. Again, he is wide awake (too tired to calm himself down)--I've tried at this point to rock him into a deep sleep (doesn't really happen) or laying him down hoping he will fall asleep (doesn't happen). This trying to get him to sleep thing goes on for usually another hour. Last night, he didn't sleep at all so around 4 AM I got up and fed him on the couch, and we both finally fell asleep in a very uncomfortable position. Honestly, this is when we both start getting sleep. I'm not saying it is right...it is just all I can do at that point. Last night, we slept for about an 1 1/2 until he was ready to eat again. It is usually around 7 AMish that I give up! I lay him down next to me on the couch, and we sleep for several hours. Sometimes we will have a quick feeding in between but we usually sleep until noon. Today I fed him at 8ish, and he stayed awake forever but eventually fell asleep for 3hours. So this is our routine and obviously it isn't working. I know what a good routine should look like, but I don't know how to make it happen. I don't want to let him cry it out...he is too young (five weeks on friday). He is swaddled tightly at night, and he has a clean diaper before I put him down. I don't think it is reflux because he doesn't spit up that much, and he doesn't arch his back or scream right after a feeding. Okay so help??!!!!!!
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17 comments:
Courtney,
Emma likes to be held nonstop too until she finally falls asleep-I couldn't do anything! We got a sling by Infantino-at Babies R Us for 35 dollars. It is the BEST thing ever for her-now I can pop her in it, she feels like she is being held, and the motion of me walking soothes her to sleep super fast. I lay her down in her boppy still in the sling to take naps. Last night, my husband put the sling on, walked around, got her to sleep, then took her out to put her in the bassinet. You could try that-I don't think anyone has a real routine at 5 weeks old-we sure don't! Every day is different, but we generally sleep till 10 (or later!) then feed, nap, feed, nap, play, feed, nap, bath, feed, hopefully go down for night, feed, feed, feed, etc :D It is already getting easier, but some days are WAY harder!
Don't expect a routine with a 5 week old!! Honey, you are in "Survival Mode" and will be there until around 12 weeks! People told me with my baby that things would start to settle and we would get into a routine when she hit 3 months old. I heard what they said but at the time, it seemed it would NEVER happen! But sure enough my girl hit 3 months old and things started to even out and now she is 3.5 months old and we are in a good routine. HANG IN THERE and just know that it will be like this. It is life with a newborn and nothing can really prepare you for it! A good book to read is The Baby Whisperer. It is all about getting baby on a routine. It's good. Hang in there! It will get better - I promise!
Unfortunatly we like to think that we are in control when in all actuallity they are. It really sounds like he has his days and nights mixed up. I would try and attempt to tough it out for a day and start in the morning like at 7 or so (so you can have a few hours sleep) and open the curtains all the way and make it as bright in your house as possible. Go for a walk and get some fresh air, anything to keep him awake a little longer so he will sleep longer. Unfortunatly, like the other person who commented, it is really hard to have a schedule with a little one who is only a few weeks old. It does get way better (everything, nursing, sleeping, playing) around the 10-12 week mark. Just survive until then and sleep when he sleeps. The best advice to give you is that.
Oh yeah, keep in mind that the books you read don't fit each child. Both of mine were and still are totally different. The first was a horrible sleeper and still is at almost 5 and my youngest has been sleeping through the night since she was around 12 weeks old.
Thanks so much for the advice girls...very helpful...keep it coming!
Just wanted to clarify that I don't expect to really have a very set routine/schedule at this age...I'm mainly trying to figure out how I can get him to sleep in between feedings at night :)
Courtney,
Many people have told me that I was a harsh mom but my child has been falling asleep herself and sleeping all night since she was 6 weeks so I'll take the critism if get some sleep. Dont get me wrong, when she is sick or has a bad dream she wakes up crying I do go in there and calm her down but that is VERY rare. When she was 6 weeks I moved her from her cradle in our room to her crib. Also that is when we stopped feeding her at night. I would let her "cry-it-out" all night. It only took 2 days (which totally shocked me!) and those days were rough but so worth it in the long run! When TB would start crying I would go check on her and give her pappy back to her and then leave the room. If this happened more than 3 times in 1 hour I would not go back and I would just let her cry. I put her to bed around 7pm and I would wake her up at 7am (she's 2 now and sleeps from 7:30pm to 7am and to 9am on the weekends!) The first 2 nights she would wake up every three to four hours crying but then the time started spreading out and it worked itself out!
Not every parent can use this method so just try as many as it takes for you to get what works best for y'all! I will be praying for you, Henry and daddy to get some sleep and to be happy!
Everyone has good advice... and you will find your rhythm. You are Henry's mom so you will figure out what works best.
And this stage, while it feels like forever, is short (in the grade scheme of things) and soon when he gains a little weight he will sleep more. A doctor told me they need to be around 12 lbs or so before they start sleeping longer, so pump him full of milk!
Seriously though, good luck and hang in there!
Maybe he doesn't like to be swaddled. Not all babies need to be wrapped up tight.
Try a warm bath earlier in the evening as a bedtime routine.
