For This Little One(s) We Prayed

Kate 5 Months and Henry 2 1/2ish :)

2012-01-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

I still feel like life is still so crazy right now so much going on with trying to get a rental house here (virtually impossible) and trying to sell our house in Mississippi (also seems almost impossible...but we almost have a contract!). We will be moving all of our stuff over (yay! I will finally have my kitchen stuff and clothes and rocking chair--can't wait to rock Kate!!!) this coming week so everything kinda needs to be decided and changed over (utilities etc) by the end of next week. I will just warn y'all in advance that this post isn't going to flow and is going to be all over the place because I'm going to try to type it in 5-10 mins. I love love looking back on Henry's baby updates so I just wanted to blog a little about miss sweet kate at 5 months. She is still such a happy baby. I love how easily she smiles :) and now how often she giggles. I just don't think there is anything better than baby giggles. It is amazing how fast a baby giggle can make everything better. Kate is such a good lap baby. As long as she is sitting in mama's lap, she is content as she can be! This makes eating out etc so much easier. She still gets up several times a night but that is fine with me because I know it won't last forever ;). In fact, she just got up, and I had to nurse her back to sleep. Poor Kate has her first cold, and she is just pitiful at night. I think I might tell Shaun to sleep on the couch tonight because I'm anticipating a long night. Kate has started the extra cute baby talk "babababa" and maybe "dadadda" today...no mamama yet...can't wait for that! She is now doing push ups when she is on her belly and somehow starting to move herself away from her mat. No crawling yet though...I bet she will be closer to 7 months. Kate is getting close to being able to sit independently but not there yet. Guessing that will be more of a six month milestone. It is so crazy to that it is almost time to start solids. Can't believe it!! I'm going to try to make my own baby food this time so I need to get ready for that and buy a high chair off craigslist for Kate. Speaking of craigslist...I don't know if I will ever buy anything baby equip new again. Amazing the deals that you can get on there!

And now for a little Henry update. Henry is seriously cracking me up. I love love this age. He is starting to become more conversational with his language like responding to questions with "okay" or "yeah" or just answering the question. It is so funny to hear what comes out of his sweet little mouth. Like the other day, he came up to me and said "Hey Mama, how's it goin?" Lol. Where did he get that from? He is also starting to quote favorite lines from Cars or tv shows like "Rusteez! wow! Look at that shine!" Henry is getting into imaginary play. Oh how I love love imaginary play so I'm really enjoying this new stage. I love listening to him play independently as he is staring to give his race cars their own voices. Henry has had a couple nightmares recently, and I feel so sorry for him but I love that he can tell me now what happened in the nightmare. The most common issue is that there is "a big robot in there." He loves robots, but I could see how they could be pretty scary in a nightmare. Most of the time, Henry is a super sweet big brother to Kate, and they already have such a sweet brother/sister relationship. They love each other so much, and it is so fun to hear them giggle with each other. Henry can't stand it for Kate to be asleep so he tries his best to sneak in and wake her up. This doesn't make mama very happy, but I can't be upset for long as she always gives him a big smile when he wakes her up :).
I so need to upload pics and back up pics, but I just don't have the time right now. I will do it when we get settled in our new house.
But here is a cell pic of Kate (she is actually 4 months in this pic but it is the most recent one I have on fb to grab :) Such a princess already :)

And here is an old pic from our birth center tea...when she was just two months old. Where's Kate? Who can find her?

2011...A Year in Review

2012-01-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

Every year since I started blogging, I've taken a little time to write a year summary. It is always fun to look back on a year to see all that has happened/changed. I honestly considered not writing a year in the review about 2011. I'm actually feeling a little nauseous even starting to write this post, and I might delete it once I'm finished (guess I didn't if you are reading this). 2011 was not an easy year. at all. I'm going to say that it was definitely our hardest yet. We learned a lot and we had the wonderful blessing of Miss Kate, but it was still a very tough year. Some of the details especially concerning Shaun's job loss etc, I can't discuss on a public blog, but I will do my best to at least share what we have been through and what God has taught us through it.

Jan-early May- 2011 started out great! We were enjoying Kate's pregnancy (despite being very tired) and found out to our surprise that we were having a girl. We loved watching Mr. Henry grow and learn as he began to talk. And I had started doula training and attended 3 births as a doula that honestly changed my life. We loved our church and Mississippi, and we were really getting comfy. We really seemed to put life on cruise control and were living paycheck to paycheck while enjoying eating out and having fun. I can remember vividly going out on payday to Bonef.ish Grill and even though we shared an entree...we were living it up. Little did we know that would be our last full paycheck and our last payday for a while.

Some day in early May (I have completely blocked out what day thank goodness), I was busy scrubbing our guest bedroom toilet as we were expecting overnight guests when I received what I thought was going to be my normal "hey honey, I'm on my way home" phone call from Shaun. I immediately could tell something was wrong, but I couldn't believe it when I heard the words, "I think I might have just been fired." To say that I was shocked was in understatement. My immediate thought was okay this can't be happening...I'm sure he is just overreacting and everything is fine, but as I heard more details on how they treated him on his way out, I started to realize that this was for real. It was one of those moments where you can't catch your breath and your heart is beating out of your chest. Thankfully our overnight company was wonderful company, and we were in such shock that we could almost go on that night as if nothing happened (we decided not to tell them as we were still very much processing what was going on ourselves). It felt like my last chance to be normal so I took full advantage of it. There were moments in the evening where it stung a little, but we were doing okay. Then it was time for bed. What is it about bedtime that makes everything feel so much worse? I guess the lack of distraction. We didn't sleep. I was big prego at this point and was so tired from cleaning etc but I just couldn't sleep. I know there was some praying and talking but for the most part it was just awake silence. We were feeling so many emotions at once...shocked, angry, betrayed, scared. I was probably more scared than anything. Shaun was broken. The most heartbreaking moment of our marriage so far was watching my husband get ready for "work" to drive down the road to a gas station to wait to save face for our overnight company. I wish I could explain more what happened with his job but obviously I can't. What I can say is that my husband is the hardest worker I know and an extremely talented engineer and that he shouldn't have been let go. Shaun is a company guy. He doesn't just work for himself to get a paycheck and call it a day. He works above and beyond to get the job done so that his company is successful. So the not having a paycheck part wasn't all of it...we took it personally. It was/has been/is a struggle to not be bitter and angry. Now that I know how God has used this in our life, it definitely makes it easier to not be bitter but to be honest there are still times when it comes up. The days to follow were very difficult. We went from bone.fish to w.ic (living paycheck to paycheck is not a good idea...just fyi) and the medicaid office to try to get insurance for my pregnancy (cobra is sooooo expensive). Shaun was so strong and God gave him so much grace to handle the situation and to lead me because I was a mess. I can try to blame it on the pregnancy hormones but I probably would have been the same way regardless. It honestly felt similar to a death in the family. I can remember one day early on when it all started to hit me while Henry was taking a nap, and I just cried and cried...it was so ugly and Shaun held me through the whole thing. I can remember being amazed how fast Shaun would jump up and run to Henry when he fell or got hurt. I guess he couldn't deal with anymore and was just holding tight to us to make sure we were okay. Thankfully, we already scheduled a yard sale with some great friends of ours that we were going to do just to make room for baby #2. Of course, now it was for food to eat and to pay for a mortgage so we sold everything that we could. It was a few days after our sale that Shaun's job loss became public and our church family and local friends and family really came through for us. God taught us a lot through the unbelievable generosity of others. There were anonymous gift cards to grocery stores, a yard sale for us, money, baby gifts, job references, meals...it was so humbling and amazing to see God work through others to bless us and to provide. We learned a lot about giving through receiving. I never realized before how difficult it is to receive. We were able to make each mortgage june, july and august and to pay all bills (except student loans). We were really amazed. God also provided many job leads and interviews. This was so comforting because the job market was/is so rough out there that I was very concerned about how Shaun was going to get another job. It was practically a full-time job to find a job, but there was still a lot of down time to spend together. The time that we were able to spend together was special. But of course there was always an underlying stress, and this led to some difficulty of us getting along many times during the three months without employment. You know it is bad when you feel guilty for going out to eat at burger king and you only get one drink and split the fries. Shaun and I both still don't like for Henry to watch "thomas and friends" (good thing he is all about curious george these days) because it literally makes us sick to hear it as it takes us back to that time. Isn't it weird how smells/sounds etc can do that? And that old saying "when it rains, it pours" is soooo true. There was a rough stomach bug, ob drama, a time that I lost my keys in walmart and had to stay there with henry (without a nap) for literally like five hours or so (shaun didn't want to call the locksmith bc it would cost money that we didn't have), and many more stories that we can laugh about now. I'm sure I looked straight out of the people of walmart blog...30 something weeks pregnant HUGE chugging a 2 quart orange juice in the middle of the store with a toddler in my cart...ha!

Late July-Early August "We are not moving to Dall.as." I quickly realized that I could say that we weren't all day long but it was obvious that God wanted us to move, and he wanted us to move right away. I didn't know if I should hope to go into labor or just go on to Dall.as. The only thing on my brain at that moment was having a baby...how could it not be at 39 weeks pregnant?! So I googled birth centers...found one that would take me...stared at the gorgeous surroundings and huge tub to labor and started to think "hey maybe this isn't so bad after all?" this post and this post really explains the craziness of waiting for Kate, but she was well worth the wait and so was the birth experience. I would love to labor like that again and hope that I get the opportunity to!

August-December- Adjusting to living in a new big city hasn't been easy either but it sure beats unemployment :). And there is a lot of fun to be had in discovering a new city together as a family. It has also bonded us together even more as we really have had no one to rely on except God and each other. It hasn't been pretty at times for Shaun and me...just too much stress. But I feel like we are becoming a stronger couple for having to work through these rough spots. This year felt like boot camp for marriage. Henry and Kate keep it fun :), and I've so enjoyed being at home with them. Shaun works really long hours with his job so I have to do a lot on my own (the bath time/night time routine is the hardest). I try to keep things simple for me, Henry and Kate, and I've honestly enjoyed so much the down time with my precious babies. We've also gone through some rough times this fall as well. We thought for probably about the entire month of August that Kate had a serious condition that showed up on a newborn screen. Further testing revealed that the first newborn screen was a false positive and that the second newborn screen came back normal and someone just didn't READ the results correctly. Oh my. if they only knew how emotional and stressed I was taking these two kiddos postpartum around the city to get labs on my "sick" newborn. And then in October, Shaun came home with the crazy news that his job was/is moving to cali. But God has been so good and has provided another position within the company still here in D.allas that he has accepted so we are thankfully staying.

Are you still with me? If you are, I'm impressed :). I'm glad I took the time to write all of this down. It was good for me to get it out and reflect. So in summary...some of the lessons learned of 2011:

1. God is faithful to provide

2. The money/job isn't ours to begin with...be responsible with the money that God has entrusted us

3. Bitterness only brings you down...let it go.

4. Receiving is hard

5. Be thankful for the health of our family

6. Don't get comfortable/cruise control through life

7. God has a plan (Jeremiah 29:11) but that doesn't mean that it won't be tough to go through it

8. We are blessed.

And the pic of 2011.....This pic means a lot to me as this was right after Shaun placed Kate on my chest. It was obviously incredibly special as it was the birth of our sweet baby girl, but it also felt like a new beginning of our life together as a family in Texas.

Tips for the 1 to 2 Transition

2011-12-05T20:19:00.000-08:00

(Kate 4mo post below)

The transition from one to two scared me big time so while I was pregnant I asked friends/strangers for advice on transitioning from one to two kiddos and most of the time I got a blank stare while crickets chirped in the background :). I took this as not a good sign of what was to come...

Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as I thought but was still pretty rough. So before my memory of the newborn days with Kate becomes a complete blur, I thought I would write down a few tips.

1. Wake baby when your toddler wakes--You have to get out of bed anyways so you might as well wake baby. This well help your sweet newborn to be ready for bed when it is bedtime for your toddler (7 am/ 7pm etc).

2. Start baby nighttime routine at the same time as toddler's--I give Kate a bath in her bath tub on the counter while Henry takes a bath in the same bathroom. This just helps with getting them both down for the night around the same time. I treasure that 2-3 hours that I get by myself at the end of the night to veg out/recharge.

3. Take a walk outside every day--Amazing how much this helped in the beginning when I just didn't have the energy to go out a lot with them both. Kate was pretty fussy in the mornings so getting a 30 minute walk where my baby and toddler were both happy was wonderful. Sunshine is good for the baby blues too!

4. Shower before your hubby leaves for work- Get that shower or it is not going to happen. I made it a habit to get a shower before Shaun left for work, and it made such a difference to be showered and dressed to make it through the morning hours without feeling so tired.

5. Treasure the one-on-one time with your toddler- You are going to miss your toddler. As silly as that may sound as you will be with him/her all day, but it is just not the same. If you see a moment where baby is asleep and you can take your toddler to read a book in your lap etc...do it.

6. Buy a few new books that you know your toddler will love- Shaun found a book right before we had Kate for Henry that was one of those "first 1000 words books." Henry loved loved looking at that book, and it helped for him to have something to do on the couch with me while I nursed Kate. Thank goodness for that book.

7. High chair time- I only turn the TV on (with rare exceptions) when Henry is in his high chair so he loves staying in his high chair for a decent amount of time which gives me a few minutes that I don't have to worry that Kate is being sat on etc. When Kate was a tiny newborn, Henry was in his high chair probably like four or five times a day (3 meals and 2 snack times). It is survival mode so it is okay :).

8. Lay down with baby during your toddler's afternoon nap/quiet time-Oh how you will love that one on one time with your baby. You aren't going to want to do anything "productive" so don't. Seriously let the house go. Hold your baby, feed your baby and most importantly get some sleep with your baby. No guilt. You need that bonding time.

9. Do what works- Similar to above...do what works...no guilt. And there is no such thing as spoiling a baby so just enjoy your baby.

10. Never rush- I have found that the worst thing you can do with two and what will get you into all kinds of trouble is to rush. It will stress you out big time. It is okay if you are late. Just take.your.time. You are probably going to have to nurse in the parking lot of Walmart and then inside walmart, and your shopping trip might seriously take three hours but that is okay. Try not to have anything on the agenda except survival and baby/toddler hugs and kisses.

Kate 4 Months

2011-12-05T19:15:00.000-08:00

Well I missed a 3 month post, but I'm trying to blog whenever I can find the time (little harder with two). I'm hoping that I can get back in the habit of blogging because it is so fun to be able to look back on posts especially from the first year as they change so much. I've really enjoyed reading about Henry as baby and comparing it to Kate. It is so funny how alike they are in some ways and completely different in other ways. It is also funny to see how my parenting style etc is evolving.

Size: No idea on weight (4 month checkup in a few days), 6 mo clothes, size 2 diapers

Kate is such a sweetie pie :). We all (including Henry) just love her to bits and enjoy having her around. She is constantly bringing a smile to our faces as she is always smiling. It is so easy to get her to smile...you pretty much just have to look at her. Kate has started giggling this past month, and I don't think there is a sweeter sound. I remember hearing Henry's first giggles and how they warmed my heart and Kate's do the same :). Just tonight Henry got her to giggle for him for the first time. Every time he "bounced" her in her bouncy seat (don't worry I was right there and she was strapped in), he would say "boing boing," and Kate would giggle. It is so fun to see them interact. I know there is definitely more to look forward to with the sibling love/fights/talks etc etc. Shaun was holding her on Saturday night at a restaurant so I could finish eating, and he just looked at me and said "Courtney, I just love her so much." It was such a sweet moment :). This is the age where it definitely starts to get a little easier and everyone is able to enjoy baby even more. The biggest milestone from this month would be that Kate rolled over. And I missed it!! I put Kate down on her back on her playmat, and Shaun walked in and said "um Courtney come look at Kate." It was pretty funny :)..she was not even close to her mat (see pic below!). She is also now grabbing and holding/playing with her toys.

Favorites: She loves watching her brother. Loves listening to me sing (got some really cute giggles from "I'm a little teapot" today). And she loves girly toys already...call me crazy but seriously I can tell she already likes the pink stuff. If I'm in a race car toy aisle with Henry, she shows absolutely no interest. Stroll around to her aisle and her face lights up and she smiles :).

Sleep- She sleeps in her bassinet for the first part of the night 7-11:30ish and then sleeps with me and drinks as she pleases the rest of the night. It works for me and works for her so for now I'm great with it!

Eating: Such a little distracted eater the last week or two. It is pretty funny and of course frustrating at times. She will pop off at the slightest little sound and look at me like "what was that mama?" Unlike mr.henry's 4 month post, we will not start solids this month. So funny to me that I gave Henry baby food at this age....I can't imagine giving Kate baby food already.

Summary: Thankful that we are getting to an easier stage! But Kate...please stop growing up so fast!

Now for some pics :)....grabbed these from my phone...haven't uploaded pics from my camera in a long time.

My Ballerina

Looks so much like Henry!

Had to include one of my little buddy :)...he is wearing dada's hat

Here is the roll over I missed...did she crawl too??

Henry loves to play with his little sis

Kate- 2 months

2011-10-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

I feel bad that I'm not getting to blog as much as I did when Henry was a baby so I'm going to try to make a habit of just posting quick posts when I have a chance. I want to be able to go back and read about Kate as a baby because I know I won't remember it (why is that the newborn stage is especially this way??...probably because you are low on sleep).

Oh how I love my sweet Kate. She is just miss precious. She is a little talker and will talk to anyone who will listen. She loves diaper changes and baths (totally the opposite of Henry who hated diaper changes as a little baby) and will go from screaming to cooing in about two seconds when I start to change her. Kate also smiles sooo easily. Pretty much if you just look at her, she will give you a cheesy grin. She smiles so much with her eyes that she almost shuts them. She already loves Henry, and he loves her...so fun to see their interaction. She loves to be held and will only tolerate the swing, bouncy seat etc for very short amounts of time. Kate loves her dada and gives him extra smiles and cooing. I can tell that Shaun has really started to bond even more with Kate over the last couple weeks. She already has him wrapped around her tiny little finger. I just had to switch her clothes to 3 months, and she is in size two diapers!! Growing up way too fast already. She is such a blessing in our lives!!

I look back from the posts with Henry around this time (same time of year as they were born two days apart!), and it is so funny to me (and a little sad) to see how stressed I was as a new mom. I have such a different perspective this time because I know from having Henry just how fast this stage goes by. I am really just letting the apartment go and focusing on my sweet little ones because there will be time to clean later. I'm not in a rush for her to sleep through the night or to take naps alone. I just want to hold her and soak her up. I feel so much more stable emotionally this time than with Henry. I actually believe for me that the natural birth helped for my hormones to be more stable even Shaun noticed and said that he was thinking the same thing. I also think that her birth helped me trust my instincts as a mother. I have thrown every book etc out the window and have focused on asking myself what I would have done if I didn't have any outside influences etc. I don't like mom labels like attachment etc, but I'm just more willing this time to just let her be a tiny baby who needs her mama a good amount of the day/night. And just a little update on Henry...he is doing so well with being a big brother. Very proud of him!! He continues to be an incredible mess maker. I know everyone thinks I'm just talking about a typical two year old boy mess, but I'm not...it is amazing. And I can guarantee that he can make a bigger mess than any toddler. I wonder what his room is going to look like as a teenager???!! eek. I'm just picking my battles right now and not sweating the small stuff (or the big messes). Henry continues to become more and more verbal every day, and I love to hear the sweet words that come out of his mouth especially what he says to Kate. "shake and bake Kate" (while giving a fist bump) "it's okay kate...I know."

I love my babies!! And I'm so thankful for this season in my life where I really don't have many activities or places to be other than being with my kids and enjoying them (or tolerating them...yes I have my moments:) ).

Birth Story

2011-08-31T19:37:00.000-07:00

This birth story is going to be detailed and will have lots of tmi so only read if you are okay with that...you have been warned :).

Moving to a new state two days before your due date might be the exact definition of crazy but that is exactly what we did :). We really had to make a hard decision as we knew that Shaun had to start a new job (couldn't miss orientation) on August 1st which was exactly one week past my due date. I really thought at the time that I would have her by then but there were no guarantees, and my cervix had not changed at all. I started to wonder if I was really meant to have Kate in Texas all along. When I went through my doula training six weeks pregnant with Kate one little activity that we did was to describe our ideal/dream birth. I knew exactly what I wanted and that was a birth at a birth center close to a hospital with a giant tub and highly skilled and trained midwifes. At that time, I thought there would be no way possible that I could have that kind of birth as there are no birth centers in Mississippi. Shaun and I talked and prayed it over and felt a peace that could only come from God that we needed to go. I can't remember how many days it was between making that decision and leaving Mississippi, but it couldn't have been more than a couple days. We literally got a copy of my medical records, made a hotel reservation, packed up the van with as much as we could and left.

My first appointment with the birth center was on my due date. It was a long appointment as they went through my entire medical history, but it felt absolutely wonderful to be in that place. It was fun to think about all of the sweet miracles that had taken place in that old house (birth center was in a redone Victorian home) as I looked around at all of the precious footprints of the babies born on the wall. There was so much excitement building inside of me as I realized I was literally due any day and that I was finally in the place that we would meet Kate. And then we waited...

The birth center that I went to has a very good relationship with their backup obs and hospital that is blocks away, which is one of the things that I liked about this birth center. But it also made it difficult since I was overdue as I was on an ob's time clock and felt very pressured to have Kate asap. We had an ultrasound to check on her at the ob's office and since everything was great...it bought me a few more days. The midwives set Friday (Monday was 42 weeks) as a "labor start" day if I didn't have her before then because they couldn't let me go any longer.

