Already Seven Weeks??!!

I've been planning all week to write a post called "Already Six Weeks??!!," and now that I have time to actually sit down and write...my little love bug is seven weeks!! I have a lot to catch all of you up on so I will start with the fun stuff and then I will give an update on everything else.
Henry has really started to smile, and it is just precious. Oh it just makes my day! I can't wait to get a picture of him smiling because it is soooo cute. I realize that I'm partial, but it is a really big somewhat elvis smile with dimples...I mean how could it be any cuter? He is also getting to be such a big boy...11 lbs 4 ounces at our doctor appointment today (more about that below). My mom helped me realize this past week that it was time to move on from the newborn clothes. Once again...I was in denial...she pointed out to me that his sleeves were now three quarter length, his hand hardly fit through the hole, and I was having to pull on his onesies to even get the snaps closed. We have now moved up to 0-3 months, and I don't think we are even going to get to wear them for very long since I squeezed him into newborns for so long. Henry has also lost almost all of his hair on the top of his head. I was giving him a comb over for as long as I could, but now there is nothing left to comb. I can already see where the new hair is coming in so I know it won't be long until I can comb his hair again, but I miss not being able to give him a little boy hairstyle. One of things I love to do is to lay him on my belly for tummy time and watch him lift his head to look at me. He started out being such a mr. bobblehead doll, but now he is getting to where he can hold his head up and remain pretty still for a few moments.

Now for the update...I'm going to be honest...it has been a rough couple of weeks. Henry's reflux was bothering him so badly that he wasn't even sleeping very much at night. I finally came to my breaking point about a week ago. After some major crying, I broke down and called my mom and asked her if she wanted to come to Mississippi or if she wanted me to come to Alabama. We decided that it would be best for me to come to my mom and dad's house (aka henry's mimi and pops). My house is so small that if Henry was crying, I would still be wide awake listening to him cry even if my mom was taking care of him in the other room. I packed us both up in less than an hour and hit the road! Shaun was okay with us leaving because he knew I needed some sleep, and he couldn't give me the help I needed since he has to work. I was so sleep deprived by the time I got to my parents house that I could hardly talk. I would start to say something, but I couldn't finish a thought...my brain was NOT working. Mom and Dad later told me that we both looked pretty rough. I hate to hear that Henry was looking ill, but I know he wasn't doing well since he wasn't sleeping. Zantac did not work for us so my nurse called in Axid, and we started Henry on his first dosage the first night at my parents. We also started putting Henry to sleep on his side (I'm sorry but he wasn't sleeping on his back so what am I supposed to do??) on am inclined sleep positioner. And I stopped eating and drinking dairy...I had a milk allergy when I was little so it is likely that Henry has one. Mom slept next to him and came to get me when it was time to feed. It was absolutely wonderful to finally get some sleep. Mom also fixed and brought to me all of my meals and drinks...it was fabulous. Pops was also a great help with Henry and could get him to fall asleep on his chest. We affectionately called him the baby whisperer. By the end of the week, we all saw a major improvement in Henry. I think the medicine is definitely helping, and hopefully the not eating/drinking dairy is too (way harder than I thought it would be). We are definitely not there yet, but the fact that Henry is sleeping in between some feedings at night is a major improvement. We are all praying for him, and we know that God is answering our prayers and giving us wisdom and good ideas to help Henry to feel better. One of those ideas came from a fellow blogger (sorry I don't have time to look back to see who it was) who mentioned thrush as a possibility. I looked up the symptoms, and it sounded like we had that too! The main symptoms we have is a painful letdown, Henry pulling off the boob during feedings, and he has a white patch on the center of his tongue (it was always there, but I thought it was milk--whoops!). We went to our breastfeeding doctor today, and she was able to take a look at my nipples and Henry's white patch to confirm that we do have thrush. For those of you who don't know thrush is a yeast infection that is passed back and forth between the mother and baby during breastfeeding. Poor Henry has an itchy tongue on top of everything else, and the yeast could be causing him to have an upset tummy (which would explain the foamy poop). He is not going to know what to do with himself when he is no longer in pain from reflux, a dairy allergy and thrush! We will both be treated together for meds the next two weeks and hopefully our yeast problem will go away soon!!

I can't post on September 24th without taking a moment to remember what happened on this day two years ago. Two years ago I was told on an ultrasound table that my sweet baby no longer had a heartbeat. I can still remember the face on the ultrasound tech, the exact layout of the room...pretty much everything about that day. Shaun met me at the house with bbq takeout, tons of snacks (I think he was afraid I wasn't going to eat) and pads (he knew I was bleeding heavily). We cried for a long time. One of the snacks Shaun happened to buy at the store was cashews. He offered some to me, and I started to cry again..."they look like a little baby fetus." I looked up at him, and we both started to laugh hysterically. I still can't look at a cashew without smiling. I think we went right back to crying again after our laughing, but it was a good break from all of the sadness of the day. September 25th (which is now today considering it is 1 AM) is actually the day that I consider the anniversary of my loss because it was the day of my D&C surgery. It is very hard to explain this feeling unless you have experienced it, but I didn't really feel like she was gone until I woke up from surgery realizing she was no longer inside of me. Two years later as I'm holding my sweet baby boy on my chest, the hurt is still there. It doesn't sting the same, but it is still there. I no longer get a lump in my throat when I see the two little girls that I know that were born around her due date, but I do feel a little sadness. Baby Faith was a miracle from God, and I consider myself blessed to be able to carry her even if it was for such a short time.

