What made you want to be a doula? Part One.

A common question that I'm getting right now as more of my friends are hearing that I'm training to become a doula (along with "what is a doula?"..dona.org has great info on that but I will address in another post) is "what made you want to be a doula?"  I really feel like in order to answer this question that I need to start back to why I desired a natural childbirth with Henry and what I've learned about my body since labor/delivery/breastfeeding.  So this is just part one :).

Growing up, my mother always spoke of her labor and deliveries so positively that she made me see labor and delivery as something to look forward to in the future.  I loved hearing her birth stories growing up (all four of them!) and how she described labor as "Christmas morning" for her.  I've always been proud of my mom for many reasons but lately I've come to an even greater appreciation of how she was willing to be different.  For example, my dad was the second dad to ever be allowed in the delivery room in our small town (because they asked!!) and my mom's labor and delivery nurse asked if she could watch my mom's first latch with breastfeeding because she "never saw that before."  I guess we have come a long way in some aspects of the l&d process since the 1970s :).  My mom's descriptions of her labor and contractions made me realize that this "pain" was different.  Labor "pain" is different than any other pain that we experience in our life because it is pain that actually means that something good is happening.  She explained to me often the importance of relaxing during a contraction as becoming tense made it so much worse.  I kept this advice in mind when I wanted to curl up in a ball with horrible menstrual cramps (thanks to endometriosis).  One of my favorite parts of my mom's first birth story with my brother Ethan is how she tells about how the first l&d nurse that saw her (checked her) told her that she wasn't in labor and how my mom knew that wasn't true.  I love how my mom believed her own body at such a young age when someone older and experienced was telling her differently.  I wish I could say that I had the same strength when it was my turn.  After experiencing a miscarriage and infertility, I felt that my body was broken and was extremely fearful that my body would not know what to do when it came to labor and delivery and breastfeeding.  I can remember answering people's questions about if I planned to breastfeed with "I definitely want to breastfeed if I can" as if my body literally wouldn't produce the milk (which by the way only happens in a very, very small percentage of women).  It would be like me saying that I definitely want to get some ice cream if I don't get struck by lightning on the way.  I will never forget a comment left on my blog by my friend from high school Elizabeth who is training to be a midwife (yay!) when I was in tears (okay sobs!) over another fingertip dilated vaginal check (which I now know was completely unnecessary...please read this article if you are preg) and the possibility of csection/induction.  She gave me the famous quote by Ina May Gaskin..."your body is not a lemon."  Oh how I wish I would have listened to the truth behind that quote.  I wouldn't have had an elective induction at 39 weeks.  I was so terrified of my body not acting correctly or the baby being "too big" that I would "need" a csection that I didn't listen to my gut or my friend.  For years, I dreamed of what labor and delivery would be like...making the phone call to shaun to come home from work because I was in labor...resting and breathing deeply in the arms of my hubby during labor...feeling every contraction and knowing we were one step closer to finally meeting our baby.  I didn't want to be propped up in a bed while everyone came to visit like it was a party completely unaware that a miracle was taking place.  Some women desire that type of labor and delivery and that is their choice (one of the reasons for the high csection rate), but it wasn't for me. 
Even though my birth story with Henry has some regrets, it was still the best day of our lives as we met our sweet Henry.  The time that we spent in labor were some of the most bonding moments in our marriage.  We just needed someone to help us along.  Someone who could have assured me that my body works and that I wouldn't carry Henry around for 11 months and to talk to my doctor about my options.  Someone who could have told me that I was in transition and that ten cm was right around the corner.  Someone who could have make sure that the music playing that was helping me so much would stay on (it kept turning off and shaun didn't have time to fix it in between contractions!) or done something with the alarm that kept going off.  Someone who could have gotten my nurse when I needed to go to the bathroom or to remind me that I needed to go (always hurt worse with a full bladder!).  Someone who could have given my poor hubby a break who rubbed me without time for food or drink for hours and hours (he told me later that this is part of the reason why he didn't try to encourage me to rethink the epi when I asked for it...oh and he had a pulled muscle in his back that hurt so bad the entire day and didn't say a word about it...wow.). 

I want to be that someone for couples in our area who are desiring natural childbirth.  I can't imagine what a joy it is going to be for me to guide my first couple through their labor and delivery and first latch.  And that is just one of the reasons why I want to be a doula :).          

14 Month Update (very late!!)

Before my sweet little boy turns fifteen months (what??!!), I wanted to take a moment to write down a few things that I don't want to forget from 14 months. I know I can write some long updates, but I'm going to try to keep this one as just a little summary :). October is getting away from me so fast (I keep writing this post and saving because I never have time to finish it so now it is like 3 days away from November…wow.). If you aren't a follower, you might want to also check prayingforalittleone as I'm posting a little more over there these days too.


Size: no weight or height update...still wearing 12-18 mo

Baby Signs: No new signs this month because mr. henry is moving on to words! He definitely still uses some of his favorite signs, but I haven't been teaching him any new ones. His favorite signs: keys (he made up the sign for this!! it looks like he is turning the key...so cute!!), airplane, bird, bath, more, please, book.

Words: Henry has really started talking this month, and it has been sooooo much fun. I love to hear his sweet voice....oh it just melts my heart!! I'm going to be annoying and list all of his new words but as I've said before this blog is my baby book so I use it for my record :). And yes, I had to start writing them down this month on a notepad on our kitchen counter.

baby, cheese, hot (one of his favs) choo choo (his favorite word), shoes, bus, truck, yay, ball, poopoo, spoon, book, grape, juice, yuck, chip, night night, go, balloon, gatti, teeth, belly button, keys (calls them da now he was saying keys), hello, three, bread, stuck (another fav), bubbles.


Book- Favorite book this month is any "choochoo" book...the boy is in LOVE with trains. It is so cute :).

Breastfeeding- Still going strong...not weaning yet because I don't want to, and I can tell Henry doesn’t either. He does seem to be able to tolerate goat's milk so I'm very happy that we have something to wean to now when we decide to someday.

Sleep--no comment. lol just kidding...but seriously sleep and henry just don't belong together in the same sentence :). I'm sure that good long afternoon nap will come someday....(and since this is a late update…he is starting to do a lot better now at almost 15 months).

A couple cute things:

Middle of the night talking—If Henry wakes in the middle of the night and I go in to see him, he immediately stops crying and starts talking. I sometimes wonder if he is telling me about his dreams…”choo choo” or “dada” “book” “mama” are some of his favs ;).

Snap—One day Shaun was snapping to some music, and Henry started trying to snap. He was moving his fingers and not hearing any sound so he started making the sound with his mouth while moving his fingers. He still does it sometimes if we start snapping…so cute :)

Pointing out dada/mama- Henry now loves to point out everybody in pictures around our house especially mama and dada. He especially loves our wedding photos and always says our names with the most excited voice.

Imagining- Henry is just starting imaginary play, and I’m so excited because imaginary play is so fun to me. The first time I ever noticed Henry pretending was when he went over to his music table and pinched like he was picking up some “food” and brought it over to me to “eat.”

I know I say it every month, but this really is such a sweet age. We are so love with our buddy. I can’t believe how big he is now. He really is such a little toddler now :)

No pics this time because I haven't uploaded them on my computer...will just have to put a bunch on the 15 mo update soon :)!

But here is an adorable video of a duet with my favorite two people in this entire world!  Hope you enjoy!  (Shaun is embarassed by his singing voice but I think he sounds great!)...And because it is in hd...half of the video is getting cut off because of the way my blog is formatted...so it might be easier to watch on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg7WC8ApqSs