Friday morning, I woke up feeling crampy...my back hurt...and I had a bloody show. I was thankful to see that my body was cooperating with everyone else's timeline, and we took our time going in to the birth center for the "labor start." We got to the birth center and met a really sweet friend of a friend, Emily, who picked up Henry for us and took such great care of him (even took him to a fire station...he didn't miss us at all!). The midwives wanted me on the monitor for a hour to check on Kate since we were post-term, and they also checked me at that time (3 cm). I wasn't hurting at this point at all so I was just laying on the bed talking to Shaun and sipping on the grape juice with crushed ice that they brought me (yummy!! my fav drink...has to be welch's though!!). After a hour on the monitors, the midwife (she was a CNM) came back and checked me and I was now 4 cm and Kate looked great on the monitors. Since they wanted me to have my baby for sure that day, they asked if they could break my water (I don't think I really had a choice at almost 42 weeks!) and I agreed. After a little bit more monitoring, they sent us off to walk and to get lunch (I had to wear a depends as anyone who has ever had their water broken knows it just keeps coming). Traffic was horrible and we had to be back in a hour so we had a quick lunch at chip.otle (yum), and there was no time for a walk. The midwife checked me again when I got back, and I was 4 1/2 cm. So I progressed 1/2 cm in a hour. Well at this point I was feeling very discouraged as I could tell active labor really hadn't fully kicked in as my contractions were not getting stronger, and I knew I was on a serious time clock with having my water broken. They told us to go downstairs to the birth room (which is a huge ridiculously nice bedroom/bathroom with comfy furniture and built in speakers for music and a giant bathtup :) to get settled in for the day. Once in the birth room, a different midwife came in to talk to us. Let's just say that this pep talk was NOT helpful at all and that Ina May is soooo right about how emotions/negative words etc can stop labor. To quote the midwife, "Courtney 1/2 cm in a hour...we are not impressed...we can only give you a few more hours before you are going to have to get transferred to the hospital." She instructed us to do nipple stimulation for 30 minutes to get labor going and mentioned that it works for almost all of their past due labor starts to get a labor pattern going. Shaun knew I was upset. He was upset. She was really rude (or came across that way to us), and we were pretty surprised. Shaun tried to make me feel better by saying that maybe she was just trying to get me fired up, but it was too late...the damage was done. I knew I had to let go of everything that just went on and all of the pressure I felt to labor so we put on my labor music playlist and got in some comfortable clothes/lit the labor candles and well...had our session :). We laughed for awhile about how absolutely crazy it was but then it just felt normal and was a very special intimate time for us to be alone and to get to talk about this new exciting chapter in our lives. I'm sure there was some oxytocin involved but I didn't have a single.contraction....not one. Nothing. So I knew when the midwives came to check in on us that there would be no change. Kate was still high in my pelvis so they got me to do some deep squats. It was encouraging to hear that once her head was down during a squat that I was six centimeters, but we needed some stronger contractions to get her head down on to my cervix. At this point, we were given two options. We could try a half dose of cyto.tec there, or we could go to the hospital for pitocin. I obviously didn't like either of these ideas, but I knew I had to pick one as my water was broken. Shaun asked if we could take some time to go power walk around the park next to the birth center before making the decision. We walked....and I had a few contractions but again nothing. At this point, I was soooo done emotionally. I think I cursed a few times and then had a big talk at the bathroom sink with God where I just gave it all to Him. I was really concerned about using cyto.tec because of the fda warnings that I had read, but we talked it over with the midwives and felt comfortable as they only use a very small dosage and then they actually half that pill before they insert it. But if that didn't work, we already decided that we weren't going to do a second dosage of cyto.tec and were going to go to the hospital. The labor assistant got me on the belts (yes they have the ability to monitor just like the hospital), and I had to lay in the bed for 30 minutes for the pill to dissolve vaginally. At about ten minutes in, I started to feel crampy again. I think this might have just been my own body starting to kick in again as the labor assistant said that it shouldn't work that quickly. And then a little after 5:00 PM, I had my first big contraction and knew that I had to get out of that bed asap. They wanted to make sure to have a good strip on the monitors, and I understood that....but there was NO way I was staying in that bed. Labor is 100X more painful when you are laying in bed. I consider it torture. Next contraction came, and I jumped out of the bed and leaned over. I knew they could still monitor me in that position so I didn't hesitate for a second. Shaun asked me what massage lotion I wanted, and I was already annoyed at having to answer a question so I knew that I was for real in labor then :). He massaged my lower back, which is what I liked during Henry's labor and what felt the best this time too. These contractions were very powerful, and I had a difficult time working with them as they came out of nowhere. We didn't have a slow buildup to get into a rhythm together so I was just having to go with it and Shaun was too :). Only after a few contractions, the midwife (this is NOT the midwife who was rude...thank goodness) checked me again and said that baby's head had already moved all the way down. Everyone was very relieved. I decided that the contractions were feeling like they were working way too fast so I got on hands and knees on the bed. At this point, I looked over to the sweet labor assistant and asked "how soon can I get in the tub??" She said that it would take ten minutes to fill the tub, and she went right away to start filling it up. Ten minutes sounded like a really long time to fill up a tub at the time :). Contractions at this point were probably coming every 2-3 minutes. I wasn't getting much of a break at all. The labor assistant came to tell me that the tub was ready, and I think I ran to the tub while taking off my nightgown. Modesty was gone. There was only one thing on my mind at that time and that was focusing on getting this sweet baby out. And oh that tub felt amazing. They call it the midwife's epidural...and it was for sure. I felt so much better in the water especially between contractions. I wasn't really sure what position to get into in the tub at first. The labor assistant (I'm going to call her D from now on) said that some moms like to lay all the way back into the water. I tried that position but then immediately went into a kneeling position because it felt so much better. Shaun was continuing to massage my back and encouraging me while putting cold rags around my neck. I was really hot at this point (nearing transition) so the washcloths felt great. I remember thinking to myself in the tub and then saying out loud "this has to be transition right??!!" "I need to know how much longer this is going to be?" They always replied back with there is no way to know without checking you, but you are probably getting close. I was a very vocal laborer which surprised me but I felt so comfortable with Shaun, D, and midwife that I just let it all hang out. Shaun said that some times when a contraction first started I would let out a little high pitch noise while tensing but then he would remind me to make "birth sounds" and "that's it...let it out." I remember being surprised and amused that he was telling me that but it really was helpful to be reminded (making lower groans etc is better for labor...high pitch means you are tensing)...he really has soaked up a lot of labor knowledge over the last two years :). I thought a lot during labor about the three women that I had supported through labor and how strong they all were and that inspired me to keep going. I also prayed outloud a few times. D kept telling me to blow out breaths when she could see me tensing too much during contractions, and this really, really helped and felt good. And then D did the double hip squeeze on me, and I could not believe how good it felt!! It seriously almost took all of the pain away. Shaun attempted the next contraction but I ended up asking D to please do it again :). There was a point when that was no longer helpful (probably after 4 contractionsish), and it felt better to have them help me sway my hips back and forth. All that I have talked about so far was probably 45 minutes or less. And then I had my "transition moment" (almost every woman has it and from a doula perspective you always know it is a good sign). I said, "this was a BIG mistake!!"...and I didn't mean the cyto.tec (as Shaun thought I meant)...I meant natural childbirth, birth center, being a doula etc etc. All of a sudden...I felt like I had to go poo right away so I told them, and they took me over to the toilet. It was a little more difficult than I expected to poo but I was able to, and I knew this meant baby was probably coming soon. I buried my head into Shaun during the contractions on the toilet, and he held me tight which felt really good. The hardest contraction I ever had was going from the toilet back to the tub. I collapsed into Shaun and didn't know what to do with all of the pressure I was feeling while standing so I started doing horse lips, which helped tremendously. I remembered later that this was a Ina May Gaskin trick that I had read about, but I think I actually did it instinctively. Got back in the tub which felt so much better for probably only one or two more contractions when I felt that I needed to go poo again. I again knew in my head that this was a good thing but still wasn't sure how much longer I had left and was sad that I had to get out of the tub again. Midwife applied some pressure to help me go and also moved the little lip of cervix that was left, and they also encouraged me to bear down a little with the contractions which felt nice. A little funny...Shaun kept flushing the toilet with me still on it...I was NOT a fan and had to tell him to stop. I think D and midwife thought that was funny :). And then I felt something unbelievable....my body was literally all of a sudden pushing my baby out. There was no stopping my body from doing what it needed to do at this point. I had two options...I could just ride it out and feel my body pushing or I could bear down a little to help. I think I just rode out the first push because I was so surprised at how it felt. I told the midwife that I was pushing, and she encouraged me to bear down on the next one. This part for me felt way better than those transition contractions. It actually felt good to bear down! After that first sensation of my body pushing, I had what is called the "rest and be thankful phase." I knew in my head that it was my rest phase when I had enough time between contractions to walk from the toilet to the bed :). I squatted next to the bed and pushed for one contraction and could tell that her head was almost out. I hopped onto the bed on hands and knees and felt like that was the position that I needed to be in, but the midwife told me to turn around into a sitting upright position. I should have told her no :) (because I ended up tearing and I don't think I would have had the same tear in h&k) but at this point I was just doing as I was told because I had no idea what to expect. The next contraction came, and I remember the midwife telling me not to bear down anymore and out she came :). Born at 6:18 pm...just a little over a hour labor...8 lbs 8 ounces! Shaun caught Kate and lifted her up on to my bare chest. I could try to put into words what this moment felt like, but it is impossible to describe. It didn't hurt at all... just a very warm and beautiful feeling. I felt relief and immediate love. She was absolutely gorgeous and wide awake. I couldn't believe how much she looked like Henry when he was born. And then the most wonderful thing happened...no one took my baby away from me. I got to keep her and soak her up skin to skin, which made delivering the placenta/getting stitched etc so pleasant. I was laying down to get stitched and decided to put Kate up to my breast to see if she wanted to nurse. She self-latched immediately (probably three seconds!), and we couldn't believe it! She was also pushing off the bed using her crawling reflex that babies without anesthesia have when they are born. Amazing! I could not get over how good I felt after the birth. I had of course read about all of the hormones/endorphins etc that rush into your body after natural childbirth but literally couldn't get over how good I felt. I've never been that relaxed in all of my life!! I kept saying to the midwife and D, "I can't believe how great I feel." I could tell they hear that often :). Shaun and I couldn't get over how wonderful of an experience this birth was for us. D got a fresh warm bath ready for me and brought my candles over to the bath. She seriously thought of everything. She made sure we had everything we needed to have a great experience. I got in to the tub by myself for a few minutes and then Shaun brought Kate back to me into the bath to nurse some more. Kate was very alert for probably close to two hours, and she nursed most of that time :). It was so wonderful to be able to soak her up and to look into her sweet eyes. What a miracle...God is so good.

We moved to Texas!!

2011-08-31T12:40:00.000-07:00

So if you aren't friends with me in "real life" then I seriously left you hanging with my last post (so sorry about that!). Life has been crazy!!!! At the time that I last wrote, I was in the middle of my 39th week of pregnancy, and we had just decided to take a job offer in d.allas, texas that would require us to leave town in a few days. So at two days before my due date, we packed up our van with everything we could possibly need for the first few months and headed west to Texas. We found a birth center who would take us in at the last minute (literally as my first appointment with them was ON my due date), and we stayed in several different hotels that first week and half waiting for our cor.porate furnished apartment to be ready. We were also waiting for Miss Kate who was apparently not ready to join us. It was a difficult and fun two weeks with a lot of ups and downs and A LOT of crying from me. I will be the first to admit that I did not handle going over my due date well at all. I felt a ton of pressure to go into labor before Shaun started work, and it was hard waiting. A huge blessing though (God's timing is perfect!) is that we were able to get settled into our apartment before Kate came, and just the three of us were able to do all kinds of fun things to begin to learn our new city. And we ate soooo goood....thanks to per diem for eating out all week!! This was of course a very welcome change from not eating out at all and trying to eat incredibly cheap while Shaun didn't have a job. We loved getting to show Henry all kinds of new things, and he absolutely adored staying in a hotel etc. Birth story and pics of Kate coming soon...Here are a few pics from our first week in Texas:

Van LOADED down

Henry is saying "Texas!!"

The zoo here is sooo fun!

Record breaking heat wave in Texas....enough said.

Henry checking out the penguins...my fav!!

Finally some good food!!

Aunt Sarah came for the first three days of Shaun's job and moved us into our apt and took care of Henry
....couldn't have done it without her!!

So much to say...

2011-07-20T08:21:00.000-07:00

There is SO much that I want to blog about right now....lots of news....but I can't make it public yet (hopefully soon!!). Okay wish I could say more.

I'm 39 weeks now...due date is MONDAY!!! I'm actually anticipating going past my due date though as I wasn't progressed at all at my friday checkup. I will have another dr appt on Thursday morning but honestly not expecting much news from that either. Since I'm not going to be electively induced, I just get to be a patient mama and wait on when miss sweet kate is ready to show her pretty face. I was induced with Henry at 39 weeks 3 days, which would be like having Kate today...wow! Makes me realize how close I am to getting to hold her (so exciting!). Please pray for a happy and healthy delivery....the last three months have been SO crazy around here that I'm hoping that this birth can be calm and normal :).

Remember how I said how badly I wanted maternity pics and how sad I was that we wanted be able to get them because of $$$ with Shaun's job loss??!! Well just an example of how God provides...my friend is a photographer, and she asked me if we would be willing to get our pictures taken by some photographers for use for their portfolios. Well we got there, and I think there was seriously like six or more photographers taking pictures of us. I want to post some on here but want to make sure that I use the right format with their logo that they want so for now I can only post a link to one of the photographers blogs with a pic of me :).

Also a little update on my sweet boy. Henry is almost two!!!! He is talking in sentences now and is seriously cracking us up with the stuff that he says. He talks pretty clearly but some of his words he can't say exactly right, and they are my favs...helipopter, waccles (waffles), pee woo (instead of pee you for smelly), Chomas (Thomas the train). We have also been amazed by how much Henry loves to sing and how he can really keep a tune. He has always been very auditory but lately it has become even more clear how much we pays attention to sound. One of my favorite things to do now is to leave out words in a book or song, and he tries to fill in the blanks. I've been surprised what he actually has memorized :). One of the sweet things that he does that melts our hearts every time is that when we tuck him in at night, he waits for us to close the door and then he yells as loud as he can "I yove you mama!!" "I yove you dada!!" I don't think it gets much better than that :). This is definitely a challenging age as he thinks he is capable of doing so much more than he can (independence is kicking in!!), and he is sooooo destructive and non-stop....but it is also such a sweet and cute age. He is growing up too fast...sigh. And he is going to be a big brother soon (oh I can already tell I'm going to be an emotional wreck after Kate is born :).

Packing our bags :)...

2011-07-01T13:38:00.000-07:00

You know you are getting close when it is time to pack your bags for the hospital and install the carseat in the car! We are nesting this weekend so little tiny pink things are getting washed (oh so much fun!!) and everything is getting setup around the house. Definitely making things feel more real! I'm so excited to meet my sweetie pie that I can hardly stand it. I can wait to hold her! But I'm not wishing for delivery this week (37 weeks) as I did with Henry because there is still a lot to do before she comes. I'm going to try to be patient as I can be this time :).

Wanted to give y'all an update on my ob appt on Wednesday. I will admit it was pretty emotional for me meeting a new doctor at 36 weeks, and I didn't love everything she said. But the good news is that she had no issues with anything on my birth plan, and she said that the l&d nurses will already know that she is okay with the things I have listed on my birth plan (but it will be in my chart also) so I shouldn't have any problems with them (not that I would anticipate ANY issues with them because I already know a lot of them and they are wonderful). We talked specifically about each item, but I won't bore y'all with that much detail.

I thought I would post what I'm packing this time in my labor bag especially since it would be fun to compare to last time (makes me a little nauseous when I read those blog posts from last time...definitely learned a lot about trusting my body and labor in the last two years). By far the biggest bag for me will be the one that we will carry in with us when I'm in labor...my labor bag (We will leave the postpartum bag and the diaper bag in the car until after delivery). It is really my doula bag of tricks and comfort measures :) with some added personal items for me. I am all about setting up a home environment (as much as possible) in the hospital room. Things like low lights, music etc really made a difference for me with Henry's labor so I try to setup a similar environment for my doula clients (if we have time!). I also think it helps the nurses/hospital staff/doctors etc to respect the moms space when they enter the room, and it is always fun to see their reaction (they can tell something special is going on in the room). So here is what is in my labor bag!

Labor Bag for Hospital—
-Ponytail holders
-Music (jim brickman piano "faith" cd and then I will also have a playlist on my ipod with portable speakers of my favorite slow/sappy songs...lots of country music...stuff like "remember when" -alan jackson)
-Laptop (this might not end up coming in until after delivery)
-Chargers for laptop and cameras and phones
-Video camera
-Flip Flops
-Socks
-Swimming suit...(probably won't wear the bottoms...this is for the bathtub/shower)...one for shaun too.
-Birth Ball!! (a must have...I would be sooooo upset if I didn't have my ball)
-Comfy blanket (just to wrap around me if I want it...NOT to lay down :)
-Led candles (4)--I like to put two in the bathroom so moms don't have to turn the big lights on when they need to go in there and then two/three more around the room so that we can turn the overheads off
-Sound machine for bathroom (tiny little battery operated sound machine that I put on the sink counter behind a candle with water sounds)
-Nice handsoap for bathroom
-Nice toilet paper for bathroom
-Small water fountain (this might end up next to the bathtub because there is a large area at my hospital...it is battery operated too)
-Focal points—ultrasound pic of kate in frame, newborn pink shoes -Happy for l&d nurse (I have a super cute little container for this...just going to be some yummy chocolates with a sweet note)
-Bath pillow ( have this one from homedics...it vibrates!)
-Kneel pad for doula/shaun
-dum dum suckers
-Ziploc of massage oils/lotions
-Freezer Ziploc bags for putting ice chips and washcloths in so that they are cold for transition
-Battery operated fans (2)
-Extra double A batteries
-The Birth Partner book
-Warm compresses (I love these...I have two of them so I can change them out without taking it away from mom...especially great for back labor while mom is in hands/knees position or for wearing around back or lower belly while on ball....the handles are also great for if mom wants to stand and rock side to side while pulling on the straps for some pressure on the back).
-Instant hot/cold packs
-Birth ball pump (in case it needs some air!)
-Bendy straws for gatorade!

Will also have a seperate little cooler bag with ice with gatorades and quick energy snacks for me and shaun and my doula :).

So that is what is in my labor bag...did I forget anything??!!

The Birth Plan...

2011-06-28T14:33:00.000-07:00

Some of you have been curious about what I have in my birth plan so I thought I would just go ahead and post it. A lot of the requests that I make in my birth plan are standard procedure in some areas of the country but not where I live so I have to include them :). If you are currently pregnant and thinking that you don't need a birth plan, you might want to reconsider. Making a birth plan gives you the opportunity to research what you and your hubby want for your birth, and it is a great way to talk to your ob about your birth preferences at your prenatals. You can learn A LOT about an ob by how they react to your birth plan. If they immediately start acting defensive, using scare tactics (like talking about dead babies) and telling you what they are not going to do before you even get to talk about your birth preferences, then you might want to look into finding another OB. As a doula, I hear a lot of negative reactions to birth plans by OBs that really surprise me. They usually say something like "I don't want you to make a birth plan because I don't want you to be disappointed if it doesn't work out that way" or "Birth is so unpredictable.. there is no need to make a plan because it won't turn out the way you planned." While it is absolutely true that birth is unpredictable, there is nothing wrong with having a plan and making educated choices. I could go on and on about this but since this isn't a doula blog...I will just get off my soap box and post my birth plan. Feel free to ask me any questions about it! And feel free to copy it :)!

Birth Plan

Mother: Courtney ******
Father: Shaun ******Doula: Maddy ****

All of the below preferences are given with the understanding that medical emergencies can occur. We will of course be completely flexible in the event of an emergency.

First Stage of Labor:
-No IV just Heplock
-Intermittent monitoring for more range of movement and the use of the shower/tub
-Dimmed lighting
-Limited vaginal checks
-NO pitocin or artificial rupture of membranes
-No pain medication unless requested…please don’t offer medication

Second Stage of Labor:
-Would like to “labor down” until the urge to push is felt
-Spontaneous pushing
-Push and deliver in side lying/squatting/hands and knees positions
-No episiotomy

After Birth:
-Delayed cord clamping…please wait until the cord is no longer pulsating
-No afterbirth shot of pitocin…would prefer immediate breastfeeding and to only use if needed
-Natural delivery of the placenta
-Extended skin to skin contact with mother
-Suctioning/warming/cleaning baby/apgar scores etc while held by mother (skin to skin with warm blanket)
-No eye treatment
-Breastfeeding immediately after delivery
-In-room transition

Nursery:
-Breastmilk only
-No vaccinations
-Pacifier is fine
-No formula or sugar water

A little update :)

2011-06-24T12:27:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let y'all know that I did find a new ob that I'm hoping I'm going to like very much. My first appt with her is this wednesday afternoon (36 weeks!!!) so I'm looking forward to meeting her. My friend gave me a really great idea that I honestly had not even thought about doing until she mentioned it. This is one of those tips that I know I will be using for doula clients in the future. She knows a l&d nurse at the very mom/baby/natural childbirth friendly hospital that I want to go to so she asked her for an ob recommendation. I also decided to just call l&d to talk to one of the nurses that I had with a doula client who was really sweet and very supportive of natural childbirth. Unfortunately, she only works on the weekends, but I ended up having a great talk with one of the nurses there who gave the same recommendation. She told me exactly what I wanted to hear that this ob "really listens to her patients" that she "wants the birth that her patients want" that she is a "patient advocate who is very supportive of natural childbirth" and that "we all love here here." It speaks volumes to me when the l&d nurses love the ob because they see the behind the scenes so I feel really great about going with their recommendation. We are back in town so it is time for some serious nesting!! Here is my to-do list to be completed in one week (eek!!). I want all of this done by 37 weeks just in case I get suprised by an earlier labor!
1. Put up the crib in our room (a friend is letting us borrow one and we got to paint it pink!)...wash bedding and setup bed.
2. Wash carseat cover, swing cover, and bouncy seat cover
3. Install carseat base in van (shaun)
4. Paint changing table pink (another friend is letting us use theirs too and we get to paint it pink too)-shaun will do this for me too :)
5. Buy newborn diapers and sensitive wipes and a changing pad cover and setup changing table
6. Wash and fold newborn clothes (yay!!!)
7. Pack labor bag and hospital bag (will do a post later about what I'm packing in my labor bag)
8. Birth playlist for music during labor
9. Buy snacks and juice for labor
10. Thank you notes!
Okay I think that is everything. I just have to remind myself that all we really need is a few gowns, lots of newborn diapers/wipes, my boobs, receiving blankets, nursing pads and burp cloths for those first few weeks anyways :). Now I better go start on this list while I still have a little energy!

35 weeks and an update!

2011-06-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

It is absolutely unbelievable to me how fast the weeks are going by right now! I can't believe we are only two weeks away from full-term :) (although I bet I will still be going into labor closer to my due date). It is starting to feel more and more real that I'm about to get to meet this sweet baby girl, and I couldn't be more excited! I can't wait to labor....can't wait to hold her...can't wait to see her....can't wait to feel her soft skin. My belly must be huge because I'm getting stopped now everywhere I go and everyone that talks to me thinks that I'm due any day. Their eyes get huge when I tell them that I'm due at the end of July :). I wonder what the reactions will be when I'm actually out in public at the end of july :). Oh my...I can only imagine. I'm definitely at the uncomfortable stage now, but I'm still treasuring every moment as I really love, love being pregnant.

I'm hoping to post a few more blog posts this week with pics (including a few bump photos) and an update on my sweet Henry (almost 2...wow!!!!) since I have some time as we are here at my parent's house in AL to recharge for a few days. I really appreciate all of the kind and encouraging words on my last post. It has been a very hard month as you can imagine, but God is so good. He has provided all of our needs (and more!), and we are so very encouraged. We are constantly blown away by the generosity of our friends, church family, and family. We have already learned so much through this experience. Every plan that I had in place (and I had a lot!) at the beginning of May has totally changed. In fact, the one little plan that I was soooo happy to still have in place (my dr)...just changed today. Today (on a Sunday afternoon...imagine how surprised I was to get this call) my dr called me to let me know that she was part of a large l.ayoff this past week. I have the option to be "transferred" to a random ob that I know nothing about, but I'm really not willing to do that for obvious reasons so I'm going to have to do my research and pray that I'm able to find a good natural childbirth friendly doctor with decent backups. I'm really sad because I really liked my dr. She really listened to what we desire for our birth, and we both made sure that we were on the same page with my birth plan. I'm honestly not asking for much in my birth plan (will post it soon), but you would be surprised how hard it is to find an ob in my area who is willing to even let you go a day/week past your due date or to just have a heplock instead of an IV or to have intermittent monitoring (as the ACOG actually recommends for low-risk l&d). All of these things and a few more on my birth plan are completely standard and can be backed by medical research that they are best for mom and baby.

So literally every single plan from big to small that I have made in the last few months has changed. But there is peace in knowing that God does have a plan and that He is in control. Will keep y'all updated :).

Dear Baby Kate

2011-05-17T20:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Sweet Kate,
I can tell you are getting so much bigger now. Your movements are getting really strong, and my belly is getting huge. I can't believe we are going to be meeting you in ten weeksish or less...wow!! And I still can't believe you are a girl. We are going to have so much fun together. I can't wait for all of the pink and playing kitchen and princesses :).

I had lots of plans for the last two months of this pregnancy. I was planning on moving your brother to another room and making a very pink and girly nursery for you. I was planning on getting all fixed up and taking some much needed belly shots (I really hope to still do this but we will have to see). But everything changed about a week ago when your daddy lost his job out of nowhere. This has been one of the hardest (if not the hardest) weeks of our lives. We've had to make some very difficult decisions including putting our house on the market. And so I sit at 30 weeks pregnant with you, and I have no idea where I'm bringing you home to?! My emotions have been all over the place and so have your daddy's, but we know that God is faithful (you and Henry are testaments to that!) and that gives us a lot of comfort. When I'm having a "moment," you sometimes will give me a nice kick, which turns my tears into smiles. Shaun and I have talked so much about how grateful we are that we have you and Henry. We couldn't imagine going through this without y'all to make us smile and to help us remember what really is important. Kate, you are such a blessing already in our lives. We love you so much!! It really doesn't matter if you have a fancy going home outfit or a pink nursery...you aren't really going to care are you? Well then I'm not going to either. Can't wait to hold you tight and to take care of you and to give you a million kisses.
Love you,
Mommy

Can I get it all in one post??!!

2011-04-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

I have so missed blogging. I find myself blogging in my head sometimes when I'm running around cleaning the house or cooking etc. I think the main reason why blogging has taken a back seat lately is that I'm napping during the time that I used to blog (henry's naptime). I really thought the naps would stop after the first trimester, but I've still needed them so I've tried not to let myself feel too guilty about taking a nap. I'm also usually completely in veg out mode after Henry goes to bed at night. It takes a lot of physical energy to run/waddle after a 20 month old all day! Today I heard from several of you via email and comments and just hearing from my bloggy friends encouraged me to come spend some time at the computer tonight. Thanks for making me feel loved girls! So here is my attempt at trying to fit a lot of updates into one post!

Pregnancy update!- I'm 27 weeks along and my belly is definitely showing it :). I really need to take some belly shots so I will just have to do a photo post soon with a bump photo and some update pics of hen hen. I still can't believe that I'm having a girl! And it really still doesn't even feel completely real that I'm having another baby. I feel so blessed and so grateful to God for this precious sweet baby girl. After all that we have been through in the past, I just can't help but want to soak up every second of this pregnancy. I really love being pregnant. I wish I had a pause button so I could really soak it up like I want to! Staying busy with Henry has made this pregnancy go by way too fast. I am starting to get to the uncomfortable stage where sleep is starting to be difficult at night, and I'm having the same severe rib cage pain that I had with Henry. If you read back in the pregnancy days with Henry, then you might remember that I started having regular contractions at 27-28 wks that landed me on bedrest for six weeks. They have started back again but given that I went full term with Henry, I'm just counting on them being from my "irritable uterus" unless they become more strong or really regular etc. I recently have changed OBs so that I can deliver in a very natural childbirth friendly hospital here in town. I just had a doula client deliver there, and it made me soooo excited to be in such a supportive and welcoming enviroment (definitely an answer to this doula's prayers). Can't wait to go back there in a few months to meet our sweet baby Kate!

Doula update--It is hard to blog about being a doula because I just can't say very many details about the births for my client's privacy! I can say that I have had three births so far (that should be it until after my break although I really want to add one more) and that they have all been completely different but equally beautiful. I have loved every second of being a doula. Who would have ever thought that I would have gone from having a lump in my throat at the sight of a pregnant woman to supporting a couple through labor and delivery?? I really feel like I need to write a separate post about this because I have a lot to say, but this is just one more area in my life that has caused me to actually be grateful for infertility. God definitely taught me through infertility and loss to appreciate the miracle of life. As the title of Ina May Gaskin's new book puts it..."birth matters," and to pretend as though we can take control of the process by scheduling every single delivery (as is almost the case in my city) or discouraging movement in labor etc etc without any risks to mom or baby has me very concerned So without starting into a very long post of its own...I feel very called to be a doula, and I'm just going to have to blog more about some of my thoughts on the subject soon!

Henry update!--Oh my sweet boy. This age is too cute. Again where is the pause button?? Henry is talking up a storm, and his personality cracks us up. He is such a joy and brings so much laughter into our home. I absolutely adore the way he says some things. Right now he loves saying "uh oh fall doooown"...it could be from a tantrum or just because he feels like laying down at the time but either way it makes me giggle every time. Obviously impossible to descirbe on the blog but just take my word for it that it is cute! I just want to go sneak in his room right now and scoop him up. Everyone tells me that he is going to look huge when we get home with Kate...makes me sad to think that he is growing up so fast.

Okay so I got it all in one post! Definitely more to come...hopefully more frequent but shorter posts!

It's a...

2011-03-05T08:35:00.000-08:00

Hello sweet blogger friends! Sorry I've been MIA and so sweet of some of y'all to check on me :). See below post update below on Henry and why it has been so long since I have posted. Way past time for a pregnancy update. This pregnancy is flying!! Unbelievable how fast it is going...almost to the point where I wish I could stop time for a second to just enjoy this moment. Given our infertility history, pregnancy is an especially sweet time for me. I just love every second of it! And I've also been blessed by easy pregnancies both times especially this time.  I'm 19 weeks pregnant, and I wouldn't know it if it wasn't for the sweet baby kicks I'm feeling now and my growing bump....and the need for naps and reflux issues :). I feel bad blogging because I know so many who are still waiting for their precious miracles whether through adoption or attempting treatments, and I don't want to make anyone feel bad. I haven't forgotten for a second the pain of infertility and the daily struggle of walking through it.

At our most recent dr appt (18 weeks)...we had our big ultrasound! And we found out that our sweet baby is a.....

GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe it!! I really thought I would be a mom to a bunch of boys :).  I'm the youngest of four with three brothers...shaun has three brothers and there is one granddaughter and seven grandsons on my side! lots and lots of boys and blue. So everyone is excited for some pink, bows, baby dolls, dresses, tutus etc etc etc :) :) :)!!!!

Honestly, I feel like I'm in a dream right now and that someone needs to pinch me and wake up. I feel so blessed to have such a sweet little boy and now a girl. I've only known for a week now and with all of the sickness in our family, I haven't even had time to look at girl stuff and plan and dream and really believe that I'm having a girl.  We had a great report that she looks healthy and that everything so far is going well which is of course what is most important to us. I don't want y'all to think I didn't want a boy...I really didn't care either way! I was actually super excited about having two boys and had the cutest name picked out :).

So now we have to name her! We really love the name Kate so I think that will be the name, but Shaun wants to go through the entire baby name book before we decide for sure. Now the challenge is to come up with a middle name....Kate (insert three syllable name here??) two syllable last name.  Comment if you have any ideas :).

Here are some sweet pics of miss precious :)

baby feet

sweet button nose

She had her two hands together by her cheek and I said that looked "girly" before I knew she was a girl :)

sweet profile shot

18 wk bump...actually much bigger now :)

18 Month Update

2011-03-05T07:50:00.000-08:00

It has been way too long! I've been a horrible little blogger lately. I really hope to get better at posting more often soon so if anyone is still out there reading...thanks for still following along :). The first few months of 2011 are flying by with keeping up with my busy little guy, napping during henry's naps (my former blog time), enjoying this sweet baby and pregnancy, doula clients, and lots of sickness!!! We are all well right now, and I pray that it stays that way for some time...we need a break. But so thankful that all we've had to deal with are things like stomach bugs, colds etc and nothing more serious.

Now to talk about my little man :)...there is so much to say that it is hard to know what to even include in this blog post. I have found 18 months old (he's almost 19 mo now...eek!) to be the perfect combination of the cutest/sweetest age mixed with the most challenging age yet! Let me explain.

First the cute....Henry is talking up a storm and everything that comes out of his mouth is about as cute as it gets. He is also showing quite the little personality lately with the way he interacts with us, and it is just adorable. For instance, he will say "oh no" while holding his cheeks and just yesterday he struck this little pose while asking if he could see pictures of babies that had me laughing so hard (it is hard to describe but put your chin on the top of your shoulder and you might be able to tell what I'm talking about). The other day at the bookstore, Henry saw two cute little toddler sisters and turned on the charm big time with a cute dimple smile and said "hey girls!" really loud. He just never stops amazing us at the stuff he comes up with every day. One of his favorite things to do righ now is to make "a mess." He will go around the house looking for how he can make a mess while mommy cleans. As much as we sing the cleanup song, and I try to demonstrate putting away toys etc...he has absolutely no interest....he just wants to make a mess. And so I will hear him around the house saying "oh no! a mess" or just "a mess!!" Henry loves all things boy...his favorties right now are still choo choos but he is also getting more and more into "race cars." I can't believe how much he can distinguish between vehicles/construction equipment...he will see a jeep, sports car, race car, backhoe, crane, fire truck etc and tell me what he is seeing. It is so fun to see his little brain just soak up as much information as he can. He has also started singing some of the songs we sing like twinkle twinkle, row row, splish splash, old mcdonald, shake your booty....is there a sweeter sound?? He can even him the thomas the train theme song! Henry also loves to talk about what belongs to who like "mama's shirt, dada's pants, papa's trucks" We will even be going down the road, and he will say "samuel's shirt" (his cousin) or "micah's shirt (his friend). Naps are finally wonderful.....woooohooo! He goes down at noon and takes usually a 2 hr nap (even a 3 hr the other day!!). He also is getting better about not being as cranky when he wakes in the morning or from his nap...he will cry for just a minute and then he will yell for me as loud as he can so I hear him across the house "mama!!." I love waking up to that ;). So now sleep gets to be in the cute category for Henry...if y'all have followed me from the beginning...I bet y'all are all shocked...me too :).

Now for the challenging part...I've heard that some toddlers start the twos a little early, and I think that is the case for our sweet Henry. I've wondered if maybe because he is talking so much that might be why he is starting so soon. Tantrums are very frequent at our house right now. It could be he couldn't get a toy to work like he thinks it should or that I didn't do something they way he wanted etc. The funny thing about Henry is that he gives us a pre-warning of his tantrum by saying "uh oh" and then he proceeds to throw himself on the floor. I ignore the tantrums for the most part and just walk away because I've heard that is the best way to teach them that they don't work. I don't think that he is trying to throw the tantrum to get me to change his mind...it is more of an involuntary response of his body to the frustration he is feeling so I almost feel sorry for him. I have really come to accept that this is just part of being 18 months. He thinks he is capable of doing so much more than he actually is so it is very frustrating for him and as a mom there is very little that I can do to reason with him logically at this age which also makes it challenging. I really just recognize this as a stage, but it does make for some long days sometimes. Another issue we have with our sweet Henry is some very aggressive behavior...pinching, pulling hair, biting etc. And I'm going to vent for a second because this is one of the reasons I like to blog :). This is probably the most challenging issue I've faced yet with behavior with Henry because it involves others. It makes me so upset that he would hurt other children and me and his daddy but at the same time it is hard to deal with being told your son is so awful all of the time. It starts to really get to a mama when every time I pick him up from nursery/mother's morning out etc...I get a report on how my little guy has "beat up" on all the kids in the nursery (and yes Henry I know you are laughing about this if you are reading this twenty years from now :). I get all of the advice at the nursery door about saying no, time outs, spanking etc, and it just gets hard to hear. I'm glad that they are giving him timeout and being consistent and that some kids are scratching him back etc because that is how he is going to learn. But I'm being consistent at home too!!! Just because your child has a behavioral problem does not mean the mama is at fault :). I got so sick of it on Sunday that I told the nursery worker (who was a fill-in so it wasn't the nursery worker that Henry and I love and know well) that "well I guess you will understand one day when he is a nfl football player." How hillarious is it that I said that? I'm so hormonal right now that sometimes things just come out of my mouth especially when they are talking about my baby :). I also get it from other mamas too. And yes I know it is not fun to see your child to be pinched etc, but if you don't like it then remove your child from the situation. Moms need breaks too, and I can't watch Henry every second when we are at a social function.

But the good news is that the cuteness far outweighs the challenges! So blessed to have my sweet little guy, and I'm so enjoying this time with just him. He really is about as precious as they come :)

first juice box by myself

so proud!

so happy and cute...and yes I love this shirt on him :)

Baby Update :)

2011-01-14T09:56:00.000-08:00

Well here I am in the last week of my first trimester (12 weeks)....hard to believe!! This pregnancy is going by so much faster than Henry's because I'm not as worried this time, and I'm so busy chasing after my precious little guy :). I'm honestly still having a hard time even wrapping my brain around the fact that I'm pregnant. It just doesn't feel real (more like a dream) and even when I talk about it...it almost feels like I'm pretending. I remember struggling with similar feelings during my first trimester with Henry, but I also think that I was a little bit more emotionally prepared for that pregnancy. This pregnancy was a huge surprise (in an infertile getting pregnant naturally surprise...not the annoying we didn't even try and we want to tell the world how fertile we are surprise) so I think it is taking a little longer to soak in this time. I know once I start feeling stronger movements (just started feeling some tiny flutters recently) that it will become more real to me, and I honestly can't wait to get to that stage!! I'm not calling this baby "baby #2" because I don't think it is fair to my first baby that I lost. I just don't feel comfortable calling him or her that and so we are just calling the baby "baby" and then by his or her name after the big ultrasound. I want this sweet baby to know (in case you read this someday) that just because our season of waiting was shorter than with Henry, it doesn't mean you were wanted any less. We wanted you just as much as your brother, and you are just as much of a miracle!!

I've enjoyed looking back at old blog posts of Henry's pregnancy so I want to make sure that I write down some of the symptoms and fun stuff to remember. This pregnancy so far hasn't been too difficult. I was a little more nauseaous this time but only from weeks five through eightish and not enough to make me throw up (except for a horrible stomach bug at 7 weeks). I've definitely been tired as I always feel like I need a nap in the afternoon, and I almost always fall asleep on the couch in the evening. Looking forward to getting a burst of energy hopefully soon! Frequent urination--oh wow. definitely had this so much more this time from weeks 4 to 11. Now that the baby has popped up and out a little and taken a little pressure off my bladder, I'm not needing to go as often (for now!). Gag attacks--gag attacks are back!! I was wondering where they were because I'm pretty sure I got them earlier with Henry, but they started last week at 11 weeks. I just gag out of nowhere or especially if a smell gets to me. Mood--I feel like I haven't been that moody yet (Shaun might disagree), but I can definitely get emotional at sillly things especially on tv. Starting to show--I feel like I just pop fast compared to some girls, but it is definitely time for some maternity jean shopping this weekend! Cravings--Henry was my mexican baby couldn't get enough of it but this baby has been my italian baby. I could eat spaghetti like several times a week. I couldn't stand sweets with Henry, but I love a good sweet treat with this pregnancy. I'm honestly surprised that I've only gained 2 lbs so far (think it was six at this point last time) because I've got a serious appetite. I couldn't eat very much from like 5 to 9ish weeks, but I'm starting to get to eat bigger portions now. I know some women get really annoyed at women like me because I have it easy in the first tri unlike my sweet friend Andrea (send her some hugs and congrats!). I honestly can't imagine how hard it would be to be that sick for that long :(. Andrea was such a wonderful friend to me through my infertility before Henry and then I got to walk with her through hers the last two years. We are blown away that God would have us to be pregnant together only like four days apart. What a blessing!!!! We both didn't even dream that as a possibility!

I really need to get better from here on out with belly shots...I just took one this morning so that I could post one (no face in the pic=no makeup...a southern girl just doesn't post that to the world :).

12 weeks...already starting to show?

Front view

and my buddies :)...aren't they the cutest?

Time for an update on hen hen...

2010-12-17T10:23:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it has been October since I have last blogged on here. wow. This fall has really gone by fast!! I wanted to take a few moments to write down a few things about sweet Henry because he is turning into such a big boy, and I don't want to forget this precious age (16 months). We just love him to bits!!

Size- 18 mo clothes and starting to look so long...can't believe how long he looks when he stretches out in the tub to "swim"

Henry's Favorites- He is still absolutely obsessed with choo choos, but he is also starting to love trucks and cars more too. I love the way he says "choo choo"...melts my heart every time. He says "tank you" the same way he says choo choo too. His favorite animal right now is probably an elephant, dog or cat, but he loves to say all of the animal sounds. His favorite book is any train book but especially "the little train" that we ended up buying from the public library because he destroyed it/loved on it so much.

Favorite words/phrases- We definitely have a talker! Henry loves to communicate, and he is getting to the point now where he is almost adding a word daily. I was writing down his first words through 15 months, but there is no way that I can keep up a list now. I really believe the reason he has started talking early is baby signs. I'm a huge fan of starting baby signs around 6 to 8 months of age.  I've seen so many moms afraid of teaching signs to their babies because they think that it will keep their baby from talking but all of the research shows (or at least the studies I've seen) that it actually helps babies/toddlers to talk early.
His favorite phrase by far right now is "fix it." He absolutely loves to bring me or Shaun something that is "broken" to "fix it."  He actually put three words together for the first time this past weekend when Shaun was working with tools in the garage..."Dada fix it!" Thankfully, the door from the house to the garage was open so I got to hear it too. Other favorite phrases are "all done" and "all aboard" (this one melts my heart every time too). I'm trying to get as many of these first words on video because obviously writing doesn't even begin to do it justice. He is starting to have fun with opposite words too like open/close, up/down. He loves saying "shirt" right now and just recently said "mama's shirt"...although sometimes that "r" goes missing so it sounds pretty funny :).

Henry is such a boy! He absolutely adores making sounds and mimicking and thinks certain sounds are especially funny. Especially....poots :).  I can thank his dada for teaching him this one. I will never forget recently when I was sitting with Henry in a rocking chair, and he pooted. He looked up at me with the biggest proud eyes and said "poot" and then laughed his head off. THEN...he proceeded to hike up one leg and do it again. I was laughing so hard...it was too funny. I guess since I grew up with three brothers that bathroom humor doesn't bother me too much. Now Henry even says the past tense "pooted"...oh boy! I'm in for it!

Other fun firsts this month-
Turning around in a circle for dancing
Stomping
Using a fork (just starting this one...)
First time to see santa!
Loving Christmas this year (amazing to watch Christmas through his eyes)
Saying "no" to questions that we ask him sometimes now...oh boy starting the twos early?

I need to upload the pics from my camera but until now how about a cell phone pic of a pic?

Here is Henry sitting on Santa's lap! He actually liked Santa and was talking to him. I was so surprised!

And for those of you who don't read prayingforalittleone...Henry is a big brother! Baby Sirmon is due July 25, 2011!!! Praising God for this precious miracle!! I will be blogging over here about my pregnancy so look for a post coming soon!

What made you want to be a doula? Part One.

2010-10-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

A common question that I'm getting right now as more of my friends are hearing that I'm training to become a doula (along with "what is a doula?"..dona.org has great info on that but I will address in another post) is "what made you want to be a doula?" I really feel like in order to answer this question that I need to start back to why I desired a natural childbirth with Henry and what I've learned about my body since labor/delivery/breastfeeding. So this is just part one :).

Growing up, my mother always spoke of her labor and deliveries so positively that she made me see labor and delivery as something to look forward to in the future. I loved hearing her birth stories growing up (all four of them!) and how she described labor as "Christmas morning" for her. I've always been proud of my mom for many reasons but lately I've come to an even greater appreciation of how she was willing to be different. For example, my dad was the second dad to ever be allowed in the delivery room in our small town (because they asked!!) and my mom's labor and delivery nurse asked if she could watch my mom's first latch with breastfeeding because she "never saw that before." I guess we have come a long way in some aspects of the l&d process since the 1970s :). My mom's descriptions of her labor and contractions made me realize that this "pain" was different. Labor "pain" is different than any other pain that we experience in our life because it is pain that actually means that something good is happening. She explained to me often the importance of relaxing during a contraction as becoming tense made it so much worse. I kept this advice in mind when I wanted to curl up in a ball with horrible menstrual cramps (thanks to endometriosis). One of my favorite parts of my mom's first birth story with my brother Ethan is how she tells about how the first l&d nurse that saw her (checked her) told her that she wasn't in labor and how my mom knew that wasn't true. I love how my mom believed her own body at such a young age when someone older and experienced was telling her differently. I wish I could say that I had the same strength when it was my turn. After experiencing a miscarriage and infertility, I felt that my body was broken and was extremely fearful that my body would not know what to do when it came to labor and delivery and breastfeeding. I can remember answering people's questions about if I planned to breastfeed with "I definitely want to breastfeed if I can" as if my body literally wouldn't produce the milk (which by the way only happens in a very, very small percentage of women). It would be like me saying that I definitely want to get some ice cream if I don't get struck by lightning on the way. I will never forget a comment left on my blog by my friend from high school Elizabeth who is training to be a midwife (yay!) when I was in tears (okay sobs!) over another fingertip dilated vaginal check (which I now know was completely unnecessary...please read this article if you are preg) and the possibility of csection/induction. She gave me the famous quote by Ina May Gaskin..."your body is not a lemon." Oh how I wish I would have listened to the truth behind that quote. I wouldn't have had an elective induction at 39 weeks. I was so terrified of my body not acting correctly or the baby being "too big" that I would "need" a csection that I didn't listen to my gut or my friend. For years, I dreamed of what labor and delivery would be like...making the phone call to shaun to come home from work because I was in labor...resting and breathing deeply in the arms of my hubby during labor...feeling every contraction and knowing we were one step closer to finally meeting our baby. I didn't want to be propped up in a bed while everyone came to visit like it was a party completely unaware that a miracle was taking place. Some women desire that type of labor and delivery and that is their choice (one of the reasons for the high csection rate), but it wasn't for me.
Even though my birth story with Henry has some regrets, it was still the best day of our lives as we met our sweet Henry. The time that we spent in labor were some of the most bonding moments in our marriage. We just needed someone to help us along. Someone who could have assured me that my body works and that I wouldn't carry Henry around for 11 months and to talk to my doctor about my options. Someone who could have told me that I was in transition and that ten cm was right around the corner. Someone who could have make sure that the music playing that was helping me so much would stay on (it kept turning off and shaun didn't have time to fix it in between contractions!) or done something with the alarm that kept going off. Someone who could have gotten my nurse when I needed to go to the bathroom or to remind me that I needed to go (always hurt worse with a full bladder!). Someone who could have given my poor hubby a break who rubbed me without time for food or drink for hours and hours (he told me later that this is part of the reason why he didn't try to encourage me to rethink the epi when I asked for it...oh and he had a pulled muscle in his back that hurt so bad the entire day and didn't say a word about it...wow.).

I want to be that someone for couples in our area who are desiring natural childbirth. I can't imagine what a joy it is going to be for me to guide my first couple through their labor and delivery and first latch. And that is just one of the reasons why I want to be a doula :).

14 Month Update (very late!!)

2010-10-28T08:24:00.000-07:00

Before my sweet little boy turns fifteen months (what??!!), I wanted to take a moment to write down a few things that I don't want to forget from 14 months. I know I can write some long updates, but I'm going to try to keep this one as just a little summary :). October is getting away from me so fast (I keep writing this post and saving because I never have time to finish it so now it is like 3 days away from November…wow.). If you aren't a follower, you might want to also check prayingforalittleone as I'm posting a little more over there these days too.

Size: no weight or height update...still wearing 12-18 mo

Baby Signs: No new signs this month because mr. henry is moving on to words! He definitely still uses some of his favorite signs, but I haven't been teaching him any new ones. His favorite signs: keys (he made up the sign for this!! it looks like he is turning the key...so cute!!), airplane, bird, bath, more, please, book.

Words: Henry has really started talking this month, and it has been sooooo much fun. I love to hear his sweet voice....oh it just melts my heart!! I'm going to be annoying and list all of his new words but as I've said before this blog is my baby book so I use it for my record :). And yes, I had to start writing them down this month on a notepad on our kitchen counter.

baby, cheese, hot (one of his favs) choo choo (his favorite word), shoes, bus, truck, yay, ball, poopoo, spoon, book, grape, juice, yuck, chip, night night, go, balloon, gatti, teeth, belly button, keys (calls them da now he was saying keys), hello, three, bread, stuck (another fav), bubbles.

Book- Favorite book this month is any "choochoo" book...the boy is in LOVE with trains. It is so cute :).

Breastfeeding- Still going strong...not weaning yet because I don't want to, and I can tell Henry doesn’t either. He does seem to be able to tolerate goat's milk so I'm very happy that we have something to wean to now when we decide to someday.

Sleep--no comment. lol just kidding...but seriously sleep and henry just don't belong together in the same sentence :). I'm sure that good long afternoon nap will come someday....(and since this is a late update…he is starting to do a lot better now at almost 15 months).

A couple cute things:

Middle of the night talking—If Henry wakes in the middle of the night and I go in to see him, he immediately stops crying and starts talking. I sometimes wonder if he is telling me about his dreams…”choo choo” or “dada” “book” “mama” are some of his favs ;).

Snap—One day Shaun was snapping to some music, and Henry started trying to snap. He was moving his fingers and not hearing any sound so he started making the sound with his mouth while moving his fingers. He still does it sometimes if we start snapping…so cute :)

Pointing out dada/mama- Henry now loves to point out everybody in pictures around our house especially mama and dada. He especially loves our wedding photos and always says our names with the most excited voice.

Imagining- Henry is just starting imaginary play, and I’m so excited because imaginary play is so fun to me. The first time I ever noticed Henry pretending was when he went over to his music table and pinched like he was picking up some “food” and brought it over to me to “eat.”

I know I say it every month, but this really is such a sweet age. We are so love with our buddy. I can’t believe how big he is now. He really is such a little toddler now :)

No pics this time because I haven't uploaded them on my computer...will just have to put a bunch on the 15 mo update soon :)!

But here is an adorable video of a duet with my favorite two people in this entire world! Hope you enjoy! (Shaun is embarassed by his singing voice but I think he sounds great!)...And because it is in hd...half of the video is getting cut off because of the way my blog is formatted...so it might be easier to watch on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg7WC8ApqSs

13 Month Update!

2010-09-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

I really have been a bad blogger recently, and I hope to do better this fall! We've had some computer and internet problems, but my techy hubby seems to have us back up and running so hopefully more posts will come soon. I miss blogging when I don't get to write!! I really use it as a way to process my feelings/thoughts, and I think I would still do it even if no one read or commented (although I heart my readers-thank you for putting up with my silly posts!!). But enough about me and blogging...time to catch up on mr. hen hen. This month I've witnessed him grow from a baby to a toddler. It is such a fun age, but a little sad for me as I'm really having a tough time with not having a baby anymore. I think this is mainly because he is my first, and I'm also scared that it could be years before I have another baby. As I pack up baby blankets and bibs, I can't help but question whether I'm going to need them at all in the near future. I didn't really get too upset around his birthday and this past month because he was still a baby to me.  But now he is 13 months, and he is walking all over the place/wearing shoes/drinking from a big sippy/stinking like a boy when he gets hot...he is definitely a toddler.  I'm excited though about this year and this new stage! I've found that one of things I love most about being a mom is teaching Henry. As we move into the toddler stage, I can already see many more opportunities for learning together. There is so much to explore and see!

Size: 22 lbs at 12 mo checkup 31 inches (75th percentile in height and weight)

Walking: Henry started officially walking on August 26th and has gotten increasingly faster over the past few weeks. The monkey crawl that everyone loved is fading away, and I expect in the next few weeks that it will be gone. It is so crazy to see him walking all over the house...practically running already!!  Watch out world...here Henry comes!

Baby Signs: new signs--banana, book, bath, please and we are working on war eagle :) (go auburn!!).  He has about 18 signs now, and he uses most of them daily along with trying to say the word.  I need to get a baby signs book at the library to learn a few more because I'm not really teaching him any new signs...i've run out of ideas!

Words:  Henry has really surprised us this month with how much he is saying and what he is trying to say. A lot of the words he says now started as baby signs so I'm glad that we did signs with him.
Dada, mama, book, bird, frog (not very clear but he says it every time he sees a frog), banana (baboo), bye, hey, juice, baby (baba or babee), boy, apple, ball, diaper, poo poo (ha!), elmo (mo), oh (for uh oh when he falls).   There are several more words that I think he is saying like truck and bus, but he has only said them a few times so we will see if he adds them this month.

Sounds: I'm not going to be able to remember all of the sounds that he makes because he looooves to make sound effects (such a boy!). But his favorite new sounds to make are for a lion (roooooar--which he says very loud), and he LOVES owls (whooo whooo)...I don't know why owls but every time we see one in a book...he just wants to stay and look at them and make the sound. So funny!!

Book- Henry's favorite book this month is "The Noisy Jungle" and "B is for Bear" (if you have a one year old...you have to get this book!!)

Breastfeeding- Still breastfeeding! I'm going to be sad about stopping, but I'm kinda getting ready at the same time. This past year of bfeeding has been so sweet. I'm going to write a post about it soon along with the first year of parenting post. I'm attempting to wean this month if Henry can tolerate goat's milk. I mentioned last month that Henry is allergic to cow's milk. I really would prefer not to give him soy milk so we are trying goat's milk first. There are two different types of milk proteins. One is in just cow's milk and the other is in both cow and goat so it is possible that Henry will be allergic to goat's milk as well. I'm hoping he will be okay with goat's milk although it is expensive!!

Sleeping- Attachment parenting readers might want to stop reading now.
We are sleep training for naps and going down at night. It got way out of control way longer than it should, and I finally have become strong enough to do what it takes. Believe me!!  It is not easy. But my sweet Henry was/is making my days extremely hard/emotional because he fought sleep every time, which ISN'T what is best for him either.  So I've had to start not going back in his room at all.  He actually hasn't cried for that long which I'm grateful for but it still hasn't been easy. Really not interested in hearing any negative comments about this so just know that your comment will be deleted if it is negative.

So overall a fun and busy month (and obviously difficult at times too :).  Looking forward to a cool fall with lots of new things for my little buddy like pumpkins, fall leaves, and afternoon naps :).

Pic uploader is being slow so just a few pics...

Signing "hat" at a bday party

Henry's fav place to be

In deep thought in a museum :)

Loves the splash park...so sad it is abut to end!

Henry's Birthday Party!

2010-08-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how much y'all want to see these pics :)...makes me a happy blogger that y'all care! Shaun and I have never thrown a party this big before (invited our entire sunday school community) so we really learned a lot in the process, but we had a great time at the party and were very pleased with the turnout for Henry (it meant a lot to us!!). One of my biggest regrets is the pictures...I tried to take some good ones, but I really didn't have time so I didn't pics of a lot of the cute decorations and especially Henry. Next time, I will hire a hobby photographer to take pics and video so I can focus on enjoying the party without worrying that I'm missing moments!

The invite! (pics and invite done by the so talented Peepeye Designs--find her on facebook)--scratched my number out

Wreath for front door--my talented friend Claire stayed up making these ducks one night! thanks c :)

Close-up of ducks on wreath

Favors on the entryway table (duck book and bubbles)...there were ducks floating in water and frames with pics of Henry with ducks when he was a little baby.

Food table...bbq, potato salad, baked beans, coleslaw, chips and cupcakes

Favorite pics from each month...birth to 12 mo

Blowing out the candle...was just about to start sobbing but then...

Henry touched the hot candle and became terrified of his mean rubber ducky cupcake

No traditional smashing of the cake for this little buddy :)

Holding up our one!

And last but definitely not least...the adorable cupcakes made by my super talented friend Jessica

Family pic (henry wasn't cooperating with pics...too much fun things to watch and do!)

Dear Henry

2010-08-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

August 7, 2010

Dear Henry,

On this day a year ago, your dad and I were anxiously awaiting to meet you. For nine months, you were in my belly and even though we knew we would get to meet you....it almost seemed like a dream. I can remember a quiet moment in the delivery room right before it was time for you to be born that it finally hit your dad and I that you were going to be here. It was no longer going to be just the two of us, and we couldn't hold back the happy tears. I don't know that you will ever understand how much you are loved and how much you were wanted. Henry, you are the answer to our prayers. You are our miracle from God. I will never forget when I saw your face for the first time. I felt like I knew you immediately. All of the waiting and tears, it all made sense when I looked into your eyes. You were so alert and wide awake taking in the new world around you and all of our family and friends at the hospital couldn't believe how you were just looking around checking everything out. It makes me laugh now looking back at the videos and pictures from your birth day because that is so you. You are always taking in the world around you. As a newborn at 2 AM, you would rather look around and talk than sleep. Now as a one year old, you don't wake at 2 AM anymore (yay!), but you are constantly pointing out to us things that you see and hear. We love that about you. You are showing us so many things that we started to not notice before you were here. Every morning, you want me to open the blinds so that you can look outside while you eat breakfast. I always say, "wow! it is a beautiful day," and you make the cutest sigh. I never realized how many beautiful weather mornings that we actually have until I started saying that to you everyday. Or how many birds hang out around our house now that you point them out to me. Or how many people actually wear hats! You are teaching us to look at the world through your eyes, and it is such a beautiful creation. But the most beautiful (or handsome) creation of all...is you! You get your adorable looks from your daddy. And your dimples from me :). I love your sweet eyelashes, and your precious smile. I can't believe how much you have grown in a year. Last year, you were so tiny and now you are starting to look more like a toddler than a baby. You are the cutest, most sweetest, precious little boy! I'm so blessed to be your mom and to get to take care of you. I love you more than words can express.

Love,

Mommy

One Year Update

2010-08-08T19:33:00.000-07:00

Our baby is one!! I was so emotional leading up to the day and a little on the day of his birthday but today I'm just excited about the new adventures to look forward to this year. He is still my baby and will always be so I'm not ready to refer to him as a toddler yet...maybe I'll go with pre-toddler.

Stats:

No update on height and weight yet...we go tomorrow to his one year appt which I almost cried when his nurse called me to remind me of his appointment.

Size 4 diapers

12 to 18 mo clothes

Walking?-- not yet!! But boy is he close. He took five steps for Shaun today so I know it will probably be any day/week from now.

Baby Signs- This is where I've seen a huge leap of development this month. Henry is really wanting to communicate to us everything that he sees, and I love it. I can't explain the joy it brings me to see him do a sign for the first time! And signing is really helping us know what he wants when he is getting frustrated instead of guessing. His signs so far are: eat (he LOVES to use this sign when he is hungry and mama LOVES that she can get him to a high chair stat without having to figure out why he is upset), milk (new today!), more, all done (which is followed by him trying to push the tray away), listen (cups his hand around his ear--new this week), bird, bye bye also waves for hey, fan, hat (this is precious because he will point out when someone is wearing a hat...he even did the sign when he saw little girls with bows in their hair), flower, ball, fish, plane, one.

Words- I can tell Henry is staring to try to say a lot more words by mimicking us. But right now he just has a few: dada, mama (still rarely says it), baby, duck, bird, bye.

Sounds- Oh how I love the sounds this little guy makes. He is such a boy. I'm amazed by the "quality" of his sounds already :). Makes sounds for: truck, sheep (baaaa), cow (moooooo), helicopter, airplane, dog.

Favorite books- Henry got a lot of new books this past month for his birthday, and he is in love with them all. His favorite book ever though is still his baby book. He says "ba" (for baby) when I pick it up, and he can anticipate what is coming next in the book because we have read it so much.

Breastfeeding- We made it to our goal!! I'm not really in a hurry to wean, but we probably will soon. I'm torn because I enjoy breastfeeding and Henry does as well, but he is getting to the stage where he is more aggressive and distracted which can be difficult at times. But then there are the feedings where he is being so calm and sweet that just make me want to go longer. Also, Henry is reacting to whole milk with a rash and diarrhea so we will have to see what his ped says about other alternatives tomorrow. I'm concerned about lack of fat content in rice or almond milk and soy is NOT an option for us because of recent studies showing boys drinking soy milk/formula had a much higher level of estrogen in their blood (we will pass on that one...).

Sleep- Sleep is so much better this month! Sleeping about 11 hours at night...yippee! He is also taking a GREAT morning nap. But...there is always a but when henry and sleep are in the same sentence ;)....he is fighting his afternoon nap. Looks like we are headed to one nap a day. Needing advice on this: I'm wanting to just quit the morning nap cold turkey instead of trying to inch it back little by little. When would be an approx good time to start the nap for a beginner? 11ish? Am I crazy for doing it this way? How did you take your toddlers/babies to one nap?

I have a lot more to posts to post including a letter to henry on his first birthday, birthday party post, and a look back at our first year of parenting. But now for the pics...having a hard time picking just a few because I love so many from this month!

Dressing up like a lil' cow for chickfila day

Family trip to the natural science museum

Checking out the bear at the museum

Went to an extra fun splash park...he loved it

so cute in a hat!

I love bananas and walmart

Eating lunch out with his friend Micah

Holding up our "one" for one year old before his family bday party in AL

Stopped to visit and eat great seafood on the coast with Nana on the way home

Happy!

Still can't get enough of him one year later...

and neither can daddy :)--he is asleep in this photo :)

Last year :)

Emotional.

2010-08-05T06:55:00.000-07:00

How is my baby turning one on Saturday??!! I just can't believe it. Hoping to have a one year post (I can't even hardly type the words without crying) up by Saturday so stay tuned...

Party Planning and Other Random thoughts...

2010-07-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

Party planning for Henry's first birthday is officially underway! I'm now staring at way too many rubber duckies and ribbon and decor in my office. I really wasn't going to go overboard with the first birthday, but I guess I can't help myself. I'm so emotional/sentimental about making it to this milestone. My baby is growing up. It is so fun and sweet and sad all at the same time! Can't wait to share pics of the bday party (which I just realized is only TEN days away!!).

I'm about to ovulate. Got a positive opk yesterday, and Shaun and I got together this morning. Still holding out hope for a "surprise" pregnancy but planning on going back to the RE in the near future.

Just accomplished observing a 12 hr lamaze childbirth education class for my doula training. Yes you read that right...I'm going to be a doula! For those of you who don't know, a doula is a trained labor support person who stays with the mom from (at least) active labor through the first latch with breastfeeding. This really deserves its own post, but I'm very excited about becoming a doula!

Henry just woke up from his morning nap so I have to go, but he is changing so much right now and acting more and more like a little pre-toddler. He loves to push the garage door button to open it for his daddy in the morning, and he gave Shaun the most precious are-you-proud-of-me look this morning when he pushed it!! It was sooooo cute :).

11 Month Update

2010-07-08T18:10:00.000-07:00

This is my last month update before Henry turns one...how is that possible??!! I have been a very bad blogger this month as I just realized that my last post was Henry's 10 month update. We have been super busy this past month with lots of fun summer activities, all three of us getting sick for a week (boo!), and getting to travel to Bham to spend time with our nephews and to welcome their little brother into the world. I know it took 11 months lol, but I really feel like Shaun and I have completely transitioned to parenthood and marriage with baby. Shaun is an incredible daddy (as he has always been from day one!), and I can tell that he is loving the stage that Henry is in now. He takes Henry on Saturday mornings for a little daddy/son time, and Shaun comes back talking about how much fun they had. It is so cute ;).

Now for the always ridiculously long update!

Stats:
Weight- Still hanging on to the 20 lb range...he eats like a cow, but he isn't gaining much
Height--??
Size 4 diapers
12 to 18 mo clothes

Milestones:

Standing alone/getting to standing without holding on to anything--He just started doing this in the last week/few days! Henry has been pretty cautious to let go even though he can definitely do it! This makes me think that he might be a little bit of a late walker, which I'm completely okay with since he is doing great with his other milestones.

Baby Signs--Henry added "bath" this month, but he will only do it when he sees a baby in a bath tub in one of the books we are reading. He has made the sign for "more" several times now, but he doesn't do it consistently. He is also pointing out birds and trying to make a sign but not really making the sign yet. "Fan" and "All Done" are still his two favorite signs, and he also likes to wave bye bye a lot if the mood strikes him. Dada took him to Lowe's and showed him the fans, and Shaun reported back that he LOVED it.

Words- Dada is still his favorite word, but he is added a few more! He won't say mama that much right now if at all, but I'm sure he will start saying it again soon. He is saying "duck" a lot more, and he has said "bye bye" and "baby" (but he doesn't say those on a regular basis).

Animal sounds- Henry is really interested in listening to sounds this month so we have started teaching him a lot more animal sounds. He gets so excited when he hears the birds outside! The only sounds he can make so far is moooo for cow and baba for sheep. He rarely will make the sheep sound, but he will make the mooo sound if we make it first.

Acting like a big boy- He is starting to help a little with getting dressed by pushing out his arms. Henry likes to push the garage door button to close it with one finger. Starting to point to objects to let us know that he saw it. Turning off lights. And understanding so much of what we say!

Favorite books- Henry is still in love with books! I think his favorite this month would definitely be any books with animals. I can tell he really enjoys when I make the sounds or tickle the dog's belly.

Breastfeeding- Still going well although I'm starting to feel like I will be ready to wean in a month. I know it will be sad, but it will also be good to have more freedom. But I will be really happy to make it to our goal!

Sleep- Sleep training continues after a little setback from traveling and getting sick! Henry is improving with going down for his naps and nighttime sleep so I'm happy! I've really finally realized that Henry is a sensitive baby, and he can NOT go down to sleep if he is overtired. I'm basically having to stay home with him until after his afternoon nap to make sure that he doesn't get overstimulated. I have finally accepted that this is just how he needs it for now. I'm still making an exception for one or two times a week so that we can have some social time with friends.

This is such a sweet age. I think I might say that every month, but it is so true!!

Now for some pics!

Playing with cousins in bham!

My fake "cheese" grin...love it!

Hanging out like a big boy with his cousins waiting for John Paul to arrive!

In love with the dog in Old Navy

He ended up pushing his stroller around by himself by the end of the night!!

Love this picture! Henry on daddy's shoulders watching the hot air balloons takeoff

10 Month Update...my busy little bee

2010-06-10T19:44:00.000-07:00

Oh how I love this age! It is so fun to watch Henry explore the world around him. He is busy, busy, busy! I apologize in advance for how long this post is going to be...there are so many things I want to write down for my own memory so you might want to grab a cold beverage before trying to read this in one sitting!

Stats:

Weight- still in the 20 lb range

Height-?? probably won't have another measurement until his 12 month dr visit

Size 4 diapers

Size 12 to 18 mo clothes--loving summer clothes!! (p.s. any recommendations for his first real walking shoes?)

Milestones:

Crusing!- Henry has become the master cruiser. He can cruise down our couch and any furniture in record time. It has been a new challenge for me to find places for things now that he can get into EVERYTHING!!

Speed Crawler- Henry is still continuing to crawl incredibly fast without letting his knees touch the ground. Everyone laughs when they see him crawl because it is a pretty funny sight. It is always fun to see what animal they are going to compare him to...

Baby Signs- This month Henry added "all done" and "fan" to his small but fun baby sign vocab. He gets so excited when he does the sign for all done, and I respond, "all done??" And he gets very happy when I ask him if he is all done...he almost always immediately responds with the sign. I think he is getting close to doing the sign for bird and bath so it will be fun to see if he does those this month. One little cute baby sign story is that we were out in the parking lot of wa.lmart the other day and a helicopter flew by. Henry was making the sign for fan, and it didn't even click with me until I told Shaun later that he thought it was a flying fan lol. He also made a sound that sounded like a helicopter and when I told Shaun that we saw a helicopter..he made the sound again!!

Words- no new words this month...:(...just mama and dada and a lot of cute baby talk. Except for maybe yum and baby, but I can't say for sure as I've only thought I've heard him say both several times.

Mimicking- Henry is really getting into the stage where he loves to mimic any sound that we make or facial expression. It is so funny to me when he does this! The other day we were reading a book with animals, and I made the sound that horses make, and he made it back! so cute!!

Diaper Changes/Getting Dressed- Henry HATES it. He rolls over...screams...tries to crawl away...it is actually pretty funny. I'm starting to use the safety straps on the changing pad cover so that I can actually get the boy changed!! I have the coolest, neatest household items like remotes for him to play with and he still is not having it at all.

Dance with me Henry--(y'all do know that is a song right?? I need to learn all of the lyrics!!) Henry has started to dance and bounce his little booty when he hears music. I've been waiting for this day for so long because I absolutely adore baby booty dancing :). He has also started to sing with us sometimes. I have a song that I made up that he loves called "my hen hen henry," and he will try to hum the same rhythm with me at the hen hen henry part.

Peekaboo- It took me forever to figure out that Henry was trying to play peekaboo with us. He kept leaning his head over to one side in his high chair, and I just thought he was doing it to be silly. I finally figured out one day that he was "hiding." I always play peek a boo with him by hiding under his tray so that was what he was trying to do :).

Outside- Henry goes nuts if I ask him if he wants to go bye byes or go outside. He loves it!! He just oozes with delight when I open the garage door. Even just a simple trip to the mailbox is pure heaven for him.

Favorite toys- Anything and everything he can get into! And a vtec helicopter and tool box shape sorter.

Favorite books- Can't even pick one! His favs are touch and feel books! His Aunt Vicki just gave us a ton of his cousin Samuel's baby books (thanks vicki!!), and he is having the best time with his new books. He makes me read to him before every nap and after every feeding!! I absolutely adore this time because it is the only time during the day that he will actually lay on me and be still. He also figured out how to turn the page of the books this month so it has been fun to let him turn the page.

Breastfeeding- Breastfeeding is going really well, and I don't feel like quiting any time soon. The biting thing was only for a day or two until he figured out he was hurting mommy. The only thing that is different this month is that he has a strong preference on when to switch sides. Feeling a little conflicted because I know some people start to think it is strange after 12 months and also wondering (and this really is a post that needs to be by itself but I don't have time right now so I will mention...) if I need to quit to give us more time to get pregnant on our own. Doctors seem to not count breastfeeding months as "fertile" (and I use that term lightly around here) months, and I would like to give it some time before I have to start that process again. Feeling like my clock is ticking....weird feeling to have at 26.

Self-feeding- Henry is about 90% feeding himself now. I will feed him yogurt or oatmeal but other than that...he feeds himself. I was really not sure about this stage but now that we are in it...I love it! Henry is still at the stage where he loves everything which makes me job a lot easier! For those of you who have a little one around the same age, here is what we are eating these days (just a typical day...this does vary!). (Just a few Cheerios are always at the beginning of every meal while mom gets things ready!)

Breakfast- Banana (about 3/4), Strawberries (2 to 3) and Wheat Oatmeal mixed with whole milk

Lunch- Turkey, 1 sandwich sliced cheddar cheese, whole wheat bread, green veggie, fruit (blueberries etc)

Afternoon snack- fruit and cheerios or cheese or yogurt

Dinner- Meat of what we are having for dinner, green veggie, fruit, wheat bread

Nighttime sleep/naps--yikes. I don't even know if I can talk about this right now. Henry is sooo cute (if I say so myself), soooo sweet, sooo funny, such a great eater and crawler....but he is NOT a good sleeper. Never has been from about night two from the hospital. We are in the middle of sleep training because I had a moment where I realized that the night waking wasn't working for him, and it wasn't working for me. In fact, I realized that he cries so much every night to get me to come to his room that by sleep training him...I was actually saving him from crying in the future. Night one- was off and on crying for a hour (I didn't go in at all...just set a timer and checked on him via video monitor because I knew I would pick him up if I went in there and just make him madder or give in!!). Night two- two little whimpers at 4 am and 5 am...up for good at 5:30 am (not so bad for the second night!!). And now he sleeps until five and then the poor booger will not go back to sleep. 5 AM is sooooo early! It is still dark. So I've decided that I will go get him at 6 AM but not before 6. I'm thinking that within a week or two of doing this that he will hopefully sleep past 5 AM. Morning nap is actually pretty good right now, but he wants to go down early because he is so tired from getting up at 5. A big shout out to my friend Alison for helping me via email with the sleep training!! She encouraged me to keep him up closer to his normal nap time, and he took a nice 2 hr nap, and we were on schedule the rest of the day!!

One note that I do want to make about all of this is that I've never seen Henry so happy. He is already reaping the rewards of having uninterrupted nighttime sleep, and it makes me feel good as a parent that I did what was right for him. If you are reading this and thinking that you could never do that...well that was me too. But I had to do what was best for Henry and for me and although it was hard (like many decisions we have to make as parents)..I'm so happy I did it. I did have Henry's doctor check his ears and to do a complete look over on him to clear us for sleep training. He was completely on board and said we better do it now, or we were going to have trouble on our hands when he is a toddler.

Mommy update- The sleep deprivation has been tough, but I'm loving this summer with Henry. We are having the best time together, and I'm just soaking up these golden baby days as I know they are going way too fast.

Now for some pics if you have made it this far!! I'm going to start with a few cell phone pics sorry for the low quality.

I love this picture!!

Shaun built this upholstered cover for our fireplace so that Henry can have a safe play area!!

And yes he is wearing Christmas pjs in june :)

Cheerio/Food problem from post below...solved! I just shake the rug out every couple of days, and it has a rubber back so it washes great! For some reason...it looks so much better when the cheerios are on a rug lol.

Matching! Right before we hit the beach!

He LOVED the beach.

Family pic!

In an effort to be real on this blog...here is a pic from the weekend we will never forget...Henry's first ear infection. If he wasn't sleeping in his carseat (the only place he would sleep), he was screaming.

Clap, Clap, Clap

Also have some post on www.prayingforalittleone.blogspot.com...give me some comment love over there because I'm feeling a little down about lack of comments. Wondering if anyone is still reading?!

Lazy or Enjoying life

2010-05-25T14:47:00.000-07:00

blogging from my backyard again while henry sleeps in his outdoor swing (he has an ear infection and won't sleep laying down...never knew how bad an ear infection could be...wow. poor guy.): Currently there are enough cherrios to fill up an entire bowl of cereal on my kitchen floor, laundry on our love seat, laundry in the washer waiting for the dryer, and no dinner is prepared (yet...i am going to make spaghetti and salad). I sometimes question whether I'm being lazy (not doing my job) or because i dont stress about having the perfect house, I'm able to enjoy life with henry and shaun. I know there are a lot of sahms that clean in the evenings (like kitchen and laundry), but i find myself in my pjs as soon as henry is in the bed for the night, and i pretty much refuse to do anything productive in the evening. shaun and i eat dinner and watch our fav shows, and the only thing productive you might see us do is to take our plates to the sink (and maybe some couponing). i thrive on down time. I like to chill, visit, eat slowly...does this make me lazy? Maybe it does but for now the cherrios are going to stay on the floor, and im just going to sit here and watch Henry sleep.

lately.

2010-05-21T14:30:00.000-07:00

I'm typing this post from my phone in my backyard while i watch boo boo sleeping in his swing so excuse the typos and quick random thoughts.

I've been thinking about a few things that i think i might have forgotten to write about in hen's 9 mo post and wanted to jot some of those down before i forget...
Henry loves, loves getting his teeth brushed...or watching us brush our teeth. he thinks it is the best thing ever. i have this little song i sing while i brush them and he gets so excited when i start to sing the song.
Henry hates getting his diaper changed or clothes changed...ive tried songs, toys, holding him down, saying no and telling him he needs to lay down. he does seem to be getting better about getting dressed now that i talk him through it and use the same words. it is amazing what a contrast this is from the early baby days when he would giggle and coo during diaper changes (awww).
Henry also loves to play peek a boo...it is a guaranteed laugh/smile, and I even think he is starting to try to play it with us.
He also goes nuts over books right now. Every time after he nurses, he leans as far as he can over to the books and when I ask him if he wants to read a book...he does his little whinny grunt that he does to say "yes" until I start reading. And the best part is that he now turns the pages..love it :).
did i mention that i love him to bits? i think i might have mentioned it but just wanted to say it again. okay just wanted to write those thoughts down because time is just going by fast, and I'm doing every thing I can to soak up this sweet age. I know I'm going to blink, and my baby boy is going to be a toddler.

9 Month Update!

2010-05-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

I'm writing a 9 month update post, which means my little guy's first birthday is less than three months from now...how is that even possible??!! We just continue to fall in love with him more and more every day. This age is so fun (I do realize I say this every month)!

Stats:
Weight- 20 lbs 6 ounces (50th percentile)...Height (75th percentile)
Size 3 diapers (but last box in that size--already buying size 4 when I find them on sale--see post below)
12 mo clothes--Loving summer boy clothes. Mainly dressing Henry in polo shirts and shorts or john johns

Milestones:

Mobile!- Henry is completely mobile now as he can crawl very fast from room to room. It is so fun to watch him explore the house and to follow after us like a little puppy dog. His new mobility does make my job a little harder at times because I have to be watching him very closely but at the same time, he is soooo much happier now that he can get where he wants to go. His crawl is really cute because he doesn't let his knees touch the ground. I think the carpet was bothering him so he decided just to lift both knees.

Pulling up- This is just a recent development, and he still doesn't seem to know that he can do it because he isn't pulling up on everything yet, but we've seen him do it many times. He also will side step (slightly cruising) when he is standing and playing.

Baby Signs- I know everyone has their different opinions about baby signs, but I'm so glad that we introduced signs to Henry. This month he has mastered fish (smacking his lips together--too cute), and he makes the sign every time he sees a fish especially with his toy fish in his bath tub. He started sniffing and winking too (which is the sign for flower...although I don't know for sure if he has put that one together yet). Still shaking his head "no," but he won't do it when we ask him to anymore because he would rather do his new tricks lol. He is also clapping and waving bye bye. Signs we are working on now: drink, milk, more, bath, ball, flower, hat, water.

Words- Oh how Shaun and I are loving hearing our names. He for sure is associating us with our names and not just babbling anymore. Henry goes nuts when he sees his dada and says his name over and over. Tonight, Shaun came home while Henry was getting a bath, and he looked up at him and said clearly "hey dada." Shaun and I just looked at each other like...."what did he just say that??." It was very cute. Henry says mama more often when he wants me to feed him or if he needs something because he knows his mama takes care of him :). But for the record for Henry...his first word was dada, second was duck and third was mama. Really looking forward to hearing more in the coming months.

Word recognition- So fun to continue to see that Henry is starting to understand more and more of what we are saying. One of my fav moments of the day is to ask Henry when he is in his high chair if he wants to look outside. He gets soooo excited and looks at the window, and I open the blinds.

Favorite toys: Anything that isn't a toy lol. wires, toilet paper, trash cans, drawers, doors, hinges...etc.

Favorite books: A new book that mimi gave Henry that has pictures of babies in it...he loves it.

Eating/Nursing:
Breastfeeding- still going strong. I did notice a temporary decrease in my supply when I started my first cycle this past month, but I think we are back to normal now. He just got his top two teeth (got his two bottoms at 6 mo), and he has really started biting me hard recently. Obviously going to have to figure out how to get that to stop or we might be weaning sooner than I would like (goal/desire is to make it at least a year).

Finger foods- This month has been an interesting transition to finger foods. Henry loves to eat just about anything that he can feed himself, and he is starting to refuse baby food (and mama feeding him). I'm still trying to give him a jar or so at every meal with the finger foods, but he would much rather feed himself at this point. Some of his favs...LOVES cheerios, strawberries, turkey/chicken/beef, carrots, peas, olives, bananas. It is definitely messier, but so fun to watch him feed himself (and gives me some extra time in the kitchen for chores too).

Nighttime sleep/naps:
Oh we had some major issues with sleep this month (are you surprised lol?). I think it was a combo of a sinus infection, the top two teeth coming in, and the main problem was that he learned a new skill at the beginning of the month (going from tummy to sitting)--he didn't know how to get himself back to laying down. The good news is that for the most part, Henry is now going down easily for his naps and for night sleep. I guess it pays to stay consistent even during the rough times :). One thing that I think definitely helped is that I extended the time that I rocked him before putting him down. With all of the changes this month and mobility, I thought he might need some extra wind down time, and mama was right :). I still lay him down awake, but he is pretty drowsy by the time I put him in his bed.

Nighttime sleep- he is still waking around 4AM and sometimes around midnight. I'm tired. I'm ready for a full night's rest. And yes I'm going to have to do something, but it can't involve too much crying because I can't let him cry for long.

Now for a few pics:

First Mother's Day...so sweet (my hubby is the best!). I was emotional all weekend.

Mother's Day...going into church.

Enjoying his baby pool...loving this warm weather!

Perfect example of "toys"...and this was so cute because he knew to smile for the camera.

Not a good pic of it, but he starting blinking/winking and closing his eyes with a cheesy camera smile.

You can somewhat see his top teeth if you look closely too :)

Oh how I love my little boy. I'm so blessed.

"Saving Money is Making Money"

2010-05-01T11:11:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite quotes from my hubby is "saving money is making money" (especially since he likes to spend money lol). Such a simple statement, but it is so true. We could both have huge salaries and drive really nice cars with large car payments but at the end of the month if all we do is break even...then are we ever making money?! As a stay at home mom, I feel that it is important for me to "make" money by saving money for our family. And I really have felt like I've failed in being as resourceful as I need to be to keep us in a good place financially. So lately I've been starting to get into couponing, and I never knew it could be so much fun! It is so funny to me that once you get into the mindset that you are going to save money how savings just seem to start coming to you. I even found coupons in my bushes this past week! Shaun put all of our spending last month into an excel spreadsheet and the amount of money we were still paying in eating out was unbelievable! We are literally spending all of our free money in eating out. Shaun was still going out to lunch every day which was a habit we started when we were both working so now I'm making him a lunch every morning. And the huge bonus for me is that means that sometimes he will get off a hour earlier since he was working through lunch! I'm now going to work toward providing most if not all of our meals at home every week. I was cooking before just not as much on the weekend! In order to save the most money, I have to plan in advance what we are eating to get the most out of my grocery budget. I really look forward to the challenge of seeing how much money I can save and how little I can spend to feed us!

If you are thinking about going down to one income or saving money: (not that I'm an expert as I'm just starting to really focus my energy on this)

Most of my coupon/saving ideas I get from moneysavingmom.com (just go to the top and click stores and there you can find the stores in your area and the deal ideas for this week)

Used reliable vehicles (hondas)-no car payment=we can afford for me to stay at home

Remember the tax savings--You will most likely move down a bracket and so you aren't losing as much money as you think you are!

Cooking at home and bringing lunch to work!

I love the walm.art brand boneless skinless chicken breasts in a freezer bag. One bag=7 bucks=6 cups of cooked and diced chicken. I just pull out whatever I need like 2 or 3 breasts and auto-defrost in the microwave instead of trying to remember to set it out long before dinner. And I've also boiled the whole bag and diced the chicken and froze the chicken in freezer ziplocs with 2 cups each...perfect for a quick casserole or soup!

Baby clothes--amazing what consignment and yard sales have for super cheap and really high quality/hardly worn clothes! Also, you might be able to find a friend that you can just borrow clothes from if your baby was born in the same season the following year.

What are your money saving tips?? Anything cheap and easy that you like to make for dinner? Pass them along!

Fighting Sleep

2010-04-21T16:58:00.000-07:00

For the past couple of weeks, Henry has been fighting his naps and nighttime sleep like a little warrior. It all started when he learned how to push up from his tummy to sitting. I tuck him in nice and comfy and the moment I walk out of the room...he sits up and starts crying. Well no one can fall asleep sitting up so I usually have to go in several times to lay him back down. He will scream so loud when I lay him back down but then he usually quiets down until he pushes himself back to sitting again. Eventually, he gives in and just stays down and falls asleep, but this is getting a little exhausting for me and for Henry. Any tips or advice? Or I will even take a "oh yeah I remember that...it will get better soon."

And I thought I couldn't possibly love you more...

2010-04-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

It is hard to even begin to describe the love I have for Henry. I wanted to share this little story that I wrote for Henry, and I hope to print it out and laminate for us to read together some day soon.

And I Thought I Couldn't Possibly Love You More

My heart was beating out of my chest the moment I looked over at the test sitting on our bedside table. It was positive, and I couldn't believe my eyes. At that moment, I knew you were with us...growing inside mommy's belly. And I thought I couldn't possibly love you more...

But then I did. Daddy was squeezing my hand as we looked up at the screen. And there you were just as tiny as a coffee bean with a beating heart. ba bum ba bum ba bum. And I thought I couldn't possibly love you more...

But then I did. Weeks later, a nice nurse told us, "it's a boy!!!" And even though we knew all along, your daddy and I were so happy when we found out for sure. You were kicking and stretching, and I thought I couldn't possibly love you more...

But then I did. It was your birthday August 7, 2009 and the doctor told me just one more push and at that moment you came out of mommy's belly and into my arms. Your daddy and I could not get over how beautiful you were and that we could finally hold you. You were wide awake just looking around at everyone. It was love at first sight, and I thought I couldn't possibly love you more...

But then I did. It was before the sun even rose into the sky, and you and I were awake because as a baby you needed to eat a lot at night. You stopped eating for a second and looked up at me and smiled. And I thought I couldn't possibly love you more...

But then I did. Your daddy had you in the air flying you like an airplane, and you had perfect form like you always do with your head up and your arms to the side. You giggled so much that you hardly took a breath, and it was the cutest sound I ever heard, and I thought I couldn't possibly love you more...

But then I did. You were sick with a fever, and you didn't feel good at all. It made me so sad that you were sick, and I couldn't wait for you to feel better. As I wiped your soft forehead with a cool washcloth, I thought I couldn't love you possibly more.

But then I did. You had been practicing for weeks and trying so hard to crawl. We were playing in my room, and I stacked some blocks up for you. You took four big crawls forward and knocked them down. I was so proud of you for trying so hard like you always do, and I though I couldn't possibly love you more.

But then I did. and then I did again and again. You see Henry...my love for you will never stop. It will just continue to grow and grow. I couldn't possibly love you more than I do today....but I will.

8 Month Update!

2010-04-07T21:54:00.000-07:00

My little buddy is 8 months old today. I can't believe it. This was a huge month as far as development for Henry. It seemed like he was changing and doing something new on a daily basis. By the way...I know I get very detailed on these but I do that for me so I can remember! I don't want to forget these sweet little changes.

Stats:
Weight- Thankfully we haven't had a sick visit this month so I couldn't tell you!
Size- Definitely growing though....wearing mostly 12 months now (some 18 month sizes!)

Milestones:

Mobile without forward crawling!- This has been of course the biggest change. Henry has gone from just sitting and playing to almost crawling. He can get pretty much anywhere he wants to go with a scoot, lunge, rocking, and a few rolls. It all started especially when we went down to Orlando for a friend's wedding. We were in the car all day except for lunch at cracker and when we got him out to play at my friend's house in Orlando, he immediately got up on his knees and started rocking! I guess he had a lot of energy built up from the long day in the car and maybe he was thinking "man if I could just get out of this carseat I would...." He was fighting naps and going down for the night like crazy in FL (was doing fine in the pack n play in AL at my parent's house before we left for FL) because he was learning a new skill. Every time we would check on him to try to calm him...he was rocking his little heart out! He was also an expert backwards crawler although he is no longer using that since he has decided he wants to go forwards. Now he is doing this thing where he is keeping his hands on the ground but he is completely locking out his legs. It is like he thinks he has to walk to crawl...poor guy if he only knew how close he was when he was on his knees! (pic below to explain)

Word recognition- I can tell that Henry is starting to understand the meaning of some of the words that we use on a regular basis. Words like....more, night night, kiss, bye bye, eat, out, milk. Cute story--this could fall under the nursing category but I will just go ahead and share it here. Henry is such a distracted eater so I usually don't say a word when he nurses because I don't want to distract him more. Well I decided to try using some of the words/phrases that I use for solid feedings for nursing. When Henry pulled off to look around, I said "more" and he went right back to eating. I use that all of the time now, and it keeps him on task. Really surprised me that it worked!

Standing- Henry is getting really great at standing. He loves to stand and play with his Leap Frog music table or with trucks on top of an ottoman. He is not pulling up yet, but I'm sure it is coming soon!

Big boy crib- Which brings me to my next point, we had to drop Henry's mattress down. I cried when Shaun did it because it was just such a symbol to me of how fast he is growing up! The reason we decided to go ahead and do it is because he seems close to pulling up to stand, and he was somehow able to tear down his tiny love mobile (which is NOT tiny) and the camera for his video monitor.

Walker- Say what you want about walkers in the comment section...I know someone is going to say something. But for a very limited time every evening while I work in the kitchen, Henry has a blast walking/running back and forth and all around the kitchen. His favorite thing to do is to stay right by the dishwasher and to reach as far as he can possibly reach to try to get a fork or spoon. He is trying so hard! I usually plant a "safe" plastic cup or spoon for him to reach so that I don't have to snatch a fork out of his hand (although I had to do that today)

Waving Bye Bye- Henry just squeaked this one in for this month as he did it tonight at church. I also thought I saw him wave on Monday to this little kid that was waving to him outside a pizza place, but I was like "did he just do that....no...but did he?" I actually didn't see him wave at church because Shaun had him, but Shaun said it was very obvious. He was moving one arm up and down and then opening and closing the other hand to wave. I always move his arm up and down when we say bye to Shaun every morning so that is probably why he was doing that!

Tummy to Sitting position- Just another example of the new mobility...Henry has no problem going from tummy to sitting, and I'm always surprised to look over and see him sitting when I left him on his tummy.

Shaking his head- Shaun and I can't get enough of Henry shaking his head...it is sooo cute. He doesn't know he is saying no yet so I guess it will stop being as cute once he uses it to tell us no. The first time he ever did this was again in FL at our friend's wedding, Shaun was holding him and another guy started shaking his head at Henry, and Henry just started doing it. We couldn't believe it. Well Henry quickly learned that we thought it was hilarious so now he does it for us all of the time. And he shakes his head when a stranger comes up...like "hey look what I can do?" He also uses it to communicate..."hey don't put me to bed" and "oh I'm so happy"

Favorite toys- Anything he isn't supposed to have or things around the house like empty bottles, paper, door hinges...and he loves white tags! he will play with the white tag on any toy including his taggie book. He also really likes his trucks and leap frog music table and any balls!

Favorite books- Still loves "little cow" and "i love you more than" and "my little lovebug"

Eating/Nursing:
Breastfeeding is still going well despite being distracted. I hope to have a separate post about breastfeeding in the near future. 4 feedings a day and one night feeding
Eating--he loves to eat! 3 meals a day with stage 2 foods

Nighttime sleep and Naps:
Naps are getting better and better with time. I'm just trying to be consistent, and I hope that one day that pays off to longer naps. In the meantime, I try not to let Henry's tendency to take short naps bother me too much!

Nighttime sleep- well here we are at 8 months and I'm still not getting a full nights sleep. But it is my fault!! Completely! I kept feeding Henry whenever he woke up because it was just the sweetest and easiest thing to do instead of using a paci or whatever. Well now I'm Henry's paci. I was having to get up at 12 AM and 4 or 5 AM for a feeding. I told Shaun about my frustrations, and he just happened to still be awake that night (last Saturday) when Henry woke up at 12 AM. I was about to get up when I heard Henry scream really loud and then stop. I looked at the monitor, and Henry was out with his paci! Shaun had gone in there to put his paci in just to see what he would do. Shaun replaced the paci at midnight for 3 nights straight and guess who didn't even wake last night at midnight...yep! So my fault all along! So now I'm going to wait a few more days and then work on the 5 AM.

Now for the pics!!

Didn't they look cute at the wedding....awwwh!

Henry's Baptism

Happy to be at such a neat mall (orlando)

Before Downtown Disney...

After Downtown Disney :)

"Okay enough with the pics already."

Yes...We were matching ;)

Love.

Okay I need to post the pics from Easter and more but I'm just too tired so I'm going to have to post some more later!

Whew!

2010-04-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

I need a vacation after my vacation! March literally felt like it didn't exist for me because it went by so fast. We had so much going on this past month with Henry's baptism, visiting my parents, and a road trip to a great friend's wedding weekend in Orlando. It was a very fun month, but I'm looking forward to some down time. Once I finally get the house clean and Henry's drawers and closets changed out with his new size, I'm just going to chill and spend a lot of time with Henry outside strolling or swinging on our porch (we got a new swing for Henry!). My plan for meals this summer is to grill at least once or twice a week because number one...it is delicious and number two...it doesn't make a mess! I'm just trying to soak up this time with a simple life with just one little sweet baby boy because he is already growing up way too fast. I have a lot of updates on my hen hen (who is currently taking forever to fall asleep tonight but not crying just playing), but I will save those for his EIGHT(!) month post in a few days. Just wanted to update! yay spring!

7 Month Update

2010-03-07T18:07:00.000-08:00

Henry turned seven months old today and looking back on this past month, it is hard to believe how much he has changed in one month. I'm going to try to remember everything, but I'm sure I will forget some things.

Stats:

Weight- I have no idea...we haven't had a sick visit or a regular one (yay!)
Size 3 Pampers Baby Dry--no longer in swaddlers and since the switch....no more leaks and they do great overnight (12 hours=very heavy but dry diaper)
Wearing size 9 months in some things but mainly 12 months

Milestones:

Saying dada often...still doesn't associate it with Shaun but still sweet to hear (I love when he just mouths it like a whisper instead of saying it loud like he is practicing-so cute)
Signing "out" when he wants to get out of his jumper or walker
Looking around objects to see something (like if I'm in the way of seeing his daddy...he will lean over to one side until he catches a glimpse)
Using pincher grasp to pick up small gerber star puffs (this was just this past week--I started putting two on his tray at dinner and at first he would only rake for them. After a few days, he caught on and used his thumb and pointer finger to pick it up. The first time was adorable because he was concentrating so hard. His little hand was slightly shaking as he ever so carefully brought it up to his mouth.)
Finally locking his arms in a push-up on his tummy
Starting to sleep the entire 12 hours without a feeding (first time was last night so I'm not expecting it to be quite just yet but we are close--usually just a 4 or 5 am feeding)
"Walking" in his walker on our kitchen floor...just figured out how to go forward and not just backwards
Sitting independently (although I still sit nearby because he will throw himself back sometimes)
TEETH!! Two cute little bottom teeth came out this month. He worked on them while he was five months old and they popped out when he was six months old without too much fussiness.

Eating/Nursing

Not too much to report all is going well with breastfeeding...he is still speedy, and we still have approx. five feedings per day
Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner--starting some stage 2 foods but mainly still on stage 1. Can't really tell what Henry's favs are anymore because he gobbles up everything. He even leans forward for me to put his bib on...he is ready to chow down!

Naps

Well naps were going well most of the month, but they haven't been going as well the past week. I'm going to thank tooth #2 for that as well as I feel like Henry is "learning" a new skill. He rolls over to his tummy now when I put him to bed, and this makes him get upset. It seems though like he might be turning into a tummy sleeper because he is doing it in his sleep at night.

Now for the pics...

First time in a baby swing--loved it!

Working hard doing my push-ups

Loves his ducky tub....best 10 bucks I've ever spent on baby gear!

Hanging out with mommy in the nursing room at church because I'm too cool for nursery :)--today.

I was not a happy camper today but you wouldn't be able to tell from this pic. Happy 7 months to me!

A silly new post below too....just keeping it real here!

"Well you never know"

2010-03-07T16:56:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been told by many "well....you never know," in reference to the fact that sometimes a couple can have infertility problems the first time but then can subsequently have a surprise pregnancy. And since we aren't preventing...well they are right, I guess we don't really know....stranger things have happened when two people get together on a regular basis ;). On one hand, it is an encouraging and happy thought that it is possible that we could never have to find ourselves trying to conceive in a doctor's office again and would instead enjoy hearing the "you do know how that happens" comments. But on the other hand, it means that I have to have this tiny little nagging thought in the back of my brain that it is possible that I could be pregnant or have two close together in age. I don't think about it too much because I really feel that we will continue to have a difficult time conceiving (endometriosis/high fsh/poor ovulation), but at the same time we all know that God can do anything. For my readers who have been with me from the beginning, you know how addicted I was/am to peeing on sticks. If it wasn't an ovulation predictor kit test (by the way for those who are trying...answer ovulation test strips pack of 20 were my fav)...it was a pregnancy test way too early at like 8 days past ovulation. I pretty much couldn't help myself and spent way too much money on tests. Well I must confess that recently I had the urge again to take a test. It just hit me all of a sudden in my bathroom because I've been dealing with frequent urination issues lately (mind automatically jumps to pregnancy instead of UTI!). I searched and searched through my bathroom cabinets. There were NO new tests (I know...shocking). But I did find some positive pregnancy tests from when I found out I was pregnant with Henry (I can't throw them in the trash...they are too pretty to look at) so I did what any normal infertile person would do, and I peed on the old stick. The second line didn't get any darker so I called it a negative and went about my day/week/month. I just felt the need to get that off my chest so thanks for listening. Hi my name is Courtney and I'm a POAS addict.

Remember This

2010-03-05T16:58:00.000-08:00

Praying for a Little One--for Lisa

2010-03-02T20:35:00.000-08:00

Go over to prayingforalittleone to read Lisa's story and leave a comment letting her know that you are praying for her. I know it will mean a lot to Lisa to hear of perfect strangers taking a moment to pray for her.

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20

We did it!!

2010-02-28T16:13:00.000-08:00

Henry made it an entire church service without the nursery workers paging me! (if you don't know what I'm talking about see separation anxiety post below). Well....maybe not an entire church service...I picked him up as soon as I could tell the sermon was coming to a close. Another confession is that I lurked around the hall by the nursery, sat in an empty dark classroom, and then found myself walking outside around the church to the narthex so that I could even listen more closely. I left the church service after the first two hymns because I just couldn't stomach the anxiety of thinking that Henry was losing it in the nursery, and I needed to know that he was okay. Thank you all for the many wonderful suggestions and encouragement. So what did we do? Well we skipped sunday school, put him down for his morning nap later so he would be fresh, packed a bottle of juice for comforting (mostly water--I know...don't give me the speech...he only had a little), and daddy helped with dropping off. Henry and Dada also spent Saturday morning together picking up chicky breakfast and going to l.owes. When I picked up Henry, you could tell that the sweet nursery workers were proud of themselves for keeping him happy the whole service (as they should be!). They told me that he cried right at first when he was dropped off but that they were able to calm him down. I know it couldn't have taken that long since I was snooping by song #3. Oh the love I have for this little boy. I really thought I couldn't possibly love him more when I first held him in my arms but approaching seven months the bond and love is just too much to even put into words. Not saying this is the end of our nursery/babysitting problems but happy to see some progress!

Remember This

2010-02-24T14:06:00.000-08:00

I'm starting a new series of posts "Remember This" that are basically notes to myself to remember sweet things about Henry. Feel free to skip these short posts or read along as Shaun and I might be the only ones that find these posts interesting.

(There is another new post below as well so please give me your advice on that)

A couple times a week, Henry and I go to Shaun's work to either bring him lunch from home or take him out to lunch. Today when we pulled in to Shaun's office, Henry started squealing with delight and throwing up his arms. He was sooooo happy. I was confused at first while all of a sudden he went from quiet to excited, but then it hit me that he actually knew we were going to see his daddy. The building is really tall and is very distinguishable from other buildings around our area, and I guess he has started to figure out that his daddy is in the tall building during the day. He kept his eyes locked on the front doors, and he could hardly contain his excitement. When Shaun walked through the doors, his face lit up, and he squealed again with happiness. It warms my heart so much to see the relationship that Shaun and Henry have already in just six months. They really have a special father-son relationship. So cute :)

Separation Anxiety

2010-02-24T13:51:00.000-08:00

Henry is having a really hard time in church nursery these days. I get paged EVERY Wednesday night and Sunday morning. I rush as fast as I can to the nursery to find my little man crying this awful cry. The only other times besides nursery that I've heard him cry like this is when he gets his shots so that should tell you how bad it sounds. It is impossible for him to fall asleep in nursery because he is not used to tuning out other babies crying and bright lights so I thought his crying was just related to being overtired. But this past Sunday, I got paged early in the service, and Henry was crying like crazy. I picked him up and cuddled with him in a rocking chair, and he immediately started getting happy. He was even smiling at the other nursery workers. They have been telling me for weeks that he is spoiled, and they have been begging me to go back to work (it always cracks me up when they say that!). I gave him back to a nursery worker, and he was being sweet and cuddling with her while I was in the room talking to them. I decided to try to leave the room to see how he would react since he was calm and happy again. They said he watched me the entire time I was leaving the room, and the moment I shut the door...he started screaming again. I guess this confirmed for me that he is having some separation anxiety issues. Part of me wants to just think that is the sweetest thing ever that he is upset because he doesn't have his mama, but the other part of me knows that it is best for him and for me to have a few moments away from each other. I can count on one hand the amount of times I have left Henry (except for church nursery) always for a short amount of time and the amount of bottles he has taken on two hands. We don't have any family in town, and it sure is a lot of money to hire a babysitter for the night, and I don't like to pump (excuses, excuses, excuses). I know we need to start getting better about planning some dates and maybe some mommy time twice a month or so. I have gotten pretty close to giving up on nursery for Henry and just keeping him with me at church, but I know he is going to have to go at some time so we might as well keep trying. Tonight I'm going to just drop him off for ten minutes so that he can have some play time and maybe I will just try to increase that time from week to week. Any advice on this??

For THIS Child I Prayed

2010-02-17T07:17:00.000-08:00

Several months ago, I remember receiving a devotion from Sarah's Laughter (you can find more information about their ministry and even an online video chat support group here) about Hannah and the verse that this blog is based on 1 Samuel 1:27 "For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him." The author of the devotion imagined that if we were able to hear Hannah speak those words that the emphasis would be on "this." For this child I prayed. All of the tears, all of the heartache, waiting, and prayers..it was for this child. The moment that I saw Henry's face...I got it...I remember thinking, "I know you. I've just been waiting for you." For this little one we prayed. I still remember the pain of infertility like it was yesterday, and I still process things through the lenses of infertility but I understand why I had to experience it now. We were waiting for Henry. I was just praying for A baby, but God wanted to give us Henry. I desperately cried out for God to hurry up and give us A baby, but He knew all along that His plan was much greater than ours.

For this little one we prayed...

and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him.

6 months....What??!!

2010-02-11T20:44:00.000-08:00

So I know that I start pretty much every monthly update on Henry with "I can't believe he is...," but I really, really can't believe that my little buddy is six months old already. A half of a year! This was by far the fastest and sweetest six months of my life. I just love him to bits. I love the way his skin feels...the way he smells (his breath smells so sweet!)...the facial expressions he makes. I just can't get enough of my sweet little boy. This has been a huge month of development and changes for Henry. He is growing up so fast!

Stats:

Weight- 18 lbs 14 ounces at six month checkup on Monday
75th percentile in height and weight
Size 3 diapers
Wearing size 6-9 months clothes but already starting to outgrow them!

Milestones:

Starting to speak in single consonants...mainly babababa but we have heard dada and mama in there somewhere :). Love listening to him talk!

Sitting up with little if any support. I love watching Henry sit and play. He looks like such a big baby. He is no longer content for long laying on his back to play. He wants to be sitting up which requires mommy since he hasn't completely figured out yet that he can't throw himself back. But I did setup the pack and play yesterday, and he really enjoyed sitting in a corner playing (yay!).
Fine Motor Development--This is where I've especially noticed a significant difference this month. Henry is getting his hands on everything. He can grab something so fast that I can't even get it before he has it in his hands. He picks up small items...rakes or reaches for toys or paper or whatever he can find and transfers them easily from hand to hand. His paci tricks are pretty impressive. If his paci falls out in the crib next to his ear or on top of his head, he can reach back without looking and pop it back into his mouth. It is so funny to watch him on the video monitor. And he even kept stealing his little friend's toy at a super bowl party this weekend. Hmmm...wonder what this means for when he is a toddler??!!

Stranger/separation anxiety-- I keep getting paged to calm Henry down in the nursery because he has started crying really, really hard, and they can't get him to stop. We are working on trying to figure out a sunday and wed night routine that will hopefully prevent this from happening. His cry is soooo sad...I never hear that cry when I'm around. It is a very distinct--scared/in pain cry.

Tummy Time- Henry is starting to grunt a lot on his tummy because he wants to move. He is sticking his butt in the air and starting to tuck his feet under his butt to try to scoot.
Eating- Breastfeeding is still going great. He is super fast! One thing that is new this month is that he has to keep his "free" hand busy the entire time he is nursing by touching my face, lips, grabing my nose, pulling my hair (ouch....trying to get him to stop that!)...it is precious. I guess six months is when most people think it is normal to quit because I've had a lot of people asking me if I'm weaning lately. My goal is still a year but of course we will just have to see how it goes. The thought of quiting makes me really sad. Henry loves solids, and we are now having a breakfast, lunch and dinner. His favs are green beans, carrots (loves them), and applesauce.

Sleeping- Giving up the dreamfeed this week, and Henry is sleeping through the night now. Naps are so much better this month thanks to the routine and CIO but if he gets overtired then forget it!! And I almost feel like he might be starting to go to two naps soon...is that possible?

Favorite Toys- Henry loves boxes and anything that doesn't look like a real toy lol. He also loves his taggie ball and keys.

I have been blogging a lot in my head (does anyone else do that?) so I hope to have time to blog more soon. Until then....here are some sweet pics from this month.

First time riding without the carrier in the big stroller...he loved it!

First time in the cart without the carrier...liked it for a little bit, but couldn't handle it for long.

First time in high chair

I can sit-up!

Henry loves his jumper saucer

Playing in the pack n play...he loves that book too!

My Big Boy

2010-01-26T12:28:00.000-08:00

Oh how I'm enjoying this stage! I finally feel like Henry and I have a little routine, and it feels great! It seems like Henry is doing something new everyday, and Shaun and I can't get over how much we love him and how our love continues to grow daily. Before I continue with a little update...here are a few fav pics of this stage....can't you tell already that he is such a little character?!

Henry can't sit-up on his own yet without a little support, but he enjoys playing in boxes in the meantime.

This is one of my favorite photos....He was playing with the duck, and I looked down to wash his feet, and this is what I saw when I looked up!!

And we are finally taking regular naps without putting up too much of a fight (as long as Mommy puts me to bed on time!). Note: I was washing his crib sheet that is why the other blanket is down. And yes he sleeps with a blanket and a blankie for naps...scared me to death right at first but he sleeps better, and I still watch him carefully on the video monitor. I also want to say that babywise works. It took us a lot longer than most to get there, but it is sooooo great when I can tell that he needs a nap, give him a good squeeze, place him in his crib awake with all of his goodies, give him a kiss and say night night and he falls asleep!!

Teething- I can still tell that his bottom gums bother him at times, but I'm able to usually make him feel better with the OHTC combo--orajel, hylands teething tablets, tylenol, and chewing washcloth or teether. I can't tell you what works...I just know that all of them combined make him happy so when I can tell they are bothering him (now only about once or so a day....I give him the combo). No teeth sightings yet, but I do feel a little something when I rub his gums so maybe just maybe one will pop out soon!

Sleep Training- Yes maybe teething wasn't the best time to decide to do nighttime sleep training. Call me a bad mom or whatever you want to call me because I couldn't take anymore. Henry was acting like he was a newborn again waking every one to two hours, and I was feeding him every time he was waking (new mom mistake). And this was going on for weeks before the teething started so it wasn't related. Talked to his pediatrician, and he told me that I needed to stop feeding him at night and then gave me advice on letting him cry it out. Well I didn't want to do it all at once since that would be a major shock so I started with one week of night weaning. Instead of feeding him every time he woke up, I started not feeding him ONE feeding at a time per night. I still would go give him his paci and pat him and then I left the room. If he fussed (not hard crying), I just set a timer next to my night stand, and he never fussed more than a few minutes before falling back asleep. This was hard, but at the same time it felt like parenting. I knew it was best for Henry to be able to have a good night sleep and not rely on me (or my boob lol) every hour to sleep because that is not a restful sleep--believe me I know!! I could tell that I was doing the weaning gradually enough because although my boobs were full...they weren't killing or hard. Once I completely eliminated the night feedings, the next step was to not go into his room and let him cry it out. I really, really didn't want to have to do this step. I tried doing the baby whisperer method of picking the baby up just until they calm down and then putting them right back down (she would sometimes do this hundreds of times the first night), but it did NOT work and made Henry very upset. So I finally listened to my pediatrician and my wise friends and stopped reading about how I was going to hurt him forever and just did it. I thought about blogging so I would have a record for if/when we have another baby, but I didn't and now I can't remember the exact details. All I know is that he never went past ten minutes with crying it out! The first night he woke several times and every day after that he stopped waking as much. Last night he slept without a peep until 5:45! wooohooo! I did feed him then, but I put him back in his bed to sleep a little longer. One tradition/habit that we have started that Shaun and I both really like is that Henry gets tired of his bed during the 6 AM hour, and he really doesn't want to be in there any longer (can you blame him...that is almost 11 hours!). So I go get him and put him in bed in between us so we can get another hour or so (we are 7ish AM people). Henry is soooo cute. He smiles at his daddy and then he stretches out his arms so he can touch both of us at the same time. He pats his daddy's face and grabs my nose or whatever for a few minutes and then he just falls asleep...so sweet! I really don't mind it because it is good quality family time (we watch daddy get ready for work), and so far it hasn't caused any problems with Henry sleeping in his crib for naps and nighttime sleep.

So yes for me it took five months (almost six!!) to get a routine (and sleep!) and to feel like I'm back on my feet again and I'm okay with that. The house is starting to get clean again. I'm cooking every night of the week (major budget restrictions while we pay off these medical bills). And most importantly, I'm just loving being a mommy to my sweet little big boy. I ran into a friend of mine at a birthday party this weekend who also had a baby about six weeks after me. When we first met, we hit it off talking non-stop about endometriosis and infertility treatments as we were both feeling alone and emotionally drained from treatments and waiting. On Saturday, we talked about night waking, teething, breastfeeding and what miracles our little babies are to us. She got her butt kicked by motherhood too so it was good to see that I wasn't alone. I guess I just expected more out of my infertile self. I thought I wouldn't skip a beat and that I would know exactly what to do. I was/am prideful and thought that if God could just give me my baby that I wouldn't need any help after that. I now find myself in constant prayer for my little one and for wisdom, strength, and energy to be a good mother and wife.

Poor Guy :(

2010-01-20T15:49:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all of the great teething advice! Henry just got a dosage of tylenol (can't start motrin until 6 months--only a few more weeks), hylands teething tablets and orajel. He is currently gnawing on a cold washcloth in his crib with his mobile entertaining him for a few minutes. Today makes two weeks of the slight fever, fussiness, drooling, and chewing. I think I saw some white starting to show through the gums on the bottom so I'm hoping this means the tooth/teeth will come out soon. Even with being fussy most of the day, he still has his moments where his giggle box gets the best of him and those precious smiles and giggles make my day. He really is a cutie even when he doesn't feel good. I put the washcloth on his head because I think it makes him feel better with his "fever." I don't care what the pediatrician office says 99 something is still a fever to me! See Poor Mr. Henry below...

New post on prayingforalittleone....

Teething.

2010-01-18T14:28:00.000-08:00

I had to laugh when I came upon this from the Dr. Sears' website today:
"Your beautiful five-month-old baby boy, who has been the most perfect little angel since birth, has suddenly turned into a cranky, fussy, drooling, chews-on- everything-in-site little monster! He is now keeping you up half the night, and needs to be held, bounced, and nursed all day long. Welcome to the wonderful world of TEETHING!"
We are coming up on two weeks now that Henry has been running a slight fever (pediatrician's office doesn't even technically call it a fever) and being a little fussy buddy. The fever and the pain isn't all the time (thank goodness!), but even when he isn't screaming while touching his gums, the drooling and chewing speaks for itself. It seems to bother him more in the afternoon/evening for some reason and especially when he is playing by himself. The pain is making him more of a "needy" baby than he has ever been in the past, and he starts to fuss the moment I even think about leaving the room. I know that some of the extra fussiness is probably just Henry's frustration of not being able to move yet and maybe some slight seperation anxiety, but I can also tell that teething has something to do with it too. So how am I doing? I have my moments. It just makes me literally sick to see him in pain and sometimes by the end of a long day I feel very overwhelmed and inadequate as a mom. Shaun will come home and spend every little bit of energy he has left giving Henry the happiest ten minutes of his day. While I'm incredibly grateful for such a loving husband and daddy and for their precious relationship, it has (just being honest) made me question why I can't do that for Henry. But Shaun has been so sweet to remind me that he can keep that energy level up for ten to fifteen minutes, but he couldn't do it all day long. This week I'm trying not to feel guilty when Henry doesn't seem happy, and I'm instead just focusing on soothing him and being a good mommy. This too shall pass and in the end two sweet little baby teeth will pop out, and I'm sure I will cry when that happens because it will just be another sign that my sweet boy is already growing up.

Encouraged.

2010-01-14T08:20:00.000-08:00

Thank you so much to all of you who let me know you were reading during international de-lurking week. It meant the world to me to hear from all of you. I felt so discouraged after the below trip to Wal-Mart when I saw one of our sisters hurting, and I did nothing. I prayed that if God wanted me to speak to her that He would give me the opportunity, but I struggled with why He would let me overhear her conversation if He didn't want me to speak with her. After reading your comments, it is clear to me that God let me see the girl in the purple shirt so that He could encourage some of you who needed to know that you are not alone. Some of you mentioned that you haven't shared your struggles yet with anyone in real life. It really is such a hard decision of when and who to share infertility with because sometimes putting yourself out there can lead to some hurtful comments but at the same time, it is very hard to walk this journey alone. If you aren't ready to share with those in real life (and only you and your husband will know when is the right time) know that there is an amazing support group in the infertility blogging community. A good place to start is Stirrup Queens with her very well organized blogroll of the ALI (adoption, loss, infertility) community. Your encouraging comments have made me start thinking and praying more about Praying for a Little One as I really would like to be able to continue to write about infertility. More on that later...

Dear Girl in the Purple Shirt

2010-01-11T16:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Girl in the Purple Shirt at Wal-Mart,
You don't know me, but I couldn't help but overhear your phone conversation today with your mom. I really didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you said estrogen really loud and words like that get my attention. A progesterone level of 14 isn't the best, but it isn't nearly as bad as your gyn nurse made you think. I don't know why they wanted it to be at least 18...pretty sure 16 was the "great" ovulatory number just last year. I would be surprised if your dr already wants to up your dosage just based on that progesterone number. I really wanted to say something to you, but you made absolutely no eye contact with me, and I don't blame you. I was just another young "fertile" mom to you with a sweet baby asleep in my cart, and you were in too much pain to look. I even heard you complain to your mom about how walmart has now changed their layout so that you have to walk right through the baby section to get anywhere. I remember all too well avoiding "that" corner of walmart, and I really do understand why walking by something as simple as formula and baby food causes a lump in your throat on a bad day. It was like baby was everywhere in the store (including this really adorable baby girl with a sheep coat on), and I felt terrible that I was part of causing you pain. I really hope your miracle is coming soon and that one day you will be able to do something as simple as grocery shopping without feeling the pain. I've been there, and I know how infertility follows you throughout your day.
Love,
An Infertile Wal-Mart Shopper

5 Months Old!

2010-01-07T21:05:00.000-08:00

Look at those chunky cheeks! Henry is growing like a weed, and he has changed so much in just one month. I packed clothes for him to go to my parents for the holidays, and he completely grew out of them and his diapers in the two weeks that we were there! I love my little buddy. I have to hear at least one belly laugh a day--I call it my giggle quota. Now for the stats....

Size:
I haven't gotten him weighed this month but I did step on the scale with him, and he is somewhere between 18 and 19 lbs.
Diapers--size 2 but we are going to need to move to size 3 as soon as we finish this little batch
Clothes--he is not out of 3-6 month clothes and already starting to fill out 6-9 month outifts.

Milestones:
Still not rolling over, but I know he can do it. If I give him the slightest little help, he can roll over. I honestly just don't think he has figured out yet that he can use it for transportation.
The biggest milestone I've noticed this month by far is his hand coordination. He is reaching for everything in sight (including anything I have in my hands), and he can pass objects from one hand to the other. We upgraded his pacis to 6 month size (thanks Mimi--I still had him in 0 month size) and now Henry enjoys showing off his paci tricks. My favorite thing to do is to move the paci into his reach and watch him grab it and put it in his mouth. He is sometimes successful with getting it in his mouth correctly but other times he just chews on the sides.
Preference for toys- he is definitely starting to show that he likes some toys more than others. He loves the little ducky in the picture above.
Talking- Henry loves to talk/scream especially with his daddy. It always cracks me up and warms my heart to listen to all of the little sounds that he comes up with. This morning, he woke up wanting to spit and talk at the same time, and he continued to do this all day long...so funny!
Henry is also starting to get upset when he sees me leave the room while he is playing during the day. And he goes absolutely crazy over his daddy. Here is their favorite activity by far....airplane. Henry just squeals and squeals when Shaun starts the plane.

Sleeping and Eating:

Naptimes are so much better. I've really worked on getting a nap routine this month, and Henry seems to be responding. I have found that Henry and I both don't do well with strict crying it out so I do the Baby Whisperer method of going in just to settle him and then leaving. I put his paci back...hand him his blankie...tuck his blanket around him and if he is very upset I hold my hand on his chest until he calms down...then I tell him night night and leave the room.

Nighttime- Well we have some good and bad as far as this month goes with night sleeping. The good is that we have a great evening routine that is working for all of us. Henry usually goes to bed around 7:30, and I try to stay pretty consistent with his bedtime. The bad is that with moving up his bed time...I'm losing a little more sleep because his longest stretch is when I'm awake.  I'm trying not to feed as much at night, but I can still tell Henry is hungry so I'm working on trying to get him to eat more during the day. I'm still hoping and praying that Henry will soon sleep through the night.  I'm getting up about 3-4 times a night and that is pretty much like a newborn ;).

Eating--Nursing is still going well. We just have to have complete silence and usually a pretty dark or boring area to nurse. I have also found that I need to feed him as soon as he wakes up without waiting no matter what time it is because he eats better when he is still a little sleepy.  Henry is adoring solid foods. He gets pretty excited when I put his bib on him and open a jar of food. I'm hoping he is going to continue being such a good little eater.

On another note....this week is international de-lurking week.  There is nothing wrong with just reading and not commenting, but it would bring me so much joy to hear from who is reading out there. How did you find my blog if you remember? There is an option where you don't even have to log in to comment so feel free to use that option. I lurk on many blogs without commenting myself so I completely understand if you have never commented before but it would just be so much fun to hear from all of you. I know y'all are out there because I have a counter!

Best Year of My Life

2009-12-31T10:38:00.000-08:00

Last year, I was glad to say goodbye to 2008 with hope in my heart and my tummy for a great 2009. And 2009 did not disappoint...it was by far the best year of my life. Sure there were trials like bedrest for six weeks, but I only look back on that time with the fondest of memories. I absolutely loved being pregnant with Henry. It was such a precious time. And of course the highlight of this year and my life was the birth of Henry. We just love him to pieces. There are times where we just have to pinch ourselves because we can't believe that Henry is our son and how blessed we are to have him in our lives. Shaun and I had a moment like that the other day riding in the car. Shaun looked back in the rear view mirror, and Henry was completely out asleep (we have a mirror so we can see him). "Just look at him," he said with obvious amazement in his voice. I looked back and just took a moment to see him sitting there with his chunky cheeks asleep with his head over to one side. I can't describe the joy that filled my heart.

This year might have been full of trials for you. It could have been the worst year of your life (like my 2008), but rest in the knowledge that we serve a most faithful and sovereign God. Our timing isn't always His timing, but His timing is always perfect. 2009 wouldn't have been so sweet without the trials of 2007 and 2008. So I raise my glass to all of you my sweet readers who have been there through the good and bad and who have treated me (a complete stranger!) as one of your good friends. Praying that 2010 will be a most precious year for all of you!

Never Say Never

2009-12-23T20:10:00.000-08:00

The first four months of motherhood have been the most challenging and rewarding time of my life. It is hard to put into words the joy that I feel in my heart when Henry giggles with me or even just looks up at me with such a deep serious look on his face. I'm so in love. But it is hard to believe what a huge transition having him in our lives has been for us even when we waited and prayed so long for him. I thought I was "prepared" and that surely since we went through all of the infertility treatments and emotional pain that the actually having a baby part of this journey would be easy. I was wrong. Before I continue, let me be completely clear that suffering (and yes I do believe it was suffering) through infertility was definitely the hardest part. It was a daily/hourly/minute by minute constant struggle and life consuming trial. It is just that my perception/dreams of how it was going to be and actual reality...well there is a big difference between the two. I listened and watched as mothers around me would say and do things, and the thought would pop in my head..."oh I would never do that." Or "it is not going to be like that for me because all I want more than anything is sleepless nights." So many things that I said or thought that I would never do...I have done. I no longer give advice to friends with older babies than Henry as I get that I really have absolutely no concept of what awaits me in a few weeks let alone in a few months. So for everyone's entertainment...here is just a little sample of the never say never lessons learned.
-never will i ever breastfeed in public--let's see where has henry eaten? restaurants, park benches, backseat of my honda, underneath cape at the hair salon, parties...my personal fav...in the waiting room of a car repair shop while the repairman discusses repairs with me. I do attempt to cover up though!
-never will i ever leave a shirt on that is drenched with spitup--daily occurence. I have also abandoned burp cloths...my shirt and hands are so much easier.
-never will i ever let my baby cry it out--as much as I hate this...it actually does work.
-never will i ever put my baby in bed with me (too dangerous!/also hurts sleep training mentioned above)_...I do it all of the time.
-never will i ever get mad at my baby--I know it is hard to believe how I could ever get mad at such a sweet little guy but it is possible when sleep deprivation takes its toll.
-never will i ever still be getting up several times a night at four months--haha.
And there are sooooo many more where that came from! So grateful for the opportunity to learn these lessons the hard way.

Yawn.

2009-12-11T14:47:00.000-08:00

I'm exhausted. Soooo tired and no matter how much sleep I get...I can't seem to feel better. I finally broke down today and went to the doctor. Dr ran a thyroid and CBC that they will get back on Monday. Apparently there are several postpartum thyroid conditions so dr wants to rule those out. Will keep y'all posted!

4 Months Old!

2009-12-08T12:01:00.000-08:00

4 Month Update!

Stats:

75th percentile in height and weight...16lbs 2 ounces, mainly still in size 3-6 months, size 1-2 diapers (need to move up as soon as we are done with our big box from Sams!)

Milestones:

Almost rolling over! He completely moves his body all the way over except for the last little bit so he could probably do it any day now.
Laughing- He has been doing a short giggle for weeks now, but Henry is starting to belly laugh, and I don't think I've ever heard a more precious sound in my entire life. Shaun found a spot this morning (right under his chin on his neck) that gets him to laugh just about every time. I'm very excited about this!

Hands- Starting to grab objects and check them out. Still putting his hands in his mouth every chance he gets.

Kick, Kick, Kick- Henry still loves to kick, and he can kick very hard. He has actually hurt me a couple
times.

Talking- Henry is still a very talkative baby and a good listener.

Favorites:

Music and Singing- I sing to him all of the time, and he smiles and coos every time. My favorite song to sing to him is "I've Got My Baby" by Fatih Hill (post with lyrics coming soon). I also have two songs that I've made up called "I Love My Baby" and "It's bath time or It's nap time." Henry loves music! If he is a little fussy, a little music usually makes him stop and his eyes light up.

Daddy Time- Henry LOVES his daddy. They play airplane and make silly noises. He gets a big smile on his face when Shaun gets home from work, and he follows him around the room with his eyes.
Favorite Toy- A little blue dinosaur that plays music

Sleeping and Eating:

Naps- We've been doing some major sleep training for naps (babywise) around here the past week, and I can't believe the difference it has made in our days. I never thought I would be able to let him cry it out, but he made the decision easy for me because he was crying hard while I was holding him before every nap. So I had the choice to either try to bounce and rock him to sleep every nap while he screamed or I could lay him in his crib and let him fuss a little before falling to sleep. I figured out after looking back at some babywise info and this awesome blog that Henry's awake time was too long and that he was getting overtired which was causing him to fight his sleep and only take short naps. Once I started putting him in his crib at the right time, there was much less crying and longer naps. For my records, current awake time is only an hour for the first morning nap and somewhere between an 1:15-1:30 for the rest of the day.
Night Sleep- Don't even get me started! We are experiencing the "four month sleep regression," and it hasn't been easy. Currently, I'm waking up about 3-4 times a night to comfort or feed Henry. Here is a link with more info. We will be working on this soon once we get our days straight! Henry's doctor thinks the nightwaking is Henry asking for more calories so we are also starting solids.

Eating- Henry says, "Shhhhh Mommy! I'm trying to eat here, and I want complete silence." Henry has become a very distracted eater so I'm having to feed him in silence and sometimes in a dark room.

Starting solids- We started Henry on rice cereal mixed with applesauce in a jar last night, and he LOVED it. He just kept kicking his little legs in delight. It was soooo fun! But a little sad for me because from now on I won't be his only source of food.

Summary: I can already tell that this is a great age! We are starting to get into a routine which is nice. I'm really enjoying motherhood, and I'm starting to feel a little more settled into my new role. Henry is adorable, and he needs to stop growing up so fast!

P.S. Y'all were right about Shout--it is the best at getting out poop stains! I have the best readers! And feel free to give me some advice on this nightwaking!

Baby It's Cold Outside

2009-12-05T16:26:00.000-08:00

It snowed here in Mississippi last night! When it snows in Mississippi, it is a HUGE deal. Everyone stops what they are doing and goes outside to watch the snow. Shaun and I were actually out on a date (thanks to our friends Jessica and Jay for keeping Henry) when the snow started coming down and everyone was freaking out at the restaurant (including us!). Here is a pic of us enjoying the snow before getting some coffee (not the best picture of us but still it was SNOWING!). We love the song "Baby It's Cold Outside," and we have memorized all of the words because we are dorks so we sang the song while driving around with the snow...so much fun!

And the best part about it is that it stuck (another huge deal) so we got to show Henry his first snow this morning. We love his new hat :)

(yes my husband is hot...he lost 25 lbs of baby weight so far)

What a Difference...

2009-12-05T16:08:00.000-08:00

a year can make! This was me last Thanksgiving...the day we found out we were pregnant! (yes I took that many tests...actually I took more)

Thanksgiving Day 2009

A Year Ago

2009-11-17T10:02:00.000-08:00

On this day a year ago, Shaun and I went to our fertility clinic for our 4th IUI attempt. I can still remember how I felt as we drove through all of the morning traffic to get to the clinic. I was trying so incredibly hard to be relaxed, but I was a mess. We were running late (you can't really rush the important part!) and so many thoughts were running through my head that all I knew to do was to hold on as tight as I could to that plastic cup. After dropping off the sample, we had a nice breakfast together as we always did for our IUIs and then it was time to get back to the clinic.

Here I am on the table waiting for "the guys" to travel looking so hopeful after Shaun prayed for a miracle (one of our many IUI traditions).

We prayed for a miracle, and a miracle did happen that day. God created Henry. And just a year later, I'm sitting here listening to him snooze in his swing. I'm just amazed.

During the two week wait last year I wrote this:

Recently, I’ve been thinking about our happy ending. I know we are going to be parents. God has an amazing plan for our lives, and I have faith that He will give us children. And when that day comes, when we finally hold our baby in our arms, I know we will look back in amazement at how He has provided. If I tried to write my fairy tale story now, it would not even begin to compare to the story my Heavenly Father has written for me.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

It hurt to write those words last year. As hopeful as I sounded, I was drowning in a sea of doubt. I was desperately trying to cling to God's promises but even as I wrote that post I struggled to believe what I was typing. But now I do look back in amazement at the story God has written for us. And it is definitely way better than I ever could have written.

Oh Poop!

2009-11-13T12:59:00.000-08:00

Henry is breastfed exclusively, and we are constantly dealing with blow out mustard (yuck!) diapers. When I hear him start, I immediately grab a receiving blanket to wrap around him to try to avoid getting the poop on me (mostly unsuccessful) and probably 95% of the time some of it gets on his clothes. We have a big celebration at the changing table on the rare occasions that it actually stays in his diaper. Those poop stains are tough to get out of clothes! I immediately rinse the poop off of his clothes in the sink, and I even use my hands to try to get all of the poop off (I know....gross!). Sometimes the oxiclean stain remover spray works...sometimes it doesn't. I just got the powder version that I'm going to try to use immediately after a poop in a bucket of water in the tub. Should I use cold or hot?? Come on girls...I know y'all have some tips. Pass them on!

Also, wanted to add to Henry's 3 month post that Mr. Henry has now found his feet and his hands. I wasn't sure when I wrote the post if he found his hands or not, but I now know for sure he has because he grabs my hair every time I pick him up (I LOVE this), and he uses his hands a lot during nursing now. A couple days ago, he found his feet. Now whenever I help him sit on my lap, he looks down at his feet with a confused look on his face and grabs his feet. He also is rubbing his feet together. Last night, I was brushing my teeth, and Shaun was holding Henry, and I could hear Shaun trying to tell me something, but I had no idea what he was saying because the water was running. When I came to see what all the fuss was about, Shaun was so excited because Henry was playing with his feet for "forever." So cute!

It seems that all of these recent discoveries have made Henry less interested in eating. He would much rather kick, talk, look around. It kinda makes me nervous because he is eating so quickly that I can hardly believe he is getting enough. And he is spitting up SO much more. I had my daily call to his nurse yesterday, but their suggestion was pumping with rice cereal. And I don't want to do that! I keep trying to put him to the boob, and he will eat for a little, but then he pulls off and talks. I had him weighed yesterday, and he gained 10 ounces in 2 weeks, which they said was just fine for three months. Any advice on this as well??!

3 Months!

2009-11-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try not to say this at the beginning of every Henry update, but time is flying! I can't believe my sweet boy is already 3 months old! My love grows deeper and deeper for him every day. I thought I already loved him as much as possible when he was placed on my chest three months ago. But right now as I type this post, he is snuggled up next to me snoring, and it is hard to put in words how much I love him. Henry is already such a little boy! He woke up on Saturday morning (which was officially three months), and he discovered somehow in his dreams the night before that he could make really loud noises. I brought him into bed with us, and he started out just talking and then all of a sudden...he started making squeals and loud noises and was obviously entertained by himself. Shaun and I kept looking at each other and cracking up. It was such a special moment for me. While we were going through treatments, I would sometimes daydream about Shaun and me cuddling and talking to our baby in our bed on a Saturday morning. And there we were...enjoying our Mr. Adorable, and it was even better than I dreamed.

Some fun facts about Henry at 3 Months:

Henry LOVES to watch me brush my teeth. I discovered this one day when I got out of the shower, and he was crying. I was in a hurry to get ready so I started to brush my teeth and ran across the house to check on Henry. He immediately went from crying to smiling. I thought it was just a coincidence, but it has worked without fail numerous times. It cracks him up! I'm not sure if it is the fact that Mommy has white foam coming out of her mouth or the sound or movement, but he loves it.
Henry is a very happy baby. After he eats, we always have awake time, and he is all smiles. As I've mentioned before he has several different smiles, but my favorite is his crooked grin. And those dimples!!
About an hour and fifteen minutes into awake time (almost to the second)--he is done, and it is time for a nap! But Mr. Henry doesn't like naps, and he definitely fights them. I'm sure there will be a post about that soon :)
Henry loves his daddy. They've had some great bonding time over the last two weeks, and I love watching them together. When I got home from a baby shower this weekend, Henry was propped up in a boppy pillow sitting on the couch with his hand on Shaun looking at the computer with him. Henry looked so old...it was hilarious! Shaun has also started giving Henry airplane rides all of the time, and Henry loves it! I need to get a video of that soon.
Kick, kick, kick! Henry enjoys kicking so much. He kicks every chance he gets!

Healthy! (knock on wood)

2009-11-01T08:52:00.000-08:00

We took Henry to the dr on Friday since he develped a fever after I had the flu. I did not like this doctor at all (our usual ped was off on Friday). I felt like I had to pull information out of her, and she didn't seem to know what she was doing. Henry's swine flu test came back negative, but she said we could give him tamiflu, but she wasn't sure what to do. Apparently they have authorized some emergency dosages of tamiflu for babies as young as 3 months. I did not feel comfortable at all giving him tamiflu because from what I have read they typically don't give it to babies younger than a year old. I just felt like she wasn't researched or confident at all. We absolutely adore our ped so maybe I was just comparing her to him. The good news is though that Henry's fever was gone yesterday, and he seems to be doing great! Thank you for all of your prayers of protection over our sweet little guy. I was going to be a disaster if he had it because I know how bad I felt.

Henry is such a little character already. We just got out this baby einstein play tunnel out for him (got it as a baby present), and he adores it! He kicks so hard and just looks around at all of the toys and pictures. Shaun calls it his "man cave" lol. He loves his daddy and especially enjoys when his dad plays the guitar for him. Henry has several different smiles, but my favorite is when he smiles and turns his head like he is being shy. It is precious!! We have enjoyed being stuck at the house all together for five days. We really needed this down time. I hope to post some new pics and video soon so stay tuned!

Henry might have it too...

2009-10-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

waiting for a call back from the dr. He has a fever, and he is fussy. Will update when I can...I've been praying so hard that this wouldn't happen.

This post is brought to you by the swine flu

2009-10-29T21:22:00.000-07:00

Finally have time to blog...just wish it was under better circumstances. I'm starting to feel better today as this is day 3 in bed with the swine flu. Yesterday was the worst as I couldn't keep anything down. I will spare y'all the details, but just take my word for it and get the shot. Shaun has been absolutely wonderful. He went in to work yesterday morning, but I think he could tell that I wasn't going to make it without him so he came home at lunch to take care of Henry, and he is working from home today as well. Henry is happy and doesn't have a fever so we are just praying he doesn't get it. I'm still breastfeeding to make sure he gets my antibodies, but we did have to supplement with a little formula last night since I wasn't making enough milk because I was completely dehydrated from hugging the toilet. I was really anxious about giving him formula, but he seemed to tolerate it well. And he slept through the night! I don't think he has done that since I last blogged (note to self: might need to stop blogging when he sleeps through the night). He usually has a quick 4 AM feeding.

The last thing I want this blog to turn into is all of the happy with no honesty about what is really going on in our lives. It was much easier to write my true feelings during infertility...call it survivor guilt or whatever you would like, but it is much harder for me to be "real" now. So here is my first attempt at telling it like it is...

The first seven weeks of Henry's life were incredibly hard. I know that some of my friends and family might have thought I had postpartum depression, but I was really just sleep deprived. There were nights that I only got ten to fifteen minutes of sleep at a time. I did it by myself because I didn't want Shaun to lose sleep and then have to work a long day at the office. Those few weeks were some of the hardest in my life. And I felt incredibly guilty for feeling that way. I had my precious little healthy miracle, but I was a complete disaster. If I had to give anyone with a new baby advice it would be this...throw everything you just read during your pregnancy out the window for the first eight weeks! If the only way you can get sleep or a nap is to hold them...then do it. If the baby needs a car ride to calm down or fall asleep...take one. If anyone offers to come hold your baby while you nap...go ahead and schedule a time that works for them. Just do what works because they are too young to know the difference. This is what my friends tried to tell me, but I didn't listen. I thought I would cause sleep problems. But around 8 weeks (from my experience and what I've heard from others) no matter what you do, it gets better. Of course we had trush and reflux so that was part of the reason it was so bad, but he really started sleeping so much better.

My other confession is that this has been a hard time in our marriage. I never knew it would be so difficult. We've always been such a great team that I really didn't anticipate having much of a transition. Part of what was/is making it so hard is Shaun's work schedule. For the past four weeks, he has been working long nights and weekends on a huge, stressful project (tons and tons of overtime). When he would finally get home from work, I was ready to hand Henry off to him for diaper changes and holding, and he was so tired that he really couldn't deal with a crying baby. I guess I felt like I was working all day/night too and that I deserved a little break. Looking back now, I realize that I was being way too hard on Shaun. We were both just exhausted, and it didn't help to come home to a winey wife. When we finally had time together, we just weren't in sync. He didn't know what Henry needed or what I needed for him because he hadn't been around. With all of that said, the past two days have been great. Shaun has gotten to catch up on some much needed father/son bonding time while being an incredible caregiver to me. It almost makes me a little thankful for the flu :) (okay not really), but I think it has helped get us back on the same wavelength.

What a Big Boy!

2009-10-13T17:10:00.000-07:00

Last night at 10:30, I put down a wide awake little Henry in his crib. We said our prayers, and he smiled at me like he was ready to play. I turned on his mobile without sound...kissed his forehead and walked out of his room. I woke up around 3 surprised that he dropped the 1 AM feeding for the third night in a row and watched the monitor for a few seconds to watch his belly move up and down. Next thing I knew...it was 6:30! I quickly looked at the monitor to see Henry still sleeping and sucking his thumb. My boobs were killing! They were hard as rocks! I even made Shaun put his hand on them to feel them lol. So I got up and pumped so it wouldn't be too hard for Henry to nurse. Henry woke up at 6:45!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a big boy! I was one proud Mama, and I was happy, happy, happy to get Henry out of his crib. I just made the biggest fuss over him, and he was kinda like..."okay mom...enough already...all I want to do is eat...what is the big deal?!" I realize that it will probably be some time before this happens every night, but I'm so encouraged! So for those sleep deprived moms that will arrive to this post via google in the future...here is what I think is helping his sleep.
1. Reflux is better now with meds...Just got treated for thrush...and elimination of dairy from my diet. He seems to just be feeling better overall!
2. Cluster feedings in the evening- he wants to eat often, and I let him! He stays on me most of the evening (or at least it feels like it!)
3. Bedtime routine- bath and changing clothes plus putting him in his sleep sack
4. Thumb sucking!!- just in the last week or so, he has started really sucking his thumb to self-soothe. This is huge!
5. Pumped bottle- Shaun also gave him a bottle of pumped milk...I feel like my supply can't keep up with his need in the evenings!
6. Babywise daytime routine- eating approx every 3 hours and a eat, wake, sleep routine. I've also started a morning routine...we start the day around 7, and I pull back all of the curtains/turn on a bunch of lights and sing the Good morning song and lots of talking!
7. Henry's age and weight- 9 weeks and 12 lbs 6 ounces or so

In other Henry news not related to sleep... just in the last week or so, Henry has really started to smile a bunch (love it!). It is getting easy to make him smile now. And he loves to talk and make eye contact. We have really deep conversations. I'm really loving being his mommy. For those of you still waiting...I promise it is worth it.

New post on prayingforalittleone!

Two Months Old!

2009-10-06T15:36:00.000-07:00

I was on facebook yesterday looking at pictures of Henry as a newborn, and I can't believe how much he has changed. He is a big boy! Okay he really isn't that big still, but he doesn't look like a tiny little newborn baby anymore. I can't believe how fast he is growing before my eyes. I have only been away from him for like 30 minutes one time about a month ago so it is hard to notice the changes as much until I look back at pictures. Henry's new hair is already growing fast in the front so I know it won't be long until he has a head full of hair again. His eyelashes are super long (yay! I'm hoping this means he has his dad's adorable eyelashes), and I'm starting to feel extra fat in his chest and thighs :). We have our 8 week checkup tomorrow so I can't wait to see how much he weighs. Henry is starting to show us more of his sweet little personality. This morning at a 6 AM feeding I was exhausted from a long night, Henry was just eating away when all of a sudden he pulled off looked up at me and smiled. And the smiles continued along with precious baby talk. Oh it just melted my heart! It was as if he just wanted to tell me how happy he was to be eating and that it was morning time. Just that one minute of sweetness made any screaming the night before completely worth it.

As I mentioned above, tomorrow is our 8 week checkup, and I hope our doctor is ready for a million questions! We haven't seen him in over six weeks, and I have a lot to ask about with Henry's reflux and sleep problems. Before I list all of the things I'm going to ask about (using my blog to think this through!), I want to thank all of the mothers who have left encouragement about reflux, thrush, and sleep problems....it really means a lot and all of your thoughts have been very helpful!

Okay my list...feel free to comment with suggestions!

Reflux:
--Saw improvement with Axid, but still not sure that it is much better. Henry is still waking frequently in between feedings, and he is sometimes wet from spitup when I go to comfort him.

Spit-up is thick like it has been in the stomach, goes through nose sometimes (poor little man), projectile several times (completely freaked me out--pretty sure he lost close to his entire meal)

Worst time of day is from 8:30 to 10:30 PM not sure if this is reflux related or just typical newborn fussiness.

Sleep:
Still waking frequently between feedings…again sometimes wet from spitting up…but calms down immediately if I pick him up. Also tried paci and patting without picking him up. He will calm down easily either way, but he is awake again crying usually within a few minutes.

Going down for sleep- seems to really fight going down at night. Doesn’t matter if we put him to bed still awake, dreaming or a deep sleep…usually wakes up within minutes of laying him down on back in crib. And he is not a happy camper!
Any suggestions??!!

Still feeding about every 2-3 hours at night, but doesn't seem to be eating much before he falls asleep. Comfort nursing? He can't be getting very much!

Stool:
Foamy Stool—do we need to be concerned about it? What causes it?
Stool on average three times a day—is this too much? (typically explosive)

Milk Protein Allergy:
Is there a way to test for this?
In the meantime...I've eliminated dairy (for the most part) from my diet

Thrush:
Currently being treated for thrush from our breastfeeding doctor. I'm on difflucan daily for two weeks, and Henry is getting his tounge scrubbed with a qtip after every feeding with nystatin (he likes this by the way--super cute)

Extra info for y'all-- We are on a baby wise routine with feedings every 2 hrs and 30-45 minutes. Feedings last about 30 to 40 minutes. First feeding of the day around 7 AM, and I try to put him in bed at 7 PM for night but he fights it the entire time. Shaun and I take turns going in to calm him down for that feeding and then I'm on my own for the rest of the night!

How about a pic of mr. henry?

The Postpartum Appt of Two Infertiles

2009-10-01T22:07:00.000-07:00

Also posted on prayingforalittleone

At my postpartum visit this week another new mom in the waiting room saw that I just had Henry and decided to strike up a conversation with me. We talked about feeding and sleeping schedules and all of the typical newborn mom small talk, but as we were talking I couldn't help but notice another woman sitting close by and her body language as she listened to our conversation. I cringed as the new mom talked about how "weird it was to be at the clinic without being pregnant" and many other comments that I knew would have hurt me if I had overheard them a year ago when I was at the gyn for my annual in the middle of fertility treatments. The woman nearby was flipping through a magazine and cringing every time I was cringing. I tried to tell myself that I was just imagining things, but when I saw her obviously make a face when the lab tech said, "see you next year." I knew she was struggling with infertility. I decided that if anyone said anything about Henry while I was waiting for bloodwork that I would say something so that she could be encouraged or she could talk to me if she wanted. The lab tech that I had for what felt like a million appointments during the pregnancy started ooing and aahing over Henry so I took the opportunity to say, "he really is a miracle." She started talking about how all babies are miracles once you learn what can go wrong and then I replied that every baby is for sure a miracle once you realize all that has to happen. Immediately my infertile friend spoke up (took the bait!)..."did you have to do fertility treatments to get pregnant?" I couldn't believe I was actually right about her! But it turns out I was only partially right. She did previously struggle with infertility, but she was there for a postpartum appointment. She had to do IVF to get pregnant with her first, but then had two surprise pregnancies so she has her hands full now with three under three! After she made sure to tell me to be careful (that advice went in one ear and out the other-no birth control for us!), we discussed infertility treatments like we were old friends. I know infertility is common and that I could have just made a lucky guess, but there was something about her body language. She heard things the way I heard them. She was sitting there with three babies at home, but infertility changed her just like it changed me. We can't sit there and hear "see you next year" and not think about the poor girl that is there for her yearly and praying that it is not another year before she makes it back to the clinic again. Our prayers were answered...we have our miracles, but going through infertility will forever change us.

Already Seven Weeks??!!

2009-09-24T21:10:00.000-07:00

I've been planning all week to write a post called "Already Six Weeks??!!," and now that I have time to actually sit down and write...my little love bug is seven weeks!! I have a lot to catch all of you up on so I will start with the fun stuff and then I will give an update on everything else.
Henry has really started to smile, and it is just precious. Oh it just makes my day! I can't wait to get a picture of him smiling because it is soooo cute. I realize that I'm partial, but it is a really big somewhat elvis smile with dimples...I mean how could it be any cuter? He is also getting to be such a big boy...11 lbs 4 ounces at our doctor appointment today (more about that below). My mom helped me realize this past week that it was time to move on from the newborn clothes. Once again...I was in denial...she pointed out to me that his sleeves were now three quarter length, his hand hardly fit through the hole, and I was having to pull on his onesies to even get the snaps closed. We have now moved up to 0-3 months, and I don't think we are even going to get to wear them for very long since I squeezed him into newborns for so long. Henry has also lost almost all of his hair on the top of his head. I was giving him a comb over for as long as I could, but now there is nothing left to comb. I can already see where the new hair is coming in so I know it won't be long until I can comb his hair again, but I miss not being able to give him a little boy hairstyle. One of things I love to do is to lay him on my belly for tummy time and watch him lift his head to look at me. He started out being such a mr. bobblehead doll, but now he is getting to where he can hold his head up and remain pretty still for a few moments.

Now for the update...I'm going to be honest...it has been a rough couple of weeks. Henry's reflux was bothering him so badly that he wasn't even sleeping very much at night. I finally came to my breaking point about a week ago. After some major crying, I broke down and called my mom and asked her if she wanted to come to Mississippi or if she wanted me to come to Alabama. We decided that it would be best for me to come to my mom and dad's house (aka henry's mimi and pops). My house is so small that if Henry was crying, I would still be wide awake listening to him cry even if my mom was taking care of him in the other room. I packed us both up in less than an hour and hit the road! Shaun was okay with us leaving because he knew I needed some sleep, and he couldn't give me the help I needed since he has to work. I was so sleep deprived by the time I got to my parents house that I could hardly talk. I would start to say something, but I couldn't finish a thought...my brain was NOT working. Mom and Dad later told me that we both looked pretty rough. I hate to hear that Henry was looking ill, but I know he wasn't doing well since he wasn't sleeping. Zantac did not work for us so my nurse called in Axid, and we started Henry on his first dosage the first night at my parents. We also started putting Henry to sleep on his side (I'm sorry but he wasn't sleeping on his back so what am I supposed to do??) on am inclined sleep positioner. And I stopped eating and drinking dairy...I had a milk allergy when I was little so it is likely that Henry has one. Mom slept next to him and came to get me when it was time to feed. It was absolutely wonderful to finally get some sleep. Mom also fixed and brought to me all of my meals and drinks...it was fabulous. Pops was also a great help with Henry and could get him to fall asleep on his chest. We affectionately called him the baby whisperer. By the end of the week, we all saw a major improvement in Henry. I think the medicine is definitely helping, and hopefully the not eating/drinking dairy is too (way harder than I thought it would be). We are definitely not there yet, but the fact that Henry is sleeping in between some feedings at night is a major improvement. We are all praying for him, and we know that God is answering our prayers and giving us wisdom and good ideas to help Henry to feel better. One of those ideas came from a fellow blogger (sorry I don't have time to look back to see who it was) who mentioned thrush as a possibility. I looked up the symptoms, and it sounded like we had that too! The main symptoms we have is a painful letdown, Henry pulling off the boob during feedings, and he has a white patch on the center of his tongue (it was always there, but I thought it was milk--whoops!). We went to our breastfeeding doctor today, and she was able to take a look at my nipples and Henry's white patch to confirm that we do have thrush. For those of you who don't know thrush is a yeast infection that is passed back and forth between the mother and baby during breastfeeding. Poor Henry has an itchy tongue on top of everything else, and the yeast could be causing him to have an upset tummy (which would explain the foamy poop). He is not going to know what to do with himself when he is no longer in pain from reflux, a dairy allergy and thrush! We will both be treated together for meds the next two weeks and hopefully our yeast problem will go away soon!!

I can't post on September 24th without taking a moment to remember what happened on this day two years ago. Two years ago I was told on an ultrasound table that my sweet baby no longer had a heartbeat. I can still remember the face on the ultrasound tech, the exact layout of the room...pretty much everything about that day. Shaun met me at the house with bbq takeout, tons of snacks (I think he was afraid I wasn't going to eat) and pads (he knew I was bleeding heavily). We cried for a long time. One of the snacks Shaun happened to buy at the store was cashews. He offered some to me, and I started to cry again..."they look like a little baby fetus." I looked up at him, and we both started to laugh hysterically. I still can't look at a cashew without smiling. I think we went right back to crying again after our laughing, but it was a good break from all of the sadness of the day. September 25th (which is now today considering it is 1 AM) is actually the day that I consider the anniversary of my loss because it was the day of my D&C surgery. It is very hard to explain this feeling unless you have experienced it, but I didn't really feel like she was gone until I woke up from surgery realizing she was no longer inside of me. Two years later as I'm holding my sweet baby boy on my chest, the hurt is still there. It doesn't sting the same, but it is still there. I no longer get a lump in my throat when I see the two little girls that I know that were born around her due date, but I do feel a little sadness. Baby Faith was a miracle from God, and I consider myself blessed to be able to carry her even if it was for such a short time.

No Longer in Denial...

2009-09-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the anonymous commenter who mentioned silent reflux. I was just convinced that Henry didn't have reflux because he wasn't spitting up that much (although he has started spitting up more). I was in denial because I really was hoping it was just a small sleep problem and not a medical problem. I finally decided to google the symptoms of reflux in babies in the middle of the night Friday night when Henry hadn't slept from 9 PM to 3 AM. Yes...you read that correctly...9 to 3! Henry has so many of the symptoms including a cough (thought that was normal for newborns like sneezing...whoops!), very frequent hiccups (also thought that was normal), throwing his head back after feedings (I thought he was just working on his neck strength), frequent waking/can't sleep on back. I feel bad that I didn't figure out sooner what was wrong with him. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it because I had nothing to compare him to...I knew the newborn stage was hard so I figured it was okay. I finally woke Shaun up at 3 AM because I literally couldn't stay awake any longer. Shaun knew I really needed help because it is the first time I've woken him since the first week of Henry's life. I'm so glad it was a Friday night so he could lose sleep without having to go to work in the morning. I called our pediatrician's office on sat morning and spoke with a nurse(they have Saturday hours), and she was confident with the symptoms that I described that Henry has reflux. They prescribed Zantac for him, and I'm just praying that this helps him to feel better. I know there is another stronger medicine that we can try if this one doesn't work. I just hate that he is hurting...it is so sad. He is such a cute, sweet little guy. Shaun and I are both miserable watching him in so much pain. So what is the plan for this week? Survival. I'm just going to do everything I can to make him feel as good as possible and not worry about anything else. He loves the infant carrier (makes sense why he loves it so much now) so I will just carry him around all day if I have to! He also does okay in his bouncy seat so he might sleep in that tonight next to me on the couch. I did start pumping a little on Saturday so that Shaun or someone else can give him a bottle if I need a break. Please pray that Henry starts to feel better soon! I really appreciate all of the very helpful encouragement and advice/ideas the other day. I plan on using a lot of the advice once we get over this little hump! Y'all are the best!

Need Advice!

2009-09-10T11:33:00.000-07:00

I have several posts that I need to write including our ten year dating anniversary (yesterday), our first trip, and a funny poop story, but today those will have to go on the back burner because I need advice. Here is our current "schedule/routine"...it is not working, and I need some advice on how to fix it...any and all suggestions are welcome!
Our "morning" starts at around noon (as both of us finally sleep during the morning hours)- we do the eat, wake, sleep cycle every 2 1/2 hours (which is fine with me). Breastfeeding is going pretty well, but Henry does like to take cat naps during feeding, which makes it hard to wake him up to give him a full feeding (it takes effort, but I'm usually successful with a full feeding). He hates being on his back alone so I just lay him on the couch next to me until he wakes up for more. After his diaper change, Henry is awake and ready to party. He is very alert during his activity time, and he stays awake a lot longer than what the books say for his age
(around 45 mins after his feeding). I put him down as soon as he shows signs of being sleepy. Activities during the awake time--tummy time once a day, bouncy seat, bath, a walk outside). I've tried to put him down sooner wondering if he was overstimulated, but he just looks around his bassinet and coos and then as soon as it is time to sleep--the screaming starts. I will go in and comfort him several times and give him his paci, but he still stays awake and screams. Henry will nap great in my arms, his bouncy seat (sometimes), his carseat (if it is moving--like walking around the neighborhood or riding in the car), and an infant carrier (but I have to walk around the house the entire time- no sitting :). This pattern continues until the first "night" feeding at midnight.
After the midnight feeding- mom wants to go to bed! I want him on his back, alone, in his crib where he is safe. Henry looks like someone just gave him a shot of espresso at this feeding. (By the way I don't drink any caffeine at all so that isn't an issue). He stays wide awake like "you are not going to get me to sleep Mom!" And I don't! I go in a calm him down many times, and calms right down, but usually by the time I get to bed and maybe fall asleep...he is screaming again. This continues until it has been 2 1/2 hours, and I decide to go feed him again (around 2:30). Sometimes (on great nights) he is so tired at this feeding that he goes into a deep sleep, and we are both able to sleep for 2 hours. On a usual night, he acts like he is never eaten before and becomes a wild man-- extremely aggressive and clumsy, and he takes both of his hands and grabs my skin the entire time. It is during a feeding like this that I can definitely understand why women have trouble breastfeeding. Again, he is wide awake (too tired to calm himself down)--I've tried at this point to rock him into a deep sleep (doesn't really happen) or laying him down hoping he will fall asleep (doesn't happen). This trying to get him to sleep thing goes on for usually another hour. Last night, he didn't sleep at all so around 4 AM I got up and fed him on the couch, and we both finally fell asleep in a very uncomfortable position. Honestly, this is when we both start getting sleep. I'm not saying it is right...it is just all I can do at that point. Last night, we slept for about an 1 1/2 until he was ready to eat again. It is usually around 7 AMish that I give up! I lay him down next to me on the couch, and we sleep for several hours. Sometimes we will have a quick feeding in between but we usually sleep until noon. Today I fed him at 8ish, and he stayed awake forever but eventually fell asleep for 3hours. So this is our routine and obviously it isn't working. I know what a good routine should look like, but I don't know how to make it happen. I don't want to let him cry it out...he is too young (five weeks on friday). He is swaddled tightly at night, and he has a clean diaper before I put him down. I don't think it is reflux because he doesn't spit up that much, and he doesn't arch his back or scream right after a feeding. Okay so help??!!!!!!

Must-Haves for the New Mom

2009-08-31T21:51:00.000-07:00

With so many of my friends in real life and in the blogosphere approaching the due date of their sweet little ones, I thought now would be a good time to share a few of the products that have made my life a little easier the past few weeks. I'm by no means an expert with only a couple weeks under my belt as a mother, but here is what has helped me so far!

What Time is It?
Topping the list...is this little gadget device that I actually laughed at Shaun (he loves all gadgets) when he showed it to me in the baby store. I thought it was a perfect example of the many baby products that are made just to take advantage of new parents who don't have a clue. Well boy was I wrong! After we got home from the hospital, and I kept asking Shaun "baby what time is it?," and my sleep deprived brain could no longer calculate 1 o'clock plus 3 hours is...???...Shaun decided to go back to the baby store and purchase the gadget. And I'm so glad he did!

The itzbeen is basically a small timer that is perfect for a new mom without a brain. As soon as I start to feed I simply click the feed button, and it lets me know how long "itzbeen" since I started feeding. There are also three other buttons that you can use to time things like sleep or diaper changes. I like to use one of the buttons to time the other side during breastfeeding. In the middle of the night when I hear Henry cry, I press the button that lights up the digital display and in a second I know if it is time to eat or if he is crying for another reason. I get out of bed and press the top button which is a little flashlight (they thought of everything!) to see my way out of the bedroom. It also has a little switch at the bottom so you know which side you last fed on for breastfeeding.

Watch Out for Flying Arms!
The Luna Lullaby Swaddle Blankets- These incredibly soft and breathable muslin cotton swaddle blankets are the perfect swaddling blankets. We use Dr. Harvey Karp's swaddling technique and Henry looks like a little burrito when we are done!

Is He Breathing??!!
This is especially a must-have for any mom who has struggled with infertility. Let's face it...every new mom worries, but the parenting after infertility club worries more (The Baby Whisperer has an entire chapter devoted to this- see below). It is so comforting to be able to roll over and punch a large top button (much like a snooze button) to watch that big belly move up and down. The video monitor we have is the Summer Infant Best View Color Handheld Video Monitor, and it is well worth the expense (Ta.rget has it cheaper than B.r.us by the way).

What I love about this monitor compared to other video monitors:
1. I don't see my neighbors' babies! I've had several friends see the neighbors with their analog video monitors. This one is digital so only our portable handset can see our camera.
2. Pan, Zoom, and Tilt--I'm sure this will be extra fun when I'm spying on him as a toddler. Also...color during the day.
3. Clear reception
4. Bonus for baby #2- we can add an additional camera and flip between them on our monitor.

Who Said Breastfed Babies Poop Doesn't Stink??!!
We did not like Diaper Genie II- didn't like having to buy refills and most importantly did not enjoy having to stick my hand in to deposit the diaper. Thanks to Janet, twin mommy at Our Journey for a Baby for her favorite things post with the recommendation of the Diaper Champ.

(we got ours in blue of course!)
It is soooo much better! You can use any bag (used a b r us bag the first time but will buy 13 gallon bags for it). It keeps out the smell, and the best part about it is you just place the diaper in this little compartment and pull the handle down and it deposits the diaper for you!

Where's the Instruction Manual??!!

A couple books that have definitely helped me with the first few weeks.

Baby 411- about as close as you can get to an instruction manual. It is easy to look up questions, and the answers are very informative.

Baby Wise- I know this book is very controversial, but it gets a bad wrap because of moms that take it to the extreme and don't actually follow the advice of the book. Don't leave a comment telling me how awful Baby Wise is unless you have actually read the book in its entirety and witnessed a Baby Wise toddler go down for a nap. It is all about setting up a routine for your baby- eat, wake, sleep- it is NOT a rigid schedule.

Secrets of The Baby Whisperer- Okay this one is my favorite. Same routine as Baby Wise, but the author calls it E.A.S.Y (eat, activity, sleep, you). She teaches you how to actually go about helping your baby get into a routine and many, many tips on calming and connecting with your baby.

You Will Need...

And last but not least some of the necessities!

People always say you don't need newborn clothes--so not true! Henry was 7 lbs 7 ounces, and he was swallowed in the newborn sizes when we got home from the hospital. My favorite is the oh-so-soft and convenient Kissy Kissy newborn gowns. It seems like way too much money for a tiny gown, but trust me you will love them.

Burp Cloths- don't stop buying burp cloths until you think you have too much...you will need them!

Receiving Blankets- again...you can't have enough! We use them to throw down over our changing pad cover because Henry constantly is peeing and pooping when we change him.

Pampers Swaddlers- I like them because they have a notch for the umbilical cord and a stripe that turns green to let you know when they are wet.

Straws and Fiber- It is just easier to drink with a straw when you are breastfeeding (you will be constantly thirsty), and you will need the fiber when you get home for the hospital. Stock up on apples, raisin bran, and the surprisingly delicious Fiber Plus granola bars.

Medela Disposable Nursing Bra Pads- They are very absorbent and comfortable.

Nursing Tanks- It will just make your life easier.

I know I'm forgetting something, but I will just share in another post when I remember (mommy brain!).

Night Shift

2009-08-30T01:47:00.001-07:00

It is almost 4 AM...Henry just finished a nice meal, and he is asleep on my chest. He is completely out, but he needs a diaper change (I can smell it!) so do I wake him or put him down without a change??!! I'm leaning towards just laying him down because I'm sure it won't be long before he is awake again for another feeding. He is really breathing hard right now...kind of a whistle out of his nose...such a sweet sound. I love this little guy! I wish I didn't have to sleep so I could just hold him all night and continue to kiss his soft hair. I'm so blessed. Okay now it is turning into more of a snore. I guess I'm going to try to put him down...

Shhhh....baby is sleeping!

2009-08-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Henry finally went down for a nap this afternoon, and I should really be using this time to take a shower, but hopefully I can manage a post and a shower! We actually had a pretty good night last night. Two of our feedings were pretty close together (more around the 1 1/2 to 2 hr mark), but then he had an over three hour stretch for me. I actually feel pretty rested right now. After his noon feeding today, I decided to put on some music and give Henry a bath. He loved it :). He makes the cutest faces when he is wide awake. I love to wash his hair and comb it into a little boy hairstyle. He lets me do whatever I want to him when he is awake. It is moments like these when he looks up at me with his precious eyes that I can't believe he is mine and that I'm actually a mother. Nothing has ever felt so right in my life. I've had decent jobs that have been partially rewarding, but I finally feel like I'm doing what I have felt called to do for years. Shaun and I haven't really talked about this, but I think now that he sees me as a mom that he has a greater understanding of why infertility was so painful for me.

And now a couple little things I love about Henry at almost 3 weeks...
-When he starts to drift off to sleep he gets a huge grin on his face, and it is so precious. Did I mention he has dimples? And in the last few days...sometimes he even giggles in his sleep! I know this is hard to believe, but I googled it...and it is possible! I will try to get it on video soon...
-The faces he makes when he is trying to latch on--the first two weeks his eyes were always closed, and he would raise his eyebrows just as far as they would go. Now he gets really big excited eyes.
-The noises he makes- all of the adorable grunts and sounds. He also sounds like a pig when he gets really excited about eating when he is latching. I sometimes call him piglet for this reason.
-He is such a great listener- I talk to him all the time when he is awake, and he looks like he is really trying hard to listen. My favorite time for this is the last feeding of the day when I read him a story and rock him.
-His leg strength-- I can't get over how strong he is already! It is almost impossible to put a diaper on him.
-He loves his daddy- They already have such a special relationship. Henry always looks so comfy in his daddy's arms, and he loves his voice. I need to write an entire post about this.

There is so much more, but I will have to leave it at those few for now because I really should go get that shower!

A few of my favorite photos...from the hospital

2009-08-23T17:20:00.001-07:00

He Shoots....He Scores!

2009-08-23T16:47:00.000-07:00

I always heard that being a new parent was messy, but I had no idea just how messy things could really get! Like the day my milk came in...holy cow (literally), milk was going everywhere, and Henry and I were covered from head to toe! Or that first meconium diaper...it was like tar! The creole mustard seed breastfeeding diapers (might pass on the mustard next time I have a n.ewks chicken salad sandwich), somehow I manage to get that poop on my hand all of the time! And with a little boy...you must be ready at any second for a big spray. Last Tuesday, we got home from my first outing with Henry (breastfeeding consultation), and thanks to the green stripe on his pamper swaddlers...I knew he needed a diaper change. I was curious if it was just a pee diaper or if I needed to take his socks off to get down and dirty so I decided to take the tiniest little peak. Just as soon as I opened his diaper, a big stream of pee went flying up in the air and landed perfectly in between the opening of my v-neck shirt and subsequently all down my chest. Our boy has perfect aim! Guess we won't be needing those cheerios in the toilet when it is potty training time!

A New Blog!

2009-08-23T15:52:00.000-07:00

When I started Praying for a Little One in May 2008, I was in a very bad place in my life. The unfulfilled due date of Baby Faith had just passed, and I got a false positive pregnancy test on a clomid cycle that month. I found myself needing to write down my feelings to sort things out, but I didn't expect anyone to read along. I didn't anticipate how therapeutic blogging would be for me or the incredible amount of support and encouragement I would receive from the amazing community of infertility bloggers around the world. It is such a blessing to be able to look back now at the archives of Praying for a Little One and see what God has done in just a year. As I enter my third week of motherhood, I find myself wanting to blog about the little adventures and sweet moments of our little guy. I'm keeping Praying for a Little One active as an infertility blog and will continue to post thoughts and encouragement about infertility so I've decided to create a separate parenting after infertility blog. So much to say...so little time! It has definitely been the most life changing, challenging, and joyful three weeks of my life. Come laugh with us as we figure out how to be parents to our little miracle!