No Longer in Denial...

Thanks to the anonymous commenter who mentioned silent reflux. I was just convinced that Henry didn't have reflux because he wasn't spitting up that much (although he has started spitting up more). I was in denial because I really was hoping it was just a small sleep problem and not a medical problem. I finally decided to google the symptoms of reflux in babies in the middle of the night Friday night when Henry hadn't slept from 9 PM to 3 AM. Yes...you read that correctly...9 to 3! Henry has so many of the symptoms including a cough (thought that was normal for newborns like sneezing...whoops!), very frequent hiccups (also thought that was normal), throwing his head back after feedings (I thought he was just working on his neck strength), frequent waking/can't sleep on back. I feel bad that I didn't figure out sooner what was wrong with him. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it because I had nothing to compare him to...I knew the newborn stage was hard so I figured it was okay. I finally woke Shaun up at 3 AM because I literally couldn't stay awake any longer. Shaun knew I really needed help because it is the first time I've woken him since the first week of Henry's life. I'm so glad it was a Friday night so he could lose sleep without having to go to work in the morning. I called our pediatrician's office on sat morning and spoke with a nurse(they have Saturday hours), and she was confident with the symptoms that I described that Henry has reflux. They prescribed Zantac for him, and I'm just praying that this helps him to feel better. I know there is another stronger medicine that we can try if this one doesn't work. I just hate that he is hurting...it is so sad. He is such a cute, sweet little guy. Shaun and I are both miserable watching him in so much pain. So what is the plan for this week? Survival. I'm just going to do everything I can to make him feel as good as possible and not worry about anything else. He loves the infant carrier (makes sense why he loves it so much now) so I will just carry him around all day if I have to! He also does okay in his bouncy seat so he might sleep in that tonight next to me on the couch. I did start pumping a little on Saturday so that Shaun or someone else can give him a bottle if I need a break. Please pray that Henry starts to feel better soon! I really appreciate all of the very helpful encouragement and advice/ideas the other day. I plan on using a lot of the advice once we get over this little hump! Y'all are the best!

Need Advice!

I have several posts that I need to write including our ten year dating anniversary (yesterday), our first trip, and a funny poop story, but today those will have to go on the back burner because I need advice. Here is our current "schedule/routine"...it is not working, and I need some advice on how to fix it...any and all suggestions are welcome!
Our "morning" starts at around noon (as both of us finally sleep during the morning hours)- we do the eat, wake, sleep cycle every 2 1/2 hours (which is fine with me). Breastfeeding is going pretty well, but Henry does like to take cat naps during feeding, which makes it hard to wake him up to give him a full feeding (it takes effort, but I'm usually successful with a full feeding). He hates being on his back alone so I just lay him on the couch next to me until he wakes up for more. After his diaper change, Henry is awake and ready to party. He is very alert during his activity time, and he stays awake a lot longer than what the books say for his age
(around 45 mins after his feeding). I put him down as soon as he shows signs of being sleepy. Activities during the awake time--tummy time once a day, bouncy seat, bath, a walk outside). I've tried to put him down sooner wondering if he was overstimulated, but he just looks around his bassinet and coos and then as soon as it is time to sleep--the screaming starts. I will go in and comfort him several times and give him his paci, but he still stays awake and screams. Henry will nap great in my arms, his bouncy seat (sometimes), his carseat (if it is moving--like walking around the neighborhood or riding in the car), and an infant carrier (but I have to walk around the house the entire time- no sitting :). This pattern continues until the first "night" feeding at midnight.
After the midnight feeding- mom wants to go to bed! I want him on his back, alone, in his crib where he is safe. Henry looks like someone just gave him a shot of espresso at this feeding. (By the way I don't drink any caffeine at all so that isn't an issue). He stays wide awake like "you are not going to get me to sleep Mom!" And I don't! I go in a calm him down many times, and calms right down, but usually by the time I get to bed and maybe fall asleep...he is screaming again. This continues until it has been 2 1/2 hours, and I decide to go feed him again (around 2:30). Sometimes (on great nights) he is so tired at this feeding that he goes into a deep sleep, and we are both able to sleep for 2 hours. On a usual night, he acts like he is never eaten before and becomes a wild man-- extremely aggressive and clumsy, and he takes both of his hands and grabs my skin the entire time. It is during a feeding like this that I can definitely understand why women have trouble breastfeeding. Again, he is wide awake (too tired to calm himself down)--I've tried at this point to rock him into a deep sleep (doesn't really happen) or laying him down hoping he will fall asleep (doesn't happen). This trying to get him to sleep thing goes on for usually another hour. Last night, he didn't sleep at all so around 4 AM I got up and fed him on the couch, and we both finally fell asleep in a very uncomfortable position. Honestly, this is when we both start getting sleep. I'm not saying it is right...it is just all I can do at that point. Last night, we slept for about an 1 1/2 until he was ready to eat again. It is usually around 7 AMish that I give up! I lay him down next to me on the couch, and we sleep for several hours. Sometimes we will have a quick feeding in between but we usually sleep until noon. Today I fed him at 8ish, and he stayed awake forever but eventually fell asleep for 3hours. So this is our routine and obviously it isn't working. I know what a good routine should look like, but I don't know how to make it happen. I don't want to let him cry it out...he is too young (five weeks on friday). He is swaddled tightly at night, and he has a clean diaper before I put him down. I don't think it is reflux because he doesn't spit up that much, and he doesn't arch his back or scream right after a feeding. Okay so help??!!!!!!