As frustrating as it is, you are fine without a routine - he's so young and little and fun!! Really we didn't get a good routine til like 3 months or so...it really just seemed to magically happen! I know it is hard and rough not to have good sleep. One thing we did was I'd pump and have some milk in the fridge and Brad would feed Katie a bottle before he went to bed so I could get a good 4-5 hour of sleep in a row...even doing that every couple nights help - it's amazing what a little extra sleep can do for a new mommy!! Have you been to anyone else's house that has other swings/baby things? Maybe he just doesn't really get into the things yall have for him (already picky!!)...just a thought. Another thought is to really stick to a good 1.5-2 hr feeding interval during the day so maybe he won't have to eat as often at night. Hmm...I'll keep thinking on it!!
I am going though close to the same exact thing that you are right now. And as you know our babies are the same exact age since they were born on the same day. Its colic. Caitlyn has it bad. Screaming all the time and she also wont sleep unless she is held. So as bad as it is I hold her. I cant not sleep so I do what I have to so that I can get a few hours of sleep. I bet its his tummy buggin him something awful. Have you tried gas drops yet? Ive been having to give them to caitlyn and it really helps. You can google colic and get some good info. Im really suprised that no one mentioned this. My son had colic as well. Unfortunatly colic can last for sometime. And your arms might break by the time you are done. Also another suggestion. Im not sure when you are changin his diaper but what I do is feed on one breast (or give half of the bottle) then change her diaper and clothes if need be. Then I feed her on the other breast or the half of the bottle. This helps to keep her not agiated while changin. Its crazy something so cute can scream loud enough to make your ears bleed huh? I know its hard. Im dealing as well. But I know you can do it. Throw the schedule out the window and do like the other girl said be in survival mode. If he wants to eat a bit more then feed him a bit more even if it isnt time. He could be having a little growth spurt & be extra hungry. Also have you tried using a pacifer yet? that could help him stay asleep as well and its also supp to help prevent SIDS.
Brooke...I feel sorry for your poor baby. You dont starve a baby at 6 weeks. They need to eat no matter what time it is. I would never be selfish & let my baby not eat all night long just so I could sleep. That is the saddest thing I have ever heard & I can't believe someone could actually be that selfish. Did you ever stop & think that the reason she was waking up every 3 to 4 hours is because she was hungry!! I am sure that any doctor will tell you that is beyond cruel & could even be considered neglect in some states.
Im sorry Court Im not trying to be mean but that really upset me to the point of crying & I had to express my feelings. Hugs Aubrey
Wow you got some interesting answers....I am always believed in feeding them anytime they were hungry...Just blog hopping and enjoyed yours tonight...
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sounds like my kendra!!! i'm subscribing to comments so i can also learn.
actually, she's not as bad. we've found feeding her whenever she wants works. i think they're too small for anything but a really loose routine. we take things one day at a time.
where's nick with all this? can you express and have him do a feed or two?
Courtney,
I have been a lurker for awhile. I also have a new little one- 1 month tomorrow. I was also experiencing some sleep issues with my son. I just got the book The Baby Whisper Solves All your Problems- By Teaching you how to ask the Right Questions. I know that you mentioned one of her other books earlier but I think this one might help you more- It has a whole section on sleep problems- and what to do- It also has a technique for getting them to sleep at all times- She calls it the 4 S's - setting, swaddling, sitting and the shhing and patting. I tried it for the first time last night- and for the first two naps this morning- and it has worked GREAT! It took my son about 20 minutes to fall asleep after his night feeding- but then he stayed asleep until 7. Hope that helps.
Sarah
My baby (who is now 6 months) had colic and acid reflux and we experienced a lot of the same things you are. He ended up doing all of his sleeping in his carseat for about 2 months, and then I gradually transitioned him to his crib. I think being propped up and snuggled in his seat felt more comfortable, and definitely helped his reflux. He might have "silent reflux", which means the acid is coming up his throat and hurting, but he won't spit it up. You can talk to your ped about prescription Zantac, etc...we used it and I think it's a common remedy. Also, do you have a loud fan or noise machine to use while he sleeps? He might be comforted by the noise and it will become a sleep "cue". I think a sling is a good suggestion too if he'll sleep while you carry him. My baby's fussiness peaked at 6-7 weeks, so hang in there!
I would just like to clarify that my daughter was ready to sleep through the night and it was her pediatrician that told me to start trying to get her to sleep through the night at that age. My daughter was eating 10 ounces of milk mixed with rice every night and her dr said that was more than enough to keep her full through the night. I was concerned at first also and I did not sleep any from worrying but she did fine and she is still fine! That's why I said earlier that this might not work for you! You need to talk to your child's pediatrician first and make sure that your child is eating enough before bedtime to last all night.
Courtney, Zack is 2 weeks older than your Henry and was on a nearly identical routine. Now he is sleeping longer, and every few days will go to bed by 11-12, but other days we're up until 3, 4, 5 am.
Right at 6 weeks he started sleeping longer stretches (up to 7 hours) -I don't know if he just got big enough or if the Zantac is helping (he's still fussy in the early evenings).
Pretty much everything I had has been mentioned-pump a bottle so hubby can take a feeding and let you get some sleep, try gas drops, talk to the pedi about reflux. I just wanted to empathize with you and let you know you will feel much better if you get a few uninterrupted hours of sleep.
Amy (Impossiblewoman from Webmd)
I don't claim to have any fixes for any other mom's problems, however the best advice I got for those early weeks of parenthood was "Get through this week, next week will be TOTALLY different